Morning

Kat- How are things with your MIL this morning?

I saw Alanis Morrisette this morning. She was just radiating health, beauty, and God's love, peace and balance. She has found some recovery, it is a beautiful thing. Now I want that. One day at a time

Chris

Hi guys,

Chris - what is Alanis abstaining from? I think she rocks.

Well, my MIL is doing OK but not as OK as we'd want. She has had some swelling in her brain, on the other hemisphere, which I guess is just a later result of her stroke. They gave her steroids for that. Her eye is black and blue, so she looks roughed up (it's from the sugery). She is still sleeping most of the time and very groggy. Basically we have 24-48 hours to wait ti see how she improves, etc...

We are about to go to my oldest niece's softball game. It's wonderful to have the kids around (3 nieces, 7, 4, and 1). A good reminder that everything does not suck.

Thanks for the well wishes, guys, I appreciate it.

I am reading all of the posts - sorry I am not directly responding all that much. But I am reading and thinking of all of you.

Chris...I noticed that about her, too, when I saw her on TV a few days ago. She looks like she's finally found herself. Gives the rest of us hope, doesn't it?

I'm proud to be able to say that I was abstinent yesterday. One day at a time, chicas.

Good Evening! Did we lose everyone? Where is Ellis?

Kat- Alanis has mostly had problems with anorexia. I think she has gained maybe 10-15 lbs, she looks BEAUTIFUL! And so much more relaxed. Her new song I think is for us chicas

More prayers for your MIL In fact your whole family Kat, be safe and good to yourselves.

Jenelle- ME TOO! Taking it VERY SLOWLY! And I even went to therapy today. I left and I wanted something sweet. Talking about those feelings and things makes me want to freak out. But you know she pointed out that despite some setbacks with food and purging this last week it has been worse, and in some areas I made improvements. Like how about being able to have some intimacy with my husband?

Love you gals!
Chris

I have been beating myself up a lot lately. I am frustrated with myself and am not being kind...calling myself things like "ugly" and "lazy" and "a cow." I feel like I know what to do, but am just too worthless/stupid/lazy to just get off my *** and do it. All I can think of is joining WW, which is totally NOT the answer for me, as it will just make me obsessive and horrible.

I know God loves me, but I am so not loving myself much these days...

(((((((Jenelle))))))))) I know how you feel. This morning I reached out and got a new food plan sponsor. SHE HELPED ME MAKE A GROCERY LIST! As far as loving yourself, I think that waxes and wanes and thats why we have to know God loves us ALL the time

Where is that Ellis?

How are things this morning Kat?

Today my reminder is that it is exactly what is suppose to be
Chris

Right now, I am at a point where I keep thinking that nothing is going to help: not a food plan, not a sponsor, not God, not anything....I feel like the only "answer" is to stop eating altogether. I had a bout like this last year, and it sucked.

I'm just really, really scared. I know I sound like a big fat baby, but this is the only place I can come where people really GET what I'm talking about.

I am coming to the realization that, ultimately, my eating disorder will be what kills me.