hey ladies, quick check in! What a whirl wind weekend, worked all day Saturday, xmas shopped later that day, stayed all night with the parents, then got up, went back home, cleaned house, then went back to my parents with my DB for a little birthday bash! But it was great, needless to say, and I handled the "food" thing quite well for once. I think I'm 45 mentally, and just 24 physically, and you know, i'm cool with that! LOL Wow, i'm too tired. LOL
Tracy-That's great that your DH expressed that! That made me feel good just reading it!
Kat-How was the shopping? Planning is a major trigger for me too, and if something deviates from my plan, it all goes downhill.
Chris-Do you like the movie Blade with Wesley Snipes? I can't wait till Triology comes out this week, I love vampire flicks in December! Keep your head up
Ladies, I'm def. off to bed, Sweet Dreams to you all!
Love
Vanessa

I'm not for sure if I'm in the right thread or not. This is the only one with today's date so I'm here. I'm also part of the SB forum. BUT I'm a binge eater. I go for days sometimes a couple of weeks or so and then WHAM! I spin out of control and binge eat like crazy. Thought I was the only one around who does this. Posted it on my SB forum but no one obviously shares or knows what it's like to feel so out of control at times. I've been binge eating since yesterday. Big quanities of terrible foods. I'll eat until I feel sick and then still eat some more. Truly sick. No self-control. Why do I do it to begin with and then continue when I no I'm just hurting myself?!! Tomorrow, I know I will get back on track with my SB and my eating, exercise. But how long will it last? I don't want to keep doing this! I've done so good and I've come so far to do damage like this. A brief summary on my history--I'm 28, mom of 2. I used to weigh 278 at my heaviest a couple of years ago. Slowly I've lost down to 159, right now I'm probably around 165? Not for sure, too scared to weigh-in right now. I'm just tired of this cycle. I would love to have total control over my binge-eating. I don't want to do this again. I feel so bad when I do.

(((Laurie))) - you're in the right place. We're all works in progress, and don't have all the answers, but may I suggest that one step in the right direction would be to figure out what's triggering you. You've had so much success, and congratulations on that - but is there something you're afraid will happen if you reach your goal?

Geneen Roth has books on this subject - discovering the psychological issues we have with our bodies. You might want to look her up at your library.

I can tell you for myself, that I'm afraid my marriage will end if I get thin. On a deep level, it seems easier to stay fat and be stuck than to work on our issues (but yes, Kat, things are better!)

Stick around, and post some more!

Hi Laurie! You sound so much like me! I also have a huge problem with binges. I know stress triggers mine but I know when I start back on the birth control pill that first week I have no willpower to stop them. Then after the first 7 days of pills I am much better. ( which leads me to think the hormones have a HUGE part in this) Does anyone else notice anything like that? I hestitate switching pills because I finally found one that doesn't give me headaches. I also try and come here when I get the urge to eat everything that cant get away from me. Just knowing we have support is so helpful! If anyone gets the urge to binge look me up on AIM maybe we can talk each other thru it! Hugs Kelly

Hey everyone

I haven't posted here for a while, life has been so damn busy I just can't seem to keep up. I feel like I am stumbling through each day. Nights seem to be the worst for me... I usually don't eat all day then night time rolls around, fiance's asleep, baby's asleep, I'm all alone and procrastinating on my chores yet again... So I lose hours upon hours binging, purging, twiddling my fingers and smoking my brains out... terrible thing, but the only way I can really stop myself from binging is to smoke. Go figure.

Well this weekend my DD and I are headed to B.C. with my dad to visit the family. I am very excited. Although Friday night we are planning on going to our family's favorite restaurant where they serve heaping plates of spaghetti, jojos, chicken, meatballs, salad, etc... And I have to try REALLY hard not to go off the deep end with stuffing my face. Because I'm sure some of you can appreciate this... when you get to the point of being SO full you are in pain, you will practically kill someone if you cant purge. BUT, my dad knows that in the past I had an ED, so I MUST NOT purge this weekend. I just know he will know then my cover will be blown.

You know what would be really great... if they could open up a chat room or something like that for all of us to go to to find some more 'immediate' support when we need it. The AIM idea sounds good but, alas, I don't have AIM. If anybody else has MSN and would like to chat there, let me know and we could exchange emails through PMs.

My goal for tomorrow:
To get the laundry done, work on some Christmas presents, and maybe clean the bathroom so I could take a relaxing bath for the first time in ages. I think it's time for a little self-renewal. I also need to give myself a good kick in the *** to get myself on track and quit wallowing in self pity. Anybody who's willing to do the honors of ***-kicking, let me know. I know the busier I keep myself the better I will do.

Cheers everyone! Take good care...

Sounds like everyone is in the right place. Welcome! Sorry I have been so busy I haven't had a chance to start the new thread (someone go ahead and get it done). Working hard on recovery ODAT hope to post a longie tommorow!

Chris