Redhorror...some people binge from past hurts (many people)...but in your case...I think there's an added element here. I think because you dieted, you are subconsciously afraid of starving now. I think that's what has kicked off the bingeing. Your body thinks it might never get food again. I think NOT dieting is your best bet (easier said than done, I know). I do know how frustrated you are. It s*cks. It's awful to feel so out of control. Anyway, I didn't want to hijack this thread but I saw your post and it stuck out for me. I think there are a lot of people walking around in our society who have been taught they "must" diet and as a result their subconscious is rebelling. Believe it or not...it's your body trying to keep itself alive. Darn dieting, anyway.

I feel like telling you all to get out of my head! or so it seems you all know whats going on in it...even before I do!

I am sitting here nodding my head going ya thats me,,,yup...oh ya I remember doing that.

So Im pulling out the journal again and tracking my food. I weigh in tonight,,,and as stupid as this sounds Im feeling rebelious over what I know is a gain. Ive already binged since being home 3 hours ago,,,now in 1 hour I have to face what Ive done.
So tomorrow I will vow to drink my water. Eat alot,,,but good clean food. Sounds fare right?
See ya all tomorrow then...lol

Hi Everyone!

I think I can relate to just about everyone here. I slowly gained weight over the past few years - the whole time denying I had an emotional eating problem. I use food to numb myself - to avoid feeling unpleasant. Food is also an effective mood lifter - and a lot easier than doing all those other things we know we are supposed to do "take a walk, call a friend, etc."

I used to have horrible binges - eating mindlessly massive quantities of high sugar and high fat food - to the point I felt ill afterwards. I've successfully connquered that level of bingeing, but recently realized that my emotional eating was still keeping me from losing any significant weight. I now see a therapist and keep a food log with daily calorie estimations. I also know that I never want to restrictively diet. I know that feelings of deprivation will only drive me to "cheat." When nothing is forbidden, I can't cheat. But that means every food I eat comes at a price...and that is always tough.

I've been doing pretty well with all of this so far, but nights are tough for me. I get lonely, tired and stressed from the work day...and it has been a struggle each night to not eat mindlessly to lift my naturally depressed mood. I know it will get easier, and in some ways it has, but I feel this will be a long and difficult process. But also I will say, in some ways, I've started to actually enjoy the journey. Each night after I fight off those urges to eat...and allow myself to truly feel whatever it is I'm feeling...it's almost like, a new person is begining to immerge. It's hard to explain...a lot of it really sucks because when I don't choose food to numb myself, actually feeling the bad stuff really sucks! Then the suckiness subsides, and an almost euphoria starts to immerge - partially because I successfully fought the urge to emotionally eat, but even more is a liberation that comes with acknowledging and addressing the negative emotions that I've covered up for so long...anyway, sorry for the long winded post...just good to know there are others out there going through the same thing!

I just want to say that I am glad this board exists. I've been reading it and it helps alot. Thanks.

I'm so glad to hear that, Veronica.

I kind of think in some ways bingeing is NOT about the food. I mean, it does make sense that if you deny yourself foods you love (what some people call "trigger foods"), you'll eventually go crazy and eat everything in the cupboard. Yet, many of us end up bingeing on things we don't even like very much. What's up with that?

I've come to the conclusion that I do much better keeping my bingeing under control when I take good care of myself. When I dress well, wear makeup, get enough sleep, exercise, eat healthfully, ask my dh when I need him to do things instead of silently fuming that he hasn't done the dishes for the third day in a row, socialize with my friends occasionally, have hobbies that I regularly participate in, go on dates with my dh, have s*x fairly often with dh, etc. If I start neglecting myself, stress and anxiety build up to such an extent that I binge crazily and find myself eating crappy store bought cookies that aren't even that great until I feel sick.

My bingeing used to be more about food. When I was younger I would skip breakfast and lunch (trying to lose weight you know) and just eat dinner. That would work for a couple of weeks until I found myself driving madly to Dunkin' Donuts to buy a dozen donuts and eat part of each one until I felt sick. I'd make chocolate chip cookies and eat so much dough and so many cookies I felt disgustingly ill. Then I'd make sure I finished the few cookies left the next day because I was going to "start a diet" the next day. Thank heavens I no longer have that "last supper" mentality, but like the first poster on this thread, I go for months and months without the slightest urge to binge or even overeat, then suddenly find myself cramming food into my mouth day after day until I've gained 10 pounds.

I do keep most of the foods I love in the house all the time. I honestly rarely feel tempted to eat all of the Hershey kisses in the cupboard anymore because they are always there and I can have one whenever I want. I usually stick to one or two these days and feel fine. We always have potato chips around but I rarely even eat them. I don't feel like I'd better eat them now before they're gone -- because they're always there. Anyway, I'll stop rambling now...