Jessica, That is funny. It sounds like something my dad would have done when I was young. haha The things Jay had to endure when we met. Of course now they like him better than me. They think he is my fathers long lost son. At our wedding Dad went up to Jays Dad(who hates me by the way) and said "We told him not to do it but he wouldnt listen." I was like thanks alot Dad, they hate me as it is.

I made a big Turkey dinner for supper tonight. I sent all the dark meat and a plate of fixings up to Jay's grammie.

Other than that not a darn thing going on here today. I had to work of course. I almost ripped into a honeybun but luckily Jay didnt cut any extra.

Btw how long is Noelle gone for? Are Cal and her staying the same amount of time? Well guys I am so tired....I cleaned for about two hours today. And still have more to do, it never ends, oh well life, right ? Good Nighty Night! Julie

I ended up making warm cherry turnovers in egg roll wrappers. I tried baking some but the wrapper didn't get soft/cooked enough so those ones ended up in the garbage. I gave in and fried a few of them. Oh my goodnes - yummy yummy yummy. Little bit of powdered sugar on top. The cherries were fat free and egg roll wrappers only have 0.5 for 3 of them which is way good but of course then there is the oil. How much do you think one of them soaks up? I'm afraid to find out.

Julie - If you are free you can always come clean my house for 2 hours too!

good night girls! - Jessica

Hey everyone.. I am checking in. Sorry I was absent all weekend, but I guess I am just getting down. I had the girls all weekend, and we tried to stay busy.... I am hoping to find out more out my ex's situation this week. He told me over the weekend, the cat scan showed not only the spot on his lung, but there is another spot on his liver. I had called his stepmom last week and told them what was going on... steven has been estranged from his parents for almost a two years... well, his dad called him, and now I think they have made up for the most part. His dad is coming down this weekend to see him, and he will be able to see the girls too. His dad also wants him to move down to Beaumont, TX so they can help him out. Steven is waiting for the results from the doctor before he makes any decisions. I told him I would prefer him to stay here so we can both be around the girls, however, if he has to go to Beaumont, if it is possible, I will let the girls go live with him during this time so he and they can spend some time together. I am not sure how that would work, and I definately do not want to let them go... but I am trying to think of what is best. They need to have memories of their dad, and he needs them right now too to make him fight this thing.

I haven't exercised... I was hoping to get my treadmill this weekend, but my ex didn't go get his furniture (and my treadmill) from storage in TX. His dad wanted him to wait, until he came down. I guess once Steven figures out what he is going to do.. then I might get it then.. if I can find someone with a truck to drive down to TX with me to pick it up. I didn't eat very well either this weekend. I didn't over eat, which is a good thing, but what I did eat, wasn't healthy. I am a stress eater... and it's really showing.

I had to force myself to come in here... I am sorry.... I am feeling a little overwhelmed... I wish I had time to go exercise everyday, where I didn't feel like I was leaving the girls. If I go at night.. then I have to leave my apartment building and go to the building next to it to exercise... I live on the third floor, and I just don't like leaving the girls alone while I exercise for 30 minutes. (I've done this a few times after they went to sleep) but I don't like it. That is what I was looking so forward to get my treadmill into my bedroom.. then I would have access there and not leave the girls alone. No matter how safe I think it is.

Oh well... I haven't had a chance to read the posts.. so I will go back and do that soon.. I just wanted to check in! I'm still here!

Cherie

{{{Cherie}}} I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now. I wished there was something I could do to make you feel better. Keep coming here. We will listen and at least be the shoulder to cry on when you need us,Okay?

Jessica, Have you tried to make a pie dough with a smidge of the lard it calls for? I have done it. It isnt as flaky as a greasy pie dough but it does well in a pinch. When I make my sticky buns I omit all the grease and use skim milk in place of the cream and although they dont look as good as the regular ones they definately taste as good.

Kempy, I have got $170.00 in my plane ticket fund. I hope we can do this. I am excited for it.

Well, My eating this weekend sucked. I didnt eat out or anything but I did put sweets in my mouth that I didnt need. I am trying so hard to be good today but I cant get my *** to work out. That bugs me so bad.

I hope everyone can check in today.

OK... Well, I now have incentive to kick my butt into gear. My friend Alan invited me this morning to go to Vegas with him the first weekend in November. If I can get my ex to keep the girls (it's his weekend anyway) then I am going... nothing like a free trip huh? hahaha.. :-) OK.. maybe I can make this motivation work.

Thanks Angie for the encouraging words... I'm just having a tough time dealing with what MAY happen. I don't want my girls to end up without a father.... I don't care for him, but he is a great dad and loves them very much.

OK.. back to work here.... talk to you guys later! :-)

Cherie

Cherie - I can't imagine what you are going through right now. It sounds like you do the same thing that I do - torture yourself with all the what if's. It's very strong and selfless of you to think of what is best for the girls even if it means letting them move away for a while. My 16yr old step daughters' mother and sister live in eugene, Or. which is over a 5 hour drive. We have become experts on taking the train. It knocks the trip down to a little less than 2 hours. I know she misses her family and so we let her go down as often as school permits.

Angie - I'll try the pie dough next time I have a craving. It seems to be gone for now and hopefully won't resurface for a loooong time.

Julie - you are right - gaining 10lbs in nothing! But if it was swapped around where it was really easy to lose weight and really hard to gain weight then being fat would probably be the acceptable thing and what everyone was striving for. People always seem to want what they can't have or what is hardest to achieve. At least I know I do.

I have a membership at curves. I paid for an entire year at one time in hopes that it would motivate me to keep going so I wouldn't waste my money since I can't get it back. That worked for about a month and now almost 5 more have gone by without me going at all. At the same time I got the membership I threw away my scale. For 2 reasons: #1 they have a scale there and do monthy weigh ins for you #2 I'm a scale addict and was jumping on a 3:00 in the morning after I went to the bathroom just to see if it would make a difference. Not such a healthy habit. But now it's been over a week and I'm getting discouraged because I don't know if what I am doing is even working. I could be depriving myself for nothing. So after all of that rambling my point is that I'm planning on returning to the gym hopefully by tomorrow to not only work out but to weigh myself and congratulate myself on my loss (I'm thinking optimistically).

Have a good day ladies - I'll be checking in!

Hey guys, Sorry I have been away for a few days. I had a garage sale Saturday and I vegged all yesterday. I had a long list of things to do today and I am just now getting time to read the posts.

Cherie I think that is great that you are going to let the girls go to TX. My hubby works in Beaumont on a regular basis. It would be neat if you were over there. I could ride over with him and we could hang out.

Angie I don't have a certain time for you to come down. When ever everyone wants to plan it is good with me. I don't care as long as we all get to hang out.

Jess I don't have any ideas for desserts. I usually cave and eat the bad for me ones. In fact I was left alone all weekend with a big bag of M&M's. Plus TOM is around so I had many handfuls of them.

Julie I hate to hear that you are still having problems. I wish I was closer so I could hang out with you. Since I am home right now I have to find things to fill me days. I really should be studying but I don't want to. I am just enjoying my days home right now. There will be plenty of time to study.

Ok, I have to run do a few things around the house. I will check back in later.

Does anyone know when our guitar rocking Noelle will be home . I miss her all ready. I feel like if I don't get here everyday I get no adult contact . Except for hubby, which is like a third child sometimes !! Julie

Hello peoples!!!! I had turkey and stuff fro supper tonight. Leftovers for me. I want to bake something sweet to eat so bad!!!!! Why cant I just be fat and happy????

Kempy, March would actually be perfect for me because we are still in the winter here so it would be cold and we still wouldnt have much work to do. I think Noelle is interested in coming down too. How about you Julie? Anyone? I can see us all getting rowdy and having fun together.

Not much happening for me today. I am sitting here trying to talk myself into going into the kitchen and doing dishes. YUCK!!!

Good Morning!! Geesh, this cold just wont leave. Saturday I felt like poop and then Sunday I felt great until the evening...Today I feel worse than I did all last week. My throat is scratchy now and my nose is stuffed. YUCK!!! You would think it would keep me from overeating wouldnt ya!!!!!! NO LUCK!!!

Angie are you getting some vit. C in you? Joe and I have had good results with Zinc before. You can find it at any grocery store. That might help you too. I hope you feel better soon. I know it sucks when you feel bad.

I am waiting for a mom of one of my friends from high school to get here. She is going to make some drapes for our back windows. The really big ones. I am tired of spending money on the power bill. Since they cleared the lots next to us the unit runs more. I guess I took the tress for granted. We planted some but it will be a few years before they start to help with the utility bill. Our bill went up $30 since last years same month.

Ok, I need to get off and straighten the house before she gets here. I will check back in later.

Hey everyone... I am here... didn't have a great dinner last night.. but didn't overeat either. No exercise. And no trip. I am going to post what I posted to my November Mom's board (its a group of mom's who I met back in 1997 when I was pregnant with Hannah, and we were all due in November.. and we are all still friends.. the group had dwindled but there are still about 30 or so of us.) I just didn't want to have to retype it all. I don't know what is going to happen with Steven and his treatments so I had to tell my friend that I couldn't go to Las Vegas cause I don't know anyone around here that can help me out with the girls. So.. here is my update:

Well.. I don't know where to start... He isn't doing well. He had the cat scan last Wednesday, and as of Friday, he hadn't heard from his doctor. He did talk to the tech who did the scan and he said he saw not only the place on his lung, but another place on his liver. That stressed me out this weekend.. If it's on his liver, then it could be in his lymph nodes.
He and his dad haven't talked for almost two years... they had a falling out back during his last treatments, and I feel it was due to the medications he was on, having major mood swings. He was a little violent and very quick to erupt. He has held a grudge against them ever since, thinking they were trying to take the girls away from him. (At that point, because his situation was so bad then, I let the girls live with him. He mistook his step mom's concern for the girls and calling me to come get them for her wanting to totally take the custody away from him and they take the girls. Which of course was WRONG, however, when you are on all the medications like he was, no wonder he wasn't thinking clearly).

I called his step mom last week, I have been keeping in touch with her since I have felt it was wrong for Steven to keep the girls away from them. We were bidding our time until the divorce happened, and then I was going to allow them to see the girls again. Anyway.. I told her the latest on his condition and she had his dad call Steven. Thankfully, I think they have made up and he is going to be driving up here this weekend to see Steven and the girls. He is wanting Steven to move down to Beaumont, TX (where they live now) so they and his dad's family can help take care of him. What is keeping him here is the girls and he does have insurance this time with his job.

I called him yesterday, and he had seen his doctor... the doctor wants to start radiation ASAP. He said the spot on the liver was the shell of where the cancer was two years ago, and that all that is left was the dead tissue after they had treated it, so that was a non issue. However, the tumor in his lung needed immediate attention. He is meeting with his doctor today to plan out the treatments and to get his body marked on where they are going to give him the radiation. I am expecting him to start radiation on Wednesday.. but I am not sure. On Thursday, he is going in for an MRI for his brain. His doctor is concerned because he has mentioned having blurred vision and some memory loss problems.

The doctor said they would do a "TEST" of ten radiation sessions... see if helps.. and if it does, I think they will continue. If it doesn't, I am not sure what the next step will be.

He will have the girls this weekend, but I am not sure how much longer he will be able to do that. I am going out of town the first weekend of November, but now it looks like I will have to cancel that trip. My family here won't be in town, and it looks like he won't be well enough to take care of them. I was looking forward to the trip, but not much I can do at the moment.

He isn't working right now, the doctor hasn't released him to go back yet. He is getting his paperwork together to start FMLA and is currently on STD. The work enviroment is too stressful, and will only agravate his condition, and because he is on the phone all day, he can't do that job very well, because the tumor in his lung is causing him to have shortness of breath, so he can't talk for extended periods at a time.

It's funny, two weeks ago... things were bad with him... but he was working, functioning and having a close to normal life. We had no clue it would go from bad to worse this quickly.

And I am being selfish.. cause while I know I have NO clue how he is feeling and what he is going through.... I am upset and thinking how am I going to do this alone? I hate having no control over my life. This really sucks.

Anyway.. I will let you know what shows up on the MRI. :-( Keep praying for him... the girls need him.

Thanks for reading... I'll be back later. :-(

Cherie

Cherie my sincere prayers and thoughts are with you, Steven, and the girls. I know you must be so scared of the future especially with the girls being so young. Hugs, I am glad he is going to be with his two little sweethearts this weekend. That will brighten his spirits and give you a little break. Take care and we are all here to listen to you anytime. Hugs

Kempy good luck with the curtains. I hope they turn out for you.

Angie hope you feel better. We had bad colds here about 2 weeks ago.

Well I would type more but I sliced my finger open and it is bleeding through two bandaids. I hope I don't need stitches, I will just tough it out and put pressure on it. I have to leave here in a little while to go get ds from school. I hope he has a good day today. Well my finger is hurting. I will check back later. Julie

Julie maybe you could research how much it would cost and show it to him. Maybe when he sees that it wouldn't be that much he would be ok with it. Does he not like it b/c he has never met any of us? If you want I can call him and reassure him that you will be ok. If he still is unhappy I can just come up there and beat him up.

I took a break from my office stuff. I am labeling my files in here. Since I am going to be running a business I thought I should get myself organized. I see how my old boss did things and I don't want to be like that.