Hello

Thanx for all the support guys.. It makes you feel much less alone in this crazy world. I can't talk to hubby. I dont even think we are friends anymore. I wathced OPrah yesterday, and it was about women putting their children before their marriage. One lady had written an article that had others fuming.. she said that she loved her husband more then her kids!.. I couldnt imagine.. My kids are the first priority in my life. Maybe that is why i cant stay with a man. I don;t know they are adults i think they can look after themselves. The kids can't. Aw well. Maybe it is because i had a kid before i met him and he was my world. Hard to just stop that. I decided not to tell him anything about diet or anything like that. He just doesnt get it, or doesnt want to. I know i am keeping myself from losing the weight as well. In my head i think i will lose the weight find my self esteem and leave him. But i am scared to be on my own.. i am 25 have no mobey, have 2 kids w/2 different fathers, overweight, and no skills other then changing poopy diapers. How am i going to be on my own. That is the only reason i stay i think.. because i have nowhere else to go. It is convenient. plus he works and lets me stay home with the kids. That is what i want. I dunno. Man i am sorry about another me post. You guys are going to ban me lol. Well i hope you guys are enjoying this nice thursday.. tomorrow is FRIDAY! ttfn XXOO

Ps. thanx for listening!

hey Terri, this is a support group....we are here for you.


Jane, its called Taking it Off,,,a reality tv show about weightloss....every day Jill/Joe trying to lose weight on their own...

Susan as JAne said,,,I would say hes more of a pal then shes saying,,,my thought is pals don't get that close to give a hickey....at least not in my day!...lol

Well today is my day off and I have a lost as long as my arm to get done...Started off rough with Tanner sleeping in....grrrr so I had to drive in rush hour madness to get him there....
well the house is more or less clean...got alot of props done,,,still need a naughty saying,,anyone?
My friend Cat, also my hair stylist is getting me a couple of styrfoam heads so I can make a head on a pike...oooo I can be gory! thinking of putting wires on the bottom of the head to look like veins...then spraying it all red for blood! and this is funny, I had to make a head to match a cast member...lol asked her the other day what she plans to do with her hair,,,she loves wigs so I could probably get a wig to match...lol
going to rent all my metal stuff...swords, breastplates and helmets. My other concern was making 3 different newspapers but have already came up with many funny stories to go on it and have called a friend who works in a newspaper printing shop! Im so on top right now...yay for once!
well should get going,,,on the hunt for retractable knives...

No, I edited stuff out so there isn't a complete thought there ( is there ever?? haha)

In my opinion she has no boyfriend, she can have boys as friends. Though she has other idea's and acts on them. Being the NCP my say is over looked at times. I would most certainly be more strict with the girls and throw out her phone - which she talks on at all hours of the day.Make sure she is in school , not at all happy with her 7 days missed alone this term.

In my day though (back in the late 70's) girls in 5th grade had "boyfriends".

Not meaning they go out on dates with them but hang out in groups and give each other hickey's.........*roll eyes* So, it is kind of the cat is out of the bag. Not really going to be able to keep her home making butter. She really does need stricter guidelines though.lol

I haven't talked with Rocky since Tuesday night. Though we "talk" on a single parent board. He just responded to my post saying I was having a "sad day". He responded saying he hoped today was better and he just had the 2 worst days of his life.

Course I doubt he will do anything about it. Not going to stand up to nana or pack his bags and head on over here. We could meet in California , at least that wouldn't be as far and his family is there.

Terri!!! You sound a lot like me back when I was 35. I spent 10 years in a marriage that was dead. He chipped at my self esteem til I believed I couldn't make it without him, no man would ever want me at 245 pounds, I had a 7th grade education.

Though one day I was tired of being tired.Dusted off a used treadmill and walked 10 minutes on it. Til I was walking 3 miles and losing weight.
If I became a the woman he wanted to be than everything would be alright?? He wouldn't call me names??

Strange though but the more I lost I found out he wasn't supportive like I thought he would be( or dreamed he would be).

He would walk in the house and give me a ugly look and say "you doing that again??" I was walking on the treadmill. Remarks like "you will gain it back, why bother?" "who you losing weight for?"

I think the more I lost the more he realized he was losing control of me.

So, when I lost the weight it wasn't "dang- I am proud of you, you look great!!" it was "you look like a slut".

It crushed me. I wanted my picture taken and he said " frankly Susan that isn't a priority of mine".......after so many years of me taking pictures of him and the kids.

I remember going into the bathroom and crying- knowing I would leave him.

It really wasn't til I joined Yahoo's Richards Angels and hearing positive remarks from the members there - that I deserved better , that I have accomplished so much in losing 110 pounds......

I would click off the computer and hear his negative remarks......and it wasn't my truth anymore......I didn't belive that anymore.

So, while my life is still crazy 5 years later, it is my life. I have a good job, I provide for my children.

There are good and bad days still but there are no days that I regret - I don't have to live under someone elses thoughts about who I am.

Chatter, chatter............lol

Sorry - many HUGS to you Terri


best get!!

Hi there girls!

Katy--You're very inspirational you know! You're always on the go and getting your exercise in on top of it!! That truly inspires me to manage my time better. I may have to check out those videos!! And then make some room somewhere in my house to do them.

Mindee--In our town, the clinic was open on Tues & Wed only. Frustrating when you have your own schedule. I believe it has a lot to do w/budget.

Jane--Your picnic basket sounds cute!! I keep telling James that I would love to get a picnic basket and then go out for picnics.....but we haven't done it yet. Our picnic consist of buying dinner at some restaurant and then going to the park!

Terri--As Angie has said, this is a support forum. I know what you're going through. I've been there. And it's not fun. It's emotionally draining and any thoughts of trying to make yourself healthy is usually on the bottom of the list. Always know that you can come here to talk....and if you want to talk privately you can always pm me or talk through e-mail. I'll send you my e-mail address.

Angie--I'm not sure what kind of naughty saying you're looking for! You sure are busy!! Now, are these plays volunteer work? You sure put a lot into it all. And I just loved the last plays costumes. I wish I was able to see it in person!! Then I can say "I know the girl who made all those beautiful fairies!"

Susan--How hard it must be for you w/the Rocky situation. I'm sure he's feeling the same as you are, his family is there, yours is here....but somehow it must work! My thoughts are w/you.

Hello to everyone else.

Made some banana nut bread today. Hoping it gets done before James leaves. Smells good in my house today!!

James has been talking about moving to the Conducters Extra board.....means less time at home and more money. I don't see him much now, so what would the difference be?? He'd make double what he's making...so I say: MOVE TO THE EXTRA BOARD!!

I have this girl at work who gives me her clothes that are too small on her....they shrunk and she's taller than me and after they shrink.....fit me nicely! And she's really into styles and clothes that flatter the body....so I'm loving it!! I've received many nice tops from her. Now.....to give something to her in return!

Ok...off I go to check my banana bread!

Almost Friday!!!

Will he does have his job with the state but his family is in California- at least some of them are.
He won't take Kris from nana...........who knows.

Maybe the custody thing is wearing me down?? Maybe I just want it over with?? I love the girls but it would be kind of fun to live in Hawaii. Though with all the plane hopping we will have to do it is kind of funny we ain't doing any right now......lol

Maybe I just want him to come over?? And he won't and that ticks me off.....because it has been 5 months and it would be so nice to see him in person............

blah

I did lose weight though!! YAY........lol

Good morning ladies!

Terri - just my thoughts on the husband/kids thing. Neal comes first in my life - he's the one I made long-range plans with, not my kids. Not to say I would ever turn my back on my kids or anything, (NO WAY!) but I always did revolve my life more around him than the kids. They had everything they needed, including so very much love and attention, but Neal comes first. He's my life partner - the kids are not. If I had a bad partner, I wouldn't feel this way, I'm sure. And when I was single, my kids came before any boyfriend ever did. I dumped more than one guy who I felt wouldn't make a good dad to my kids. With Neal, the kids have seen what a good marriage looks like. We treat each other with kindness and affection, but they have also seen us resolve issues without losing control. I spoil my husband much more than I ever spoiled my kids. Just my 2¢ on all that, lol. Btw, I really feel for you in your current situation, and wish there was some way I could help. If there is, just let me know, ok? You are fitting in with this group very well, and I know any of us would help if we knew what to do.

Angie - good luck finding the props! Sounds like an adventure, lol. What's the next step for Taking It Off? OMG, it would be sooooo cool if you got on the show! Is this a Canadian show?

Susan - what has made Rocky have the worst 2 days of his life?!? Poor guy! He just doesn't strike me as the type to mention that unless he had a really terrible 2 days!

Marti - mmmm.... I can smell your banana nut bread all the way in Indiana, lol!! Put a little peanut butter on my slice, ok? YAY for the clothes from your friend. Maybe you could take her some of the bread. Fatten her up a little more and you'll get the rest of her clothes, too, LOL. Just kidding!!!!

Cristi - hope you're having a good day.

After trying on about a bazillion things, Katie found two of the cutest outfits! Totally different. She got a skirt that is black with pink and white slender stripes and it has a plain black top with it. The other outfit is a yellow, white and green box-pleated plaid and floral skirt that has a yellow ribbon on it, and a light-weight yellow sweater to go with it. She looks so nice in both sets. I just need to get them washed up. Hate the stinky smell of new clothes. Usually she does her own laundry, but I volunteered for these.

Today my friend Marquita is coming for lunch. You might remember that she treats me when we eat in town, and then I cook homemade meals for her when she visits me out here. I'm looking forward to her visit.

Have a great day, chickies!

Good morning all,

Well as you can see there are a couple people in here who know exactly how you are feeling....

Susan, Thats said about Rocky and nana,,,just can't believe how his MIL can rule his home to this point!
I remember the Richard Angel days when you would buzz in chat for a bit then log off,,,and a few minutes later be back,,,

Marti, thats cool you have someone giving you clothes...buy a gift certificate for $30 or something like that at one of the shops she shops at. Eventually whatever she buys will be yours...lol

Jane, I remember some talk show topic was putting your spouse first...being they would be your life partners...hard to do when the kids are small and more demanding...but as they grow the demands do diminish (somewhat)

Got alot of props done,,,the head on the pike is done,,,but the director doesn't like how I painted the lips,,,valid point,,,they did look not right. Got the retractable knives, candles,,,and holders, goose, lamb ...and I found 2 inch eyelashes,,,those guys are going to have fun getting used to them...lol yes guys as in men...lol Got the seed bags, bows and a saying for the needlepoint. Young and hard is how I like my....the rest is blank...as in shes not done needlepointing...lol
well have to get to work...
we have tickets to go see A Chorus Line tonight...can't wait.

Good morning ladies. Had my walk in by 7 am, answered my emails, played with a new desk top and now I'm taking to you. Any one hear from Ellen yet? Hummm. Weeded, hacked and whacked yard from one end to the other yesterday. Last year at this time would never of been able to do what I did. To over weight and couldn't hardly walk . No leg braces yet. Things sure can change. Been getting some emails from some VERY lonely men or perverts. They all start out asking for friendship and a pen pal the next you know their talking about how in love with you they are and do you think their sexy. Ye Gads, that God for that delete button. Girls, got to run. Chores are calling.

Hi Ladies~

Terri-Lee~about kids/hubby being a priority or coming first...hard for me to say DH came first in my first marriage because I think the kids always come first. Especially when from birth thru grade school, and maybe even beyond. You take them to school, sporting events, etc. How does a spouse come first when kids are young? I mean, I did things for dh, my marriage was good and we had "our" time, just like now. And now...I love my DH very much and would never do anything to hurt him. He is my best-friend, my lover, my lifetime partner. But my kids are a part of me, they are my life. I also think that you don't really love one more than the other (DH or the kids) it's just a different love for your DH and your children, there's a different bond. He knows they will always come first (he knew this going into the marriage) and he's fine with that, he wouldn't have it any other way. Anyway, (((((HUGS))))) to you. I am sorry that your hubby doesn't support you in the things that you do.

Susan~you are right...I had a boyfriend in 4th grade that was always trying to kiss me! And in 6th grade a lot of the girls had boyfriends and were going steady. So thinking back on it all it's not a lot different today. I'm sorry for all the things going on in your life and for what happened in your marriage. (((((HUGS))))) I can only imagine how hard things are for you, all the stress-you have a lot on you rplate right now. And I can totally see your point with Rocky. To be honest...I don't think it is fair for him to ask you to move to where he is. JMHO V was more than willing to move to AR where I was but I didn't think he could have gotten as good a job there as the one he had. Of course we aren't as far from my family as you would be from yours. I think he has got to give a little and not expect you to. I know it would be beautiful to live in HI but it would be very hard to leave your family, your girls at the same time. Long distance relationships are hard, I know. I do hope everything works out for you guys, you two make a great couple!

Pam~so glad to see you checking in. I haven't heard anything from Ellen.

Marti~that is cool! Nothing like getting free clothes!

Katy~know what ya mean about the dryer. Sometimes if I put too many big/heavy towels in the dryer at one time it will take 3 hours to dry them, as with the jeans. DH wanted to get new appliances (washer & dryer) when we moved here but I said no-just bought those 6 years ago. Anyway, we are on the verge...they have a set at Lowes called Bosche (sp?) I think or something like that that are supposed to be really good. And they are the front loading ones which I definitely want-no more bending! One day...hope you are enjoying yours.

Jane~just put some spanish heather and a few geraniums in some pots on the deck. Don't normally buy geraniums but they love the sun so...the heather I also like, like the purple flowers and it is easy to grow.

Mindee~well, at least you don't have too much longer till you get to the doc. The first visit is always exciting.

Angie~keeping my fingers for the interview.

No much going on with me, same old, same old. Had planned on doing some yard work today but that darn wind is blowing way tooooo hard. Did manage to do a little yesterday so guess that will have to do for now. That's about all I have. Have a good one ladies.

Hello girls--

Jane--James took most of the banana nut bread w/him to KFalls and but I've still got some and I'll try the peanut butter! About the giving some to the girl, she's really trying to lose weight. She's bigger than me (not just taller), but when her clothes shrink....they'r perfect for me! Last night I commented on her top which was really cute and she said.."It just may be yours in the next day or two!" I just rolled my eyes and said "It looks beautiful on you!! Keep it! You can't give everything away!"

Angie--I've been thinking of what I would like to give her. I have already given her a pin that was amongst the costume jewelry that caught her eye. I will never wear it and James didn't want to keep it (We have TONS of jewelry from his grandma)So I may search in there some more and find another piece.

Cristi--We've had some gorgeous days out lately. so nice that I didn't even bring a coat to work w/me (and working nights...it gets cold.!) Hope the wind stops long enough to let you enjoy some gardening!

Pam--Glad to see you pop in! I'm so proud of you! What a difference a year makes!! Being able to do what you weren't able to do before. That is definately a NSV!!!!

Terri--I wish there were the right words to help you cope w/things w/your DH. I think it's time to do some possible soul searching. I remember being in your shoes. I was depressed. My ex was visiting and talking to his ex girlfriend all the time and taking Jhanai to go play w/her son (where was I? at work) I was so unhappy, and that's when my weight had hit an all time high. So I made some decisions. I had decided that I'm going to figure out how to make this marriage work. Give it a year, but first I need to work on loving me again. Well that last year I was w/him, I lost my weight, grew stronger and realized, that no matter what I look like,how I acted, my situation at home is never going to change. And it's SO unfair to Jhanai to see one parent completely depressed to the point of distruction. And so I left. Now, my ex isn't a horrible person, he was just NOT the right man for me. Our relationship was a toxic one. I think he would be perfect if he had the right girl come along. There is a soul mate for everyone I say! Anyway, I didn't mean to make this so long, just know that I know you're not alone and we're here if you need us!!

My early day today so I need to get things done that need done before I leave....like putting on some clothes! A robe just doesn't cut it!

Take care girls, it's FRIDAY!!!!

Good afternoon!


Beautiful dy in Portland. Have Gaby in a cute summer dress and I even put on the AC in the car, so warm!

Wiggles tomorrow!!!

Jane- Rocky was meaning the worse 2 days because he hadn't talked with me.

Though we did talk last night for 2 hours- it just breezed by. He really is my best friend.

Still haven't resolved much. He will come in July, he will look at employment. Though he puts a lot on what Kris wants - who knows why?? I know nana has done the threat of taking custody away if he tried to leave the state - heck.......even if he came for a visit without bringing the boy.Sorry, but I think she is horrid, what a nasty lady.

My pms stress has calmed so we are back to chatting and sharing and hoping to be together. Though I didn't back down to not wanting to move. Nevada or Idaho??? He has family in both states, he doesn't want California - he lived there 23 years. Hawaii just seems so far away. It would be different if my kids were with me. I would ( and did when I was there in Nov.) go stir crazy wanting to see them. I have missed so much of Rach & Beck's life as it is......

better get to work - tons to catch up on by tonight.

Chat later!!

Hello everyone…..how are you all doing?

Well, I went in for confirmation of this pregnancy with a local pregnancy clinic. She asked me if I had any needs at the moment, which we don’t, but she did tell me to come in closer to my due date because they like to do little “shower packages” for the women. She said that they get stuff donated there all the time and the newborn stuff is usually the only thing that they get that is brand new. But she said that they like to give the women a package of diapers and some gowns or whatever they have to help them out. I have two letters that she gave me for my doctors office. According to her chart for the due date, this baby is due on October 20, 2005, just one day sooner then the internet told me. Which I find kind of ironic because with Brandon I started out due on April 21, and then got bumped up to April 20. And if this one is anything like my pregnancy with Brandon, then they just might be exactly 18 months apart!

We are going to be having Brandon’s party inside tomorrow, because good old Michigan weather is showing her wintry side. We are under a Winter Storm Watch starting officially tomorrow night, but they just wanted to give us a heads up. I never would have guessed there being snow on my son’s first birthday!

We have pretty much everything done for his party. Tommy is going out in the morning to buy the pop, beer, ice and balloons. He is also picking up a friend of his as well. All that really needs to get done either tonight or definitely tomorrow is the making of the non-ice cream cake, and the making of the mostaccioli.

Angie~ I have been meaning to pick up both of those cds. Are they both really good? The movie “Ray” was phenomenal!

Susan~ Sorry to hear that Rocky hasn’t called. And I notice your ticker is moving….good job!

Jane~ I was able to get to the clinic today. And boy let me tell you, it was a LOT different then I thought it would be. The lady let me pee in the cup and do the test myself. She set the timer and off we went so she could get some information, like my name and all that. After 5 minutes, we went back out and the test was glowing positive. By her calculations, I am due October 20th. I am glad I have that done and out of the way. Now, Monday I just have to call and see if they want me to bring in the letter at my appointment or if they need it sooner. I saw you mentioned a picnic basket. When me and Tommy got married, my aunt and uncle, who are my godparents, bought us this awesome picnic backpack. We haven’t used it yet, but it has all the dishes, silverware and what not. All we would have to add is the food.

Terrie-Lee~ Don’t worry…..you will NOT get banned from the group. We are hear to listen! I have to agree….all the receptionist told me was “well, they are telling me to tell you to just take prenatals and to make sure you eat for now.” I am thisclose to raising **** with that place. I am going to write down questions that I already have for the doctor.

Marti~ I called the clinic today to make sure they were going to be open before heading up there, and they were only open until 1pm. (I called at 11:30am) So we quickly got dressed, made it to the clinic, and the lady was really nice. When I talked to her on the phone, she didn’t even know that the clinic had been closed on Wednesday because no one came in.

Pam~ You have been a very busy little bee.

Ellen~ I hope you are okay. We haven’t heard from you in a while, we all hope you are okay.

Cristi~ I can’t wait for this appointment. I am wondering if this one is going to let me hear his/her heartbeat. Brandon didn’t let me hear his heartbeat on a Doppler until 22 weeks along, but that was because I had extra padding and a tilted uterus.

good morning ladies,

Not much to say, went to A Chrous Line last night was great,,,saw alot of people I had worked with up on stage...kinda cool.
I have rehearsal fill in today,,,the stage manager can't make it so Ill fill her shoes since its blocking time. Head on a pike is done,,,need to finish that needlepoint.

anywho gotta run...

A very good Saturday morning ladies~

Nothing much to say, just wanted to check in and wish everyone a good weekend. Mine will be the same old, same old...laundry, cleaning house, etc. yadda, yadda, yadda...

Mindee~have a great BD party!

Angie~glad you liked a Chorus Line.

Susan~you and Gaby enjoy the Wiggles!

Marti~enjoy your weekend with Jhanai!

Hi to everyone else

That's about all I have. Take care ladies and have a wonderful weekend! See ya