deeter,

A size 12 on me would be too skinny. I am 5'6 and big boned. My shoulders are football players shoulders. 160 is the perfect weight for me.

For you I am quite sure it is much lower cause of your height. Point you can't compare me to you. (LIke you didn't know that already). We are 2 different body types. So stop beating yourself up it will only have negative effects on you. (Been there done that). I am 59 so I have been there also.

I would ask my husband if I was bigger then a certain women also. For me it was a wake up call cause I never saw myself that big. Or at a function I would look to see if anyone else was bigger then me to feel more comfortable. Alas most times I was the biggest. I weighted 317 pds at one time.

This past year I have lost 44 pds. Slowly wish it was faster but at least I am down. I am retiring so it is a big motivator to get moving.

Use your son's wedding as a motivator if you can.

Lastly we are getting too old to care about what someone else says. I know it's hard. But we know we have lived most of our life already and I am choosing to live it happy and healthy...

Mary

Understood Mary....but this is totally NOT about what others think or say...it's about ME!!! It's so tough what we do to ourselves! I've never met a man who obsessed like this! AN,d yes, for the wedding...this is truly a wonderful event and I am going to focus on my son and NOT me!!! Easier said than done! Thanks for your input

just me again....having a crappy day. Not only do I struggle with who I am, but to compound it all I have hashimoto's syndrome. This takes it's toll on me emotionally and physically. So, today I'm just struggling. Normally I can keep my mind on the positive side but today it's not working so well.
Oh well...tomorrow is a new day!

Hello all,

I wanted to address the anger issues. I don't struggle with anger as much as I do depression. I noticed once I got into my 50's it's like I became invisible. That is what I find to be a bit heartbreaking. Nobody looks at me anymore so with that, and compounded by the "fat" issue, sometimes I feel like why the **** am I even here anymore. I feel ugly and frumpy and no amount of makeup is going to erase 25 years off my face. I divorced after only 2 years of marriage and never remarried so at 58 I have no shot and I know that. Anyway, I just want to vent today. Thanks for listening.

THIS. EXACTLY. I understand ... i could do 50's and be ok, but 50's and this weight thing is too much. I too am single with 2 kids who are almost through college. I should be looking forward to this new phase of my life, but instead I feel like there isn't much to look forward to.

Hi,

I have just joined the forum and I am post 50......*does cartwheel badly*.

Just feeling a bit blue and fat and....fat...and...oh yeah...fat!

I am on the Dukan Diet and 3 days in and I am ready to tackle the weight issue (again).

Wanted to say 'hi' and also wonder if people may want to support each other as we all do the weight loss and try not to give up?

XE

I'm so glad I found this forum! I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired... and FAT... and felt it would be helpful to have others in the same predicament to help me stay motivated to get off my butt and do something about my weight. I'm 58 years old, 5'3", and weigh 160 lbs. For the first 40 years of my life, I was underweight to the point people made fun of me, so I felt like I needed to gain weight to be accepted by society. STUPID thing to do. I had a hysterectomy at age 39 and started packing on the pounds. I could kick myself for not dropping that first 5 lbs. before it multiplied exponentially. I was in a bad marriage then and didn't care about the weight. Now I'm divorced and remarried to the man of my dreams and I want to look good for him. He says I look great to him like I am, but I'm not happy with my size. I have no energy. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, and I cringe at the thought of going into the store to try on clothes that never fit right or look good on me. I've had to accept the fact that I'm older now and my style needs to change somewhat. I used to sew all my clothes, but then got fat and have had trouble finding the "just right" pattern size. I bloat up like the good year blimp with even just a few bites of food. Something has got to give, and I'm finally motivated to get started. What have the rest of you found that works best when you're just starting out? I've started a bullet journal for my weight loss journey. It helps to write down what I eat each day--it's a real eye-opener. I have no will power, so this is going to take some daily motivation. I've also started counting the cups of water I drink each day. That was an eye-opener, too. I was seriously only drinking 2-3 cups of water a day before!!! Yikes! My poor body! Thanks for letting me rant on and on. Nice to "meet" you ladies!

Jumping onto this thread late ... maybe the posters are no longer on this site. But I read every post and can relate. I'll be 57 this February and my sister and I joke that sometimes we are shocked when we catch a glimpse of ourselves in a window because we didn't realize we were aging as much as we are. A woman in her 50s can indeed feel invisible in this society. But we also have far more hutzpah than we ever had in our lives and will say what needs saying far quicker than when we were young. When I was young it bothered me if men leered at me. I didn't mind if they gave me appreciative looks, but I didn't like leering. There's a difference. Then somewhere in my 40s I noticed only older men looked at me. Now I'm in my 50s, I'm completely free of any attention and to be honest, I really love it. I want to be just a human at this point. Weight loss is just for ME ... no one else.

Sometimes I'll drive home from work and wonder if the mostly younger people in my office think it's time for me to retire. But then I tell myself, so what if they do? I'm sailing the ship of my life, not them.

I love your attitude, Follena!

Men my age will still look, but they won't have anything to do with me. But men half my age and twice my age will look twice, but um, no thanks!

Shucks thanks, Oh yeah there's always those ones twice or half our age

Just wanted to point out that that lady you are comparing yourself to is comparing herself to somebody else. We always focus on our short comings. Youre asking am I fatter than her and shes wondering if her nose is too big. We women are way too hard on ourselves. I have never heard a straight man ask do these pants make my butt look fat. 400 pounds and with a pot belly and they will still strut their stuff.

Im a little older than most of you. I will be 70 on my next BD. I have always been taller (5'10") than others my age. In my later years I have met people the same size or taller but they are always younger than me. I don't know what theyre feeding kids now a days but there seem to be a lot of 6' girls around now.

My Mom was also taller than her peers. Both of us were bullied in school and by family for being tall. All the women in our family are short except for us. Some were under 5'. My Mom had self esteem issues all her life. Me I got an attitude. Used to wear 3" heels.

Seriously. I think I am comfortable in my skin because I have never based my worth on my looks. We are all a lot more than our size. Im fat because I over medicated myself with carbs and sweets to help me get thru some rough times. Im losing this weight for me so that I can wear my favorite pants again. I dont give a rats patootie if somebody else thinks Im fat.

nooo

nooo?

Too many women are obsessed with being thin. You've done something right to make it to 50, eh ! Most of your male counterparts are going to be every bit as fat as you !

It's just natural to weigh more at 55 than 25 !

I think it stops with comparing ourselves to other women, and supporting each other while making good decisions.

A friend of mine is a social media influencer in her early 20s, and she looks like what you'd think an influencer in her early 20s looks like: Gorgeous, thin, bright-eyed. And no, she doesn't just look this way through filters. She's genuinely beautiful. That isn't a guarantee of success, even in a field where image is everything. Sure, I'd love to look like her, but I'm not getting there without a passport and a time machine.

I'm a believer that if you want it badly enough, you'll get up and do it. It requires being focused on the goal in your weak moments. When you cave, you get back up. It really is one choice at a time. Yeah, the animal part pf my brain would rather be eating shortbread than writing this post to you, but it's one choice at a time, really.

I don't care what size someone else is, because it does nothing for me. My body, health, and image is what I'm concerned with.