You all have no idea how much your comments and suggestions mean to me. After posting my original post I went and had my mom take the dreaded "before" pictures. They showed everything. I sat in front of the computer screen staring at what I had become. It was to painful to cry. As a last hope before going to bed I check for replies. Thankfully, I already had some. They helped, a lot. Like many other things, you wish no one was in this spot, but are glad when you aren't alone.
I thought about what I COULD do. As small as these things may seem. They will help me make a few changes. A couple of days ago I bought a 64oz mug online. This will no doubt make a huge difference in my water intake. Not having to do refills or open 16oz after 16oz bottle will be nice. I also have the Walk Away the Pounds DVD. After months of sitting on the shelf I pulled it out and did the one mile walk. Tonight I will go head to the store (yet again) to pick fruits and veggies for healthier choices. I've done this countless times and feel like a broken record. Its embarressing to throw away batch after batch. Maybe this time will be different?
Like many told me, I have made a goal to lose 5 lbs in two weeks. My guess is with drinking water, watp and fruits/veggies everyday I can make this goal. At this point I'm not READY to give up and make huge changes to food. Hopefully I will soon though.

Hi numb

I started out by (literally) changing one thing at a time. I was drinking 4 - 5 cans of Coke a day; so I cut it to 3 - 4. Over a period of weeks, I cut out Coke altogether. One week, my only change was to replace the sugar in my tea with Splenda. I HAD to do it that way because changing everything all at once would have meant failure for me. BABY STEPS is the best advice I can possibly give you.

Also:

- walking is a great place to start w/exercise.

- I HIGHLY recommend weight-training because muscle is metabolically active, meaning it burns calories even when you're sitting around doing nothing (1 pound of muscle burns something like 30 - 50 extra calories a day).

- DO NOT let 1 day off-plan or a week with no loss discourage you -- it happens to all of us.

- Be kind to yourself -- and realistic -- and know that this process is (a) going to take a long time, and (b) is not a "diet" that will be "over" one day -- it is for life!

- Keep checking in here....everyone here is fantastic!

You can do it!!!! And WE can help you!!

One more thing ...

When I used to buy healthy food and find myself throwing it out after a week or whatever, it was always because I didn't plan. Having the stuff in the house is definitely the first step. The next step that was always important to me is to have a concrete plan rather than playing the "what do I feel like preparing / eating?" game. The more you can remove whim (and the possibility of leaving the healthy food to rot) and replace it with a PLAN, the more likely you are to follow through. If you're doing the baby-steps method, one way to do it might be to sit down every night and write down how much of each fruit/vegetable you are going to have the next day, and when.

Like the old saying goes ... "When we fail to plan, we plan to fail."

Check out some of the recipe forums for ideas (or dig out one of those old healthy recipe books we prolly all have somewhere)....there is all kinds of nifty stuff out there! funniegirrl and Kate are right - you need to start off with a plan before you are hungry. That way when you do get hungry you are already anticipating your healthy choice.

You can do it this time!!!! This is the last time - the commitment is to yourself. You ARE worth it!!!

Oh - and Port is adorable!!!!!!

One other MAJOR tip (I can't believe I forgot to add this).

SNACKS.

I always eat something about every 2 hours. That way when it comes time for an actual meal, I don't pig out. It's especially helpful if I haven't planned out my meals ahead of time due to a busy week or whatever. If I drove home STARVING I would (without a doubt) find myself at a drive-thru somewhere....which, of course, is exactly how I ended up 189lbs/a tight size 18 to begin with.

Another thing that has worked for me is meal planning. I don't throw away produce, because I buy it knowing what I'm going to do with it. On Sunday, I plan what I'm going to eat for the week - 3 meals a day and snacks. Then, I go to the grocery store and buy what I need to make the meals for that plan. I rarely waste anything. Some people wouldn't like as much structure as I do, but structure really really worked for me.

I hope you are buying more than just healthy fruits and vegetables. They wouldn't provide enough calories a day for successful, healthy long term weight loss. It would be a good idea to plan meals that you can keep eating for your life, not just a "diet" that you will follow and then stop. Now that I'm maintaining, I eat exactly what I ate when I was losing weight. I think that's why I'm so successful at keeping the weight off, which was my big goal.

Some of my favorite things to make:

Sweet potato/black bean quesadillas with tomato and whole wheat tortillas (a little low fat sharp cheddar cheese)

Tofu stir fry with spicy sauce and all kinds of vegetables I like over brown rice

Home made pasta sauce with fresh basil, sun dried tomato and veggie crumbles over whole wheat pasta

Big pot of tomato chickpea/leek/zucchini soup with crusty whole wheat bread and a little parm cheese on top

All healthy - all foods I like to eat, are easy to make and I look forward to eating. All foods I have no problem eating past weight loss!

As far as a goal of 5 lbs in 2 weeks, it might be better to make your goal to eat healthy for 2 weeks. If you lose weight, that's fantastic, if you don't, at least you did a good thing for your body/long term health for 2 weeks. Tying goals to weight loss can be very frustrating, since the body can be very frustrating. It would be a bad thing to get frustrated right at the beginning!

Dear all,
This week, after thinking that I had stayed on my diet quite well (but I wasn't able to exercise much this week...), I didn't lose any weight...so I have been reading various threads for a little inspiration and I have decided to go buy a food journal and track EVERYTHING "going in."

So Numb, dear...you can get A LOT of support from this website...and you will LOVE it. I do. Going ALL THE WAY to my goal weight is, for me, one of the most important goals of my life...and getting over food addiction...and crazy yo-yo food manias. I believe your picture shows you with a young baby. As you know, every healthy change you make for yourself will benefit your baby (and any future babies you have) and your husband. I've noticed that a lot of men (husbands) are sickly by the time they are in their forties or so...and I think that is because men often just eat what is put in front of them. But when their wife knows about good nutrition and educates the husband...and also sees to it, that he eats well...he stays nice and healthy.

Bye for now,
Joyli

numb -- I second what glory87 said -- don't set a weight loss goal for a particular time, set a performance goal (eat so many fruits and veggies, or plan and eat healthy dinners). Weight loss is a function of more than whether or not we do what we're "supposed" to -- you can do it all right and still not lose weight. And if you don't lose, you are more likely to give up.

Why not set "movement" goals for yourself too? Like, today I'll take the baby on a walk, or I'll walk up and down the stairs 2 extra times, or whatever? Moving is very helpful for health and weight loss.

Hi Numb

Take yourself out of the vicious circle

Try to lose weight- drastically
Can't control - binge
Binge - Feel really bad
back to trying to lose weight!!!!!!!!

This is such a depressing place to be (I've been there for a very long time)
Everytime I managed to lose weight I started to binge, and literately drowned myself in food, Until I gained back more, then I got so depressed I would start starvation diet again. I would wake up in the morning and cry, thinking I have to face another day, I wished I could die! (I was up to 279.4 pounds and beyond, (the scale couldn't read higher)

Take one step at a time, make little changes not big, and learn to be happy with yourself, I am overjoyed at myself now for each day I control my eating! If I eat one serve instead of the whole packet!! I allow myself enough food! but just to have the control to say no, I have had enough! That is my ultimate goal! Not really to lose weight! But to have control! Food is like a drug to me, I lose myself to it all the time.
If I gave in today to a binge , I would be in that for 6 months or more!

My first change was going for a walk each day ! at first I would huff and puff after one block! but start slow! , I soon found a friend who still walks with me nearly every day (18 months later). Then after a month walking I though that why am I stuffing my face, when I am trying to be healthy, so I cut back slowly...

But the main thing I found was that I had to care enough about myself not to let myself kill myself slowly with food.

Sometimes just going out and buying all your fruit and veg, and cutting back to a healthy diet straight away can be too hard! You would be setting up for a fall!! Be careful! allow yourself some things that you like, but just make sure it is less than you normally eat! or find a substitute that you like! If you like dip and chips! a lower calorie alternative is to by Pita bread (or burrito bread) and bake it in the oven until it is crispy , then break it up into chip size. Then get some low fat cheese spread (low fat philly, or cottage cheese, mix in some chutney you like(corn relish), for a reasonable dip!!!!!
Or if you like chips, fry's, (deep fried potato) try to put it on a baking tray, and only use a little cooking oil spray, sprinkle with seasoning and bake until crisp!!!!!

There are lots of low fat or low calorie alternatives!!!!!!!!

(use light evaporated milk and coconut essense, instead of coconut milk in curries! my whole family loves that!!!!!!!! creamy but healthy!)

Start smiling!!!!!!!!!!!

Another thing (and I actually just did this). If you buy something that comes in a big box or bag -- like chips or crackers or something -- read what 1 serving size is and then divide that entire bag/box into little Ziploc baggies the INSTANT you get home. I have to do this because Kate + a bag of food = Kate eating the whole bag of food. If I decide to have some chips/crackers/whatever and just grab the whole bag, I tend to shift into mindless-shoveling-of-food mode and before I know it, the whole bag is gone. I think maybe we've all done that at some point... It also helps because if you suddenly have to go out and don't have a "food plan" you can just grab a baggie. Works well with veggies, etc. too.

First I want to say you can do this. It might be a hard slow road you have to travel but you can do this my friend. Okay the people on this forum are the best and there is nothing than you are going through that someone on here hasn't been through. Okay the first thing you have to change is your mind. that to me is the most important step. Food has to become simply fuel for your body.
Once you see it in that light that is most of the battle. As long as you see food as a friend or foe you will long for it or despise it. brainwash yourself with books, ( winning by losing by Jillian Michaels is a good one) television shows ( fit tv has some awesome shows ) learn about nutrition, know how your body functions. set up your plan. then bust your butt to make it come true. you can do this I wish you the best