Sounds like there is lots of stress and struggle to go around right now. Can't believe Christmas is a week away.

My weekend sucked, foodwise. I ust bulldozed through mounds of junkfood while chain-chugging cokes, but I also got a TONNE done. I worked from 8am-1am Saturday/Sunday, and then from 8am-10pm Sunday on baking and putting together/wrapping gifts for all of the students in my (small...but still) school. My house is a disaster and I feel exhausted and sugery-gross...but also satisfied. I'm more or less on top of things, though this will be a busy week. My place is empty of junk because I ate the whole world this weekend, and I don't feel compulsive ....fingers crossed that stays that way. I'm trying to cut myself a break about munching on the odd thing or having less healthy choices, while at the same time looking seriously at some danger foods that I can't control myself around right now and considering trying to abstain for a while to reset.

My last big consecutive weight loss started with a month's abstinence from junk food (not including diet pop and chocolate, within reason) and then gradual re introduction of everything...but I just wonder why, sometimes. Why I bothered with the reintroduction. Chips and candy give me nothing, and when I'm out of the habit of eating them, I don't even enjoy them that much when I do have them. It takes a day or three of eating them to start up the cravings that get me beyond the "meh, what's the big deal" phase and make me feel deprived if I can't have them.....I wish a few days eating veggies had that impact. Brains are weird.

The end does feel near, re: the holidays, and I'm not feeling as much animosity as I had been. I'm looking forward to a bit of family time, and then the rest of my holiday by myself, and then jumping into the new year as well. Being able to look forward to Summer goals...with reasonable time for change between now and then...is a relief from the shrinking END GAME window of the year.

Scale said 257 this morning...I can't really have gone up 7 pounds in three days, but maybe I wasn't actually down to 250. Shrug.

LaurieDawn: Thanks for the encouragement. My avatar is actually Agent Carter from the Marvel cinematic universe. She is awesome. Though so is Ingrid Bergman.

no w/i

I ate haystacks yesterday and a soda and I am just not facing the scale this am. Plus I am awaiting the booking of those passes for the day and getting up early has seriously brought my dieting willpower down the funnel of hope. Egads.

Book: Sounds like you accomplished a lot! Do you work with elementary age kids or older? Ah, the junk food, it can trip you up often - well at least me. I told my DH that it was my FILs fault he sent me home w/haystacks and I gnoshed all day on them and he was contributing to my weight gain. My DH laughed at me and said NO.

laurie: I am glad you both talked about the issues at hand. Nothings worse then being accused of things you haven't had in your periphery. Goodness. I hope you both find a common ground and flourish well. Sorry to hear your DD is having a time with upheaval. I have a niece about the same that perpetually says to us aunties how horrid a divorce is on a kid. I don't have experience only on the outside watching nieces and nephews or friends kids go through it. Love her extra and make time for her - she may be a talking lots.

lil: Gallstones? Good gravy gal - what is with you and hospitals right now? I do hope all of that turns out well and you heal easily. Of course, the 6 lb loss would be divine if you didn't hurt so much. Hang in there - may all go well for you and your family.

toasted: Your nose must be to the grindstone getting all your projects done! Pop back in - we need your happy encouragement.

diane: yeah for work almost being done for you! Oh - I know on the weight loss this last month = it's been crazy and hard and a few joyful glimmers of a scale moving. It'd be nice if we could just turn of the need to eat during this time. I was reading what the royals feast on for the holidays - ugh - an awful lot of excess and I could picture them just like Downton where everyone is dressed up and filling up. I will be spending my morning in the car going to my moms 3 hours away. No fancy dress and tiara for me!

Hello all!

AM: As I said, I am awaiting booking time - what a pain that is. Only at certain times if you want something popular. UGH! Its not my favorite place in the world. However, you do things for those you love.

Dieting - HAHAHAHAHA I have been horrid these last few days with sodas and cookies and no walk. Today I will attempt again to fast. I did well w/that portion yesterday and then - I found the haystacks and went to town AGAIN. And had a soda because I was ready to drop over dead with tiredness in the early afternoon. Note to self - stick w/coffee it's less calories and does just fine staining my teeth - and it's warm, so it can make my belly happy.

So today I will try to right the ship- at least for one day. I CAN DO THIS. And if I can get through one day, I can then make it two and so forth. Really now, I'd love to see 219 rolling into 2018. However, will work w/what I have and be happy I am in the 220s.

Happy day all! You can do this too! Ok, putting my cheerleading pompons away now - the short skirt never looked good on me! Happy day!

Bookmark: Good for you for getting stuff done like that! So you had some junk food to make it through. That's in the past, and you can still be happy about the rest of it being done! Take those little victories!! Or big victories!!

Lemonthyme: Darn haystacks! But hey, I hope they were good and you enjoyed them!!

For me, just plugging along. I did go to the gym and lifted weights. I enjoyed the lack of people in the gym today, while recognizing that it will all change soon with the new batch of resolutioners. But that's ok. Some will make it stick and improve their lives! I am considering doing the challenge they have at the gym. Last time I did it, I failed miserably, but I might try it again. We'll see. It is a 12 week challenge.

I have a feeling this year will be ending on the half hearted note for dieting. Geez I have had a good time filling my face these last few days. Yes, I did fast until my allotted time but this afternoon found a soda (I can go long stretches of time w/o it and then I hit it harder than normal, being a can a day which is not good!) and graham crackers and string cheese.

I know part of my problem has been no water and not actually eating a meal - rather just grabbing when I feel like it and not recording it. I am not doing well in that regard. So I hope I can make it at 227 or less into the new year. I get that 219 is a huge gamble to get to by 12/31. So instead my mini goal to the end of the year is to keep it at 227 and if I get a bit less, then I am either maintaining or doing something finally right. AND I am limiting what baking I will be doing between now and then.

Today is not that day - but hopefully tomorrow will be.

Hope you all are finding it easier to get through these days on a good note!

225.6

What a Surprise! I expected to be going upwards or static so to see it came down I’m happy with. That doesn’t mean I’ve been doing good eats wise that needs to be cleaned up. But I did sit down last night and drink 33 oz water which I think can help, I just of late have been grabbing coffee instead of water.

Have a big chunk of my homemade gifts done but I need to get the rest finished. My UPS man came last night at 735. I tried to offer him a soda as he’s been running long hours and I know he has to get back to the local hub and that’s 45 mins one way and then he lives back this way. Maybe he takes the brown truck home. I Would. Anyway a chunk of those gifts got here and need wrapping and hiding untilnthe S man arrives.

Today I’m moving, the kids and I go for flu shots this afternoon. Not a fan of but I lost a relative in the great flu pandemic so long ago and I always have that in the back of my head. They left a large young family with their passing. No thanks, so if I can help prevent some craziness then it helps. Plus w traveling - I don’t need to swap in crazy germs and exacerbate a problem.

So my friends - I hope your scales look good ! And if not in two weeks you can get serious and clear the pantries and counters of sweet treats and join zillions of us as we shop good for you foods and set a new year w good intentions. Funny how a date on the calendar strikes us to do so. Must be the turning over of a new leaf. Hah. I’ll struggle as I have all year thus far, I know well try our best and at some points want to throw in the proverbial towel but if we can get the scales to move downward then we’re doing something for ourselves.

Ok I’m feeling hallmarky on my comments. Must be the movies I’ve watched when I wrap gifts. Anywho - may you all have a wonderful day. I’ll try and do personals later but I need to get my house in order and gifts done. Hope I can!

Happy day all!

Lemonthyme: Nice loss today! Glad to see it!! Also glad you are enjoying your Christmas preparations. I do think that the New Year, although it is just a date on a calendar, is a great time to restart and refresh. Particularly after getting through the indulgences of Christmas!

For me, I went to the gym today to go to Spin. I was expecting the usual Wednesday instructor who is, quite frankly, way too easy and not very challenging. But, she is out for a few weeks and in her place today was one of the really tough ones. That was tough, and I'm glad she was there because it felt good to go through a tough class.

I have a few things left to buy for Christmas and a few things left to bake. I'm looking forward to having those done! I really do like Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but boy am I looking forward to being done with the prep work. Tomorrow is the first day of winter, so the shortest day of the year. I will be happy to see the daylight last longer as we head into January. I know that it isn't noticeable at first, but hey... I'll take what I can get!

LaurieDawn: It’s so easy to get off track during the holidays…ridiculously so. After all, there’s all those goodies around! In a way, my issues have made things so much easier. After all, I have to choose between food and PAIN – that’s a no-brainer. You remain one of my role models! Look at you – that much weight gone! You are in control.

Bookmark: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you craved veggies the way you do chips? I never even thought of that before – what a lovely thing that would be. You know, the bright side to overeating is that now you don’t have any crap food left. Just don’t buy any and you’re golden. But be kind to yourself too. There are always slip-ups during the holidays.

Lemon: Yay on the loss! That’s always a nice surprise! The holidays are always tough. It’s not just the yummy foods – What are Haystacks? – but the busyness of the season. You’re cooking and shopping and cleaning and trying to get stuff done at work ahead of time and running here and there…it seems like it never ends. Then it does and it’s a new year. 

Diane: You go on the gym girl! I was just about to get back to my exercise...darnit...but I guess I have a ways to go before that is back on track now. You and LaurieDawn and your exercise are inspirational.

So…I’m already very tired of being ill. I don’t look forward to surgery – which I think is inevitable given the “packed full of stones” diagnosis – but if I feel better afterward, well let’s go for it! I just hurt everywhere! Literally, head to toe. It sucks.

I actually went to the doctor yesterday because I thought my sinus/bronchitis was back. It’s not. No explanation for why I have fluid on the ears and swollen lymph nodes, but no sinus or lung problems per the Xrays they did…so nothing to stop the surgery. This is both good and bad. I need that surgery, but I need some time to get work done! My office work is SO far behind! No matter what, some of my hearing decisions will be out of timelines sufficiently to be reported to the Director. If I felt well, I’d just stay late every night and come on Saturdays or Sundays and get them done. But I’ve missed SO much work – and then there was taking off for my Suzie and for my FIL and just because I wanted to…if I’d KNOWN I was going to be off a week for surgery, of course I wouldn’t have taken nearly as much time off for other reasons! But it is what it is.  I assume I’ll be given a bit of a break since I will have been off for unexpected illness, but I HATE being behind…which of course stresses me out and just makes me feel worse.

Speaking of which, I suppose I best get moving and get my lovely boiled chicken and rice eaten. Today I have a non-fat yogurt too! I’m walking on the wild side! Then I best get back to work.

Oh – and per the doctor’s scale – I have lost 11 lbs in 5 days!
That sounds so good until you think about it. Really, really not good. Doctor was not happy. I'm just kind of hoping it doesn't come back!

Diane: isnt it funny to run around saying I’m almost done and it takes a few moments and then all of a sudden we move on after all is unwrapped and put away? Well - you and I can keep company as we finish things up these next few days. I got half of my sewing done. I still have to do my puppets and then done!

Lil: good gravy! That’s a nice number loss but I also get why your doctor is concerned. Maybe once all this surgery is done and you are on the mend you’ll keep up the lower cal eating - and yes even embrace the wild side you with your yogurt! Let us know when you go in for surgery and we’ll keep you in thoughts!

Hello all!

Flu shot soon - yuck. But it’s something that might help. Anywho, plowing through the sewing today. I’m down to the last two combined gifts - hopefully that goes together easily to actually make. Then I have some media to burn and those are done and then I need to wrap the s-man gifts. Good Lordy I’m going to enjoy sleep in the new year. However that will probably have to wait until after the trip as I need to sew some outfits for myself but it may not be as crazy to get done. Maybe I’ll be a bit trimmer. Who knows. Tomorrow is another day as that’s for certain.

Happy afternoon. I’m sprinting through mine.

Hey guys, new thread ALLLL THE EXCITEMENT!!! I disappeared I know. Everything got hectic and then I travelled with my friend to her country (which is even more 3rd worldly than mine- I say this with all the senses of self-irony pinging, but yes there’s an official 3rd worldly scale for us 3rd worldly types) on a trip to honor her father and it’s been go-go-go!!! I actually skipped out the last 3 days of work to do this trip but get home on Friday night and do Christmas with my family and then I leave on vacation to Dubai next Thursday for New Year. So it’s a lot of travelling coming up and I’ll try to do better about checking in- I’ve missed you guys so much!

Lemonthyme: Your week sounds hectic! Yay sliding down the 220s and basically keeping on with keeping on. You’re almost at the Christmas finish line! You can do it!

Laurie: heyyy!!! I’m so glad things are looking better with your hubs. Obviously as you say, it’s not like “and you lived happily ever after singing kumbaya,” but it’s good to have honest convos about these things when things aren’t fraught. Yay staying under 160 even with the challenges of the season etc. One must take the wins where one can. You’re always an inspiration to me and I love reading your posts because they’re so real, if you know what i mean. #TLTMAS

Lillion: oh dear about the stomach bug! I hope you’re feeling better. Also can’t believe that darned cough is still bothering you. You and your father in law are in my prayers for health. Sending hugs and healing thoughts your way.

Bookmark: As I believe the only other single person currently active on this thread, I definitely feel you about relationships and it’s good to realize that a relationship or lack thereof has to do not necessarily with how others perceive you but how you perceive yourself, which thankfully, is something you have control over whether by picking yourself up or by working with someone to help you see yourself the way you want to. I don’t know about you but even as a size 6, 120lbs down, I still had hang ups, in fact some even worse than at a heavier weight because I knew what I looked like under clothes compared to what I was advertising IN clothes (not that I advertise but you know what I mean right?). I was also a lot pickier about my body and that’s because I had tied a lot of my worth to what my body looked like. I guess what I’m saying is that you deserve to feel good about yourself and “worthy” whatever size you are because for me, negative self talk just led to depression and to me isolating myself and just completely stole my power to pull myself up by the bootstraps and make the changes I knew I needed to be healthy and achieve the look I was going for. I can relate as it’s still something I deal with today, less with the negative self talk but more with the self-isolation and hermit behavior having convinced myself that I’m not attractive for whatever reasons.

Diane: how goes everything? I’m sending you all the Christmas wishes and thoughts to your family and hoping you’re doing okay.


Okay guys, I’m doing this on my phone and it has opened in the most awkward way that means that I can’t go back and refer to your messages and I’m just trying to do everything from memory and 30 minutes to midnight, being chewed by mosquitoes, hot and sticky even though I just had a bath and holding a conversation with my friend about The Outlander and why I should watch the show rather than read the book as I planned. I have no real goals for tomorrow as I’m currently not tracking, but based on 8 years of calorie counting, I honestly doubt I’m eating up to weight loss calories.

226.0

What the heck?!

Well I will ignore the scale and move a lot today with my shopping. Yeah car unloading up and down stairs. Woot, my favorite - not really.

Toasted: good to see you back! Mosquitos, just reading on this made me glad its winter here. I loathe skeeters. Sometimes they are jokingly listed as the state bird. Dubai - sounds luxurious! of course I’m limited because I only rather recall what the RHOBH were part of - hotel rooms with windows to a huge aquarium, lots of opulence! Enjoy! Will you be traveling w friends? Family? Your love?

Book: did you talk to your mom? I hope you have had luck ignoring the call of tempting foods. I have not had such luck of late w that as it’s been chocolate graham crackers of all evils for me. You wouldn’t think a few sheets would be bad but I guess so.

Diane: good for a pushing instructor. Maybe you will find you feel lots better the next day and want to keep up with it. Sometimes a change like that is good for you! Shakes things up a bit and yet can be good.

Lil: how are you feeling today? Is surgery before end of year? I hope so for insurance purposes for you. And I hope it relieves your pain. Do the stones form from certain foods or just the way you are made?

Laurie: how are you doing? Did you get those kids their permits? How are they behind the wheel?

Hello all!

I’m off to go body shrink today - that’s my hope but probably won’t happen. I’d love to go gnosh on some high fat items but I don’t have any in the house and I’m not stoping by a restaurant on my run to town today and the grocery I’m keeping to just what I need to get me through Christmas and a few things for the suitcase for the big trip and avoiding the fats I currently want.

We can do this!

Happy day all! I hope you all are doing splendid.

Morning ladies.

Well, my scale has stopped moving downward each day...which is a good thing. I'd rather lose 3 lbs and keep it off than 15 and have it all come back.

Toasted, I kind of shook my head at the idea of people in a 3rd world country #1, considering their country 3rd world, and #2, having a scale ranking other countries as more or less 3rd-worldy. Which is probably very 1st world of me. I just assumed people in those countries found it kind of offensive and would never consider their countries that themselves. But you know, I suppose it's a bit like the town I grew up in....tiny, like 200 people...and run down. And we were always like, "Well it may not be much, but at least we don't live down the road in Brumley. It's way worse there." You've been SOOO busy! I feel so lazy. But I swear, when I get better, I'm going to DO things. I don't have a stomach bug. I have to have my gallbladder removed. Very annoying. Pretty painful too. I have to eat a "low fat bland diet". Basically bread and water.

Lemon, no idea when the surgery is. I meet the surgeon this afternoon and he'll schedule it. It would be nice to have it now when my deductible is met...but I suppose if it's in January, I'll just meet my deductible early next year. Might actually be better. As I understand it, gall stones just form. A poor diet - high fat, high cholesterol, low fiber - will contribute because they are formed usually of cholesterol. So if you have high cholesterol - or take Lipitor to control it - it increases your risk. I just fit into SO many of the risk factors; female, over 40, obese, sedentary, poor diet, Lipitor. There are many other factors too, heritage, family history, diabetic, rapid weight loss, estrogen therapy drugs, liver problems, that I don't fit into. Most people walk around with gallstones and don't even know it. Having only a few small ones doesn't hurt you unless they try to get OUT of the gallbladder. That's when it hurts...lots.

Okay...that ends to medical lecture.

I've got nothing to report today. Just getting to work and trying to be caught up enough to not have real issues when I miss it after the surgery. My boss is getting even more antsy than me...trying to schedule work and not knowing when I'm going to be gone. She's actually being pretty good about it...but comeon! It's not like I did this on purpose!

Later ladies -

Lilion: Ugh on the sickness!! That's awful! Hopefully things will start getting better for you soon. I know that it probably doesn't help to have the worry of work, too. Enough to make you crazy!!

Lemonthyme: Yeah, it gets so crazy before Christmas and then it is over. I think that's why I don't love it. I just don't like all of the hectic prior to the big day. I failed pretty miserably last night when I went out shopping. Couldn't find anything I liked. I'll try again tonight at a different store. Oh boy!

Toasted: So funny that you are battling mosquitos and being hot/sticky, and we just had a snowstorm push through today! Glad you posted, it is always good to hear from you!

As for me, it was a little challenging driving into work today. I still went to the gym, but the snow made me take quite a bit longer. Oh well! I did get a workout in, but it wasn't as much as usual. I am not a huge fan of snow, but we have been so dry for so long, it is good to see it. It was pretty this morning. I'll probably try to go to Spin tomorrow. I think our storm is moving out, so it should be fine in the morning.

I'm ready to have some time off from work. I still have tomorrow to work, but most of my stuff is done, so I'm working on other people's emergencies. I don't mind helping out, but I'm getting tired. I want to be at home!!!!

Toastedsmoke: I know I have the ability to feel good about myself regardless of size. It was a biggish realization for me that it's not the size that makes me feel unsexable, but the things that often contribute to the size - depression and binge eating. I'm feeling very down today and wondering if I'm hormonal. The dude I mentioned semi-crushing on was urging me to come to the staff party tonight but I didn't go. I was exhausted and in full sugar hangover mode, and then my headlights died. So I just came home and ate. I've been binging all week. Bleh.

Was going to head up to my parents' tomorrow after work but will now wait until Saturday on account of the headlight situation (I can't be bothered to change them out tomorrow). I would like to be feeling better, physically at least, before I have to embark on the family holiday thing, and am hoping that will motivate me through a better day tomorrow.

225.6

Probably would have been something different but DH brought home a pizza (thin crust) and of course I had some which I probably shouldn’t have - but I’m glad the scale is still moving down some duringhis time. Now if only I can move and get things done, I still have my projects to finish but sitting and watching tv was more where it was last night for me. Sometimes a good veg is what is called for to do battle later.

I’m up and ready to tackle today extra early - it snowed most of yesterday so the outside world is a tad pretty this morning. It was those huge big white fluffy flakes that cling nicely to trees. It’s suppose to get in the zeros this weekend and with low digit highs, should make traveling fun - that means layers and boots, snow pants and blankets get hauled with in case of car trouble. I live in the boonies traveling to more populated areas and with kids I’ve always got to carry the extra just in case.

Diane: isn’t it the way it is? My house is a disaster and no one else seems to see that, I’m still running like a chicken w my head cut off trying to finish up gifts and baking and cleaning. I enjoy Christmas usually, but this year just feel so far behind. Will your kids be joining you or are you trekking to their homes? When’s the end of your holiday challenge?

Book: I hate when headlights go out. Mine always happen with time change, unsure why, but it does.

Toasted: what are some of the things you’ll do and visit in Dubai?

Lil: that list sounds horrible! Especially when a drug can prompt excess side effects. Makes you wonder why they produce these type of things I guess more benefit then risks? But who decides how benign the risks are?. I take a maintenance med and my insurance would prefer I keep w the generic, so I buy total out of pocket for the name brand because the generic doesn’t work for me at all. In fact I get worse and develop crappy symptoms on everything it’s to prevent from happening. Sad thing is the name brand has been around for 50-60 years andbyoud think by now they’d have figured out the patent vs cost vs crappy generic.

Well I wish you well getting everything scheduled and that your bland diet improves! And you can enjoy some of your holiday fixings you enjoy. Will you be able to partake in any? Are you with family again? Or just you and DH?

Hello to all! Enjoy these last few days of craziness in the readying. I’d love to say I’m like one of those hallmark movie moms that has everything done early and everything looks good. My house and my thoughts feel like mayhem, but my kids are happy, the tree and house are decorated and I know I can do the other - I used to before kids, everything ready and looking good. Maybe one day I’ll get back to that too! Alas - it’s like my weight - always a work in progress. Hang in there all! Wishing you a stupendous end to the year.

Well, here we are finally. I'm on my last work day of the year since we are closed next Monday and Tuesday, and I took off Wednesday through Friday. So ready to have some time off.

That said, I wanted to let you know that I will probably not be here daily until January 2nd. I'll check in when I can. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and we'll all have a happy new year!! I'm going to be ready to hit it hard! I have some planning to do and I'll be ready to go. I've got high hopes for the new year and I think we have an awesome group here. We can help each other have some successes!!!

Lemonthyme: I'm done with the challenge. I'm not going to make it. I had planned to take it through December 31st, so whatever works for you!!