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#16

Wabby , 06-08-2004 12:00 PM

I'm sure you're all tired of my whining about my kids, but I don't like doing it in 3d and this is my outlet for whining. My DS seems to be in loooove again. Problem is he lives at home and he can't seem to get the concept it's not cool to have sleep overs at Mom's house. I tell him he can't have this girl stay the night and he says "OK Mom, I'm sorry, that was really disrespectful". Then he has her stay the night again. I told him this morning that next I would be talking to the girlfriend directly and do my best to embarrass everybody involved. Also, she smokes. Not in my house, but still. Also I worry about DS's drinking volume. He's 21 and legal, but I just don't think he needs to drink every day. Which he does. Several beers every night. He gets up and goes to work every day, but I still worry. He can't move out because his paycheck is being garnished because he moved out of his apartment before the lease was up and his landlord is going after the remainder of the rent payments. Then there is his friend who is living with us. He lost his job so he has no prospects of moving out. His car broke down and is sitting in our driveway. He has no transportation so he hasn't been out looking for work. How long do we keep supporting this kid? DS acts like we're being unkind if we even mention the fact that we'd like this kid to move out. DD is making no movement towards flying the nest either. I'm just so f*ing tired I can't even think straight to figure out what to do with the situation.

I've been comfort eating and I've gained 10 lbs.
#17

Bagzz , 06-08-2004 01:49 PM

wabby wabby wabby!!!! that is SOOOOOOOOo difficult---there has been ALOT in the news lately about 'returning to the nesters" and how difficult it is on the "family"----for sure they must all realize how great they had it after having to fend for themselves------the kid who is staying with no "prospects" needs to take a taxi into town and get himself a job-----that boggles the mind!!!!!
#18

Kiwonk , 06-08-2004 05:24 PM

As the Mind Wanders
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lohani
HI all,
I think I a finished with work for the year. DD has finals, so she's only there for two hours per day. She started her job yesterday, she 's a cashier at the local supermarket. I get a 10% discount. Yipeeee~!!!!!!!!

I am wiped by college prices. We are looking and I am afeared. DD wants to be a psychologist or psychiatrist. $$$$$$$$$$$$$ Last summer, at Children's Hospital the residents were saying that most places reccommend a double major in Nursing/biology for the undergraduate degree. This allows them to make decent money while in grad school and puts them in a decent place for getting into med school. We'll see. I can't picture her with a bed pan.
Excellent about the grocery discount! What a deal, she works, you shop! I worked in a supmarket the summer after my senior year; I don't remember getting a discount. They probably neglected to mention it to me... They gave me all the day old doughnuts and pastries I could carry, though.

My dd is interested in psychology too, though so far she claims not to want to go into medicine. I can see the advantages of getting a nursing degree before you go for a graduate degree, but that's not an easy road. I keep thinking of the nurse on ER who finally got her medical degree after 6 jillion years. How about combining a medical tech course with biology? Still a good money maker, still lots of medical experience, but not as demanding as a nursing degree.

Only a couple of years ago, I was not worried about dd's college expenses. We had lots of savings earmarked for her, and we were living well within our means. Since dh spent 9 months out of work, then got a job for so much less than before, he has become a total schizophrenic about money, as I believe I have mentioned... I still don't think paying for college is going to kill us, although we'll have to use up most of her money before being able to get any financial aid (but that's what it's there for), but I am sure that DH is going to try to steer her in the cheapo direction. He thinks I'm being a snob for not wanting her to be satisfied with a state school. In truth, I don't care where she goes to school, but I do care that she challenge herself and she finally find herself in an environment with people who are her peers. Not with a replica of her high school class, which has a few smart kids and a lot of nice kids, but is mostly unmotivated and barely average. Of the 2 other kids who are almost keeping up with her, one is hoping to study dance and is truly motivated--once she escapes her smothering mother, she will hopefully go far, and the other is a brilliant musician and straight A student whose parents are steering him into technical school. Apparently he wants to be a chef. I mean, no problem, if that's really what he wants to do, but where is the intellectual challenge? I guess I am a snob, but I don't care. I think if someone has exceptional gifts, they should be encouraged to do great things with them, not guilted into saving their parents' money (speaking only of us; I don't presume to know what other people's situations are). DH and I are a complicated combination -- he had no encouragement from his parents, they were very proud of him, but they didn't help at all--he got into college and paid for it all on his own. On the other hand, I got a totally free ride because of my parents' divorce: my father was responsible for paying for my college education and my mother was only too happy to see that I went to any $chool I wanted. For his part, I was the first of his kids to go to college, and since he always believed money grew on trees, even his own , he encouraged me to go anywhere I wanted too.

How I do go on... I'm having chicken satay sticks for dinner. Aren't you impressed?

Kiwi
#19

Kiwonk , 06-08-2004 05:43 PM

Hey, Wabbit, maybe it's time for you to move out. I'm sure it's crossed your mind. You guys sound just like the Osbornes! Well, not exactly. But sort of! Maybe you could have a local TV channel do a reality show of your house. Make you a little money on the side. Oy.

I started writing that post above several hours ago and got sidetracked (who me? sidetracked?), so I had to post it before I replied to more recent posts.

What I remember from moving back in with my parents is how awful it was and how I couldn't wait to get out again. My step-father was back to treating me like a 10 year old ("why are you buying more records?") and I bickered with my mother all the time. Obviously you haven't tried hard enough to make their lives miserable, Wabbit. Get out the They are certainly making yours unpleasant. Oh well, good luck. And vent all you want, you know that's what I do here too.

I went to the video of the hockey game, Bagz -- that was cool! Did you videotape the TV coverage so you could get a good picture of it?

Kiwi
#20

Wabby , 06-08-2004 07:23 PM

Oh but Kiwi, you vent all the wonderful things your DD is doing. Not that my kids aren't wonderful. They are in their own twisted way. DD is absolutely hilarious and has a great sense of humor. DS is very loving, and pretty darn funny too. They apparently both love their parents because they sure don't want to leave us. DH and I have talked and we both agree that the first thing that needs to happen is to ease DS's friend out of our nest. I don't exactly know how that will work, but I'm thinking we need to give him a definite move out date. Until that date he will be welcome to stay, but after that date he will have to find other accomodations. I'm thinking I could probably stand it until August 1st. That would give him 6 weeks to come up with a plan.

Lush, I've never heard of discounts for working in grocery stores! What a great bonus for you! Much better than a job at the mall in some trendy clothes store where she would buy clothes. A grocery discount! that's something a mother can be happy about.

Back to the kid problem ---- DH told me things will get better. I'm going to hold him to that.
#21

Cowpernia , 06-09-2004 11:32 AM

Iknow you all have interesting things to say that I should respond to (like church tax!!) but ....... I'm at work and just here to say that DS and I went to Tallerhassey yesterday to see Rasputina. They are so good. Talented. Distinctive. Melodic. Loud. now I have to go work. Bye.
#22

Wabby , 06-09-2004 11:53 AM

I just remembered something my Doctor told me would help with Sugar's delicate problem. She said try taking 1 ibuprohen, 3 times a day, for 3 days starting 2 days before the first day of your ( . ), I never could keep that close a watch on that kind of thing, then I could never remember to take the Advil 3 times a day.
#23

Kiwonk , 06-09-2004 12:02 PM

Did you get that in writing from DH, Wabbit? Good luck with the Aug. 1st deadline -- you are very patient to let him stay!

It's summer here suddenly. Hot and sticky already. It always gets that way the last week of school/the week of dance recital. Every year we go to the packed auditorium to watch the recital and sweat for 3 hours--and that's just the audience! Too bad they can't afford to a/c the place. This year we are adding in a sweaty couple of hours at the music recital. They usually have that at a church in their town, which was pretty comfortable, but they have their own building for performances now that they've been renovating bit by bit. I think we will be sitting on folding chairs and craning our necks to see. And sweating. Maybe I'll keep a cooler of bottled water in the car this weekend.

Gotta get my kitties ready for their vet check up. At least I will accomplish one thing today...

Ta

Kiwi
#24

Kiwonk , 06-09-2004 12:08 PM

Rasputina! Yay! We are very jealous!

Wabbit, that is interesting -- is that supposed to lower the flow? Or just make you feel better? I don't pay enough attention either, but it might be worth it.
#25

Wabby , 06-09-2004 06:09 PM

Supposed to lower flow.
#26

Kiwonk , 06-09-2004 08:29 PM

I'm all for that. Unfortunately, by this time next month, I will have forgotten about it.

Can anyone see the font I put in here? I guess you'd have to have it on your computer for it to show up.
#27

SugP , 06-10-2004 01:53 AM

I can only see giant pink letters, Kiwi. What's the font called?

Interesting about the ibuprofen, Wabby. I may have to try that. Just figured out that I should get that special surprise again on the day when I have to sit in an airplane for 9 hours. Thank you SO much, Mother Nature.

Wabby, sounds like it's time to make up a written contract for all the "kids" and hold them to it. I'm sure they don't mean to take advantage, but they are and you are just so sweet to put up with it all. I lived with my parents after I graduated from university and before I got married, but I had a job, did my own laundry and I didn't smoke in their bed. My brothers were in an out too at various times too. My middle brother actually lives with my parents now, and he's 38. He owns a third of their house, though, so I guess he can do what he wants.

Did Pilates yesterday. Still flabby. Saving up for the abdominoplasty.

Oh yeah, anyone had LASIK eye surgery and lived to tell about it? It's so expensive here but I'm seriously considering it. Tired of being blind as a bat.
#28

Bagzz , 06-10-2004 06:36 AM

my sweet brother in law {the one we lost} spent his life in thick glasses ------ he had the Lasik surgery when it was fairly new and HE WAS THRILLED!!!!--- it think he thought it was one of the best things he ever did---it was so amazing to have him NOT wearing glasses at all ,he ended up having better vision than most of us!!!-----This was at least six years ago,so things must be even better now!!! {that is my only connection to your question Sugar----- i have no shares in the company!!}
#29

Wabby , 06-10-2004 02:17 PM

Sugar, my sister had it done about 6 months ago. She had some complications, but it all turned out fine. She had it done, had 20/20 vision, but after a month or two her vision started to decline a little. She went back in for a revision, which was a little more painful than the original surgery. Anyhoo, all turned out well and she has 20/20 vision now. She says it was the best thing she ever did for herself. I went in for a consult, but because I have glaucoma, dry eye syndrome and thinning of the corneas from long time contact lens use, they turned me down as a candidate. Dang. Sugar, have you ever considered having Lasik done when you visit Vancouver? You should check out the prices there, or in Seattle. Might be worth having it done there.

I've been continuing my eat-a-thon.

I've been trying to whip my house into shape over the week so I won't be in a panic on Saturday when I host Bunco. I don't know what I'm thinking. It will all have to be redone on Saturday anyway. Menu is Quiche, Fruit w/ cream cheese dip, spinach salad, chips and peach mango salsa and lemon lush for dessert. (Not low cal, Bagzie, the baaaad stuff).
#30

Cowpernia , 06-10-2004 04:06 PM

1. I did not see the font.

2. Sugar, I don't remember anything like what you're experiencing. Tapering off is what I think happened to Peachbod.

3. DS started his job this week. He smiles when he gets off and he smiles when I see him at lunch. I believe he's being petted by all the women in that office. He went to work today in his polo shirt with the Academic Team logo on it. He has never been willing one of these shirts before anywhere ever. He must feel pretty certain he'll get a good response from all his mom-co-workers.

4. Aren't our brilliant kids getting scholarships? Don't scare me.

5. Wabby, you are the best mom ever. I mean it. Life is just a bunch of things one after the other and you handle them with grace. I have no advice, just admiration. I want you for my mom.

6. Speaking of mom's, I ran into my cousin yesterday. DS was with me. The cousin showed little interest in DS other than to say he's tall but told me his 17-year-old is making $15 an hour this summer doing construction work in Tallhassee. I asked several times who he's working with, staying with but he never answered. Also told me the boy makes $500 a month doing something for somebody during the school and the dad is having to do it this summer. Moral: Kids who are not going to college have plenty of money to pay for it if they did.

Cousin also gave me a lecture on seeing my mom as much as I can and how she doesn't mean what she says, etc. He's sweet. It just gets old.

7. I need a new scale. This morning I weighed and was up a pound. Weighed later and was down two pounds. Got off and on and up a pound.

This is my plan for loosing weight. I bought a bunch (seven) cute tee shirts (I wear them all the time) and am only allowing myself one out of the bag for each pound that comes on. One is out so far.

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