Don't despair. I know this feeling well. I can't tell you how many wagons I've fallen off of. If there's a wagon involved in the process then I've fallen off it. I don't know of a single person who has not fallen off that darned wagon.

Abstaining from foods is a very controversial issue. It's a tempting idea in theory but it's very difficult to do forever. For someone like me if you tell me not to eat cake the very first thing I want to do is eat cake, so this tactic cannot and will not work for me, my cravings get too intense when I tell myself not to have something (and this has resulted in ALOT of weight gain over the years).

I felt exactly the same way, that I cannot overcome this food thing. But I am, slowly and surely I am getting better and better. I take a step back every once in a while but my binging has reduced significantly, and I've been at this for almost 8 months, the longest I've ever done anything successful and consistently.

My problem with OA is that the person has to abstain from foods. It makes you a victim on the verge of falling off the wagon for the rest of your life. It gives a lot of power to food which is an inanimate object. Food already played such a superior role in my life, I can't fix this problem by creating more and more and more control, control is what got me this problem to begin with. OA and IE are completely at odds with each other. So if you want to try IE you have to let go of the restrictions, you named a ton in your post. Doing IE is like jumping off a cliff, you can't do it just halfway, it won't work. You gotta jump.

thanks for your post wannabeskinny. Congrats on 8 months that is great. It has been my longest as well dealing with OA, about 6 months(with almost 2 months of completely stalled weight loss which I'm surprised I have not gone back full time to eating) From the very beginning of my OA experience I was conflicted about what to do for food. My first sponsor was one that did not follow meal plan so I was kind of eating intuitively. I noticed during this time that there are foods I genuinely don't think I can eat in moderation and are too associated with bingeing for me. But then I tried another sponsor who was very strict meal plan, cutting out sugar,wheat,sweetners,weighing and measuring and that didn't suit me either.. I feel like certain combinations definitely trigger me, like high salt/fat(fast food type of stuff) not necessarily 1 food group alone. The other thing I was stuck on was whether I should snack or not. part of me feels snacking in between meals is similar to eating compulsively, but a binge eating therapist I saw once recommened eating 2 snacks a day/every 3-4 hours which I am not sure if that is too much......It's all so confusing. I will look into Intuitive eating though, is there a particular website that you find helpful for a beginner?

I don't blame you for being confused. You've put your trust in others, hoping that they have some kind of answers about what you should eat, when you should eat it, how much you should eat, you're even letting someone else decide whether or not you should be allowed to eat a snack. You're feeling powerless about a function of your body that should work on its own without someone intervening. Imagine if you put yourself on a pee diet. You were only allowed to go to the bathroom at a rate and intervals dictated by someone else. You were only allowed to pee a certain amount but no more. After years of that you wouldn't know when to pee unless someone told you to go do it. Alright I'm exagerating but the truth is, eating is personal and individual to your body, nobody should have a say in what you should eat and when.

A very good intro to the concept of IE is the Overfed Head. It used to be free on pdf but now it's not anymore, it looks like you can buy it for 1cent though. http://www.amazon.com/The-Overfed-He.../dp/0974654205 Other books that are really helpful are Intuitive Eating, Overcoming Overeating. There are very helpful youtube videos by Josie Spinardi. And there is the intuitive eating thread here on 3FC.

A good start to IE is mindful eating. It was very helpful to me when I started. I spent so much time eating fast during my binges, hiding evidence of eating and hating myself while binging that I wasn't even tasting my food anymore. With mindful eating it made me slow down and really start tasting my food. It helped me understand that eating shouldn't be a punishment either in binge form or diet form. Eating is pleasureable, filled with textures and flavors, something I can do on my own or share with other people. Once I started finding joy in eating again I was able to to delve deeper into IE.

thanks for the suggestions wannabeskinny.
I have been meaning to read a book on mindful eating have not gotten around to it yet but in case you are interested(and haven't read it) --> savor-thich nhat hanh http://www.amazon.com/Savor-Mindful-...ds=savor+thich

Probably my worst trigger food is Ramen noodles. Yes, I'm aware they are HORRIBLE for you, don't fill you up, provide virtually zero nutrients, and don't even taste good, but for whatever reason I still love the spicy chicken cup noodles from my poor days. When I do indulge though I often find that I'm hungry for something more substantial almost immediately and usually have to eat more food. Cereal is also a bad one for me because while my intention is to always use skim milk, if there's half and half in the house I use that instead (I know, I'm awful.) Lastly, sugary sodas of any variety, but PARTICULARLY Code Red Mountain Dew. I can hardly enter a gas station without engaging in a life and death debate over whether or not I should get a polar pop (for the record, I shouldn't.)

For me, I find that for some foods I am better off if I don't have them in the house and eat them in a controlled situation.

For example, I don't buy a package of cookies any more because every time I would walk by the pantry I had to think about whether I was going to eat cookies. And, too often, I would eat too many. So, I just quit buying them for the house.

I do occasionally still have a cookie where I can just buy one (getting food from Subway I might get a cookie with it).

There are other foods like this also. And, my life is ever so much easier and my weight loss so much better since I just quit bringing them into the house.

My trigger foods are milk chocolate, white chocolate and pizza. Nearly every time I have them, I end up binging. So I rarely eat them and find other food I like to have as treats instead.

ubergirl I absolutely understand you. I was 179 in high school after college lost 14lbs and then started and succeeded from 2009-2011. I got down to 125 my goal weight being at 5ft 1. I kept it off for two years and this past year 203-14 I gained ten lbs. I know for some that isn't a lot, but it woke me up a bit. I really thought I had this thing figured out. The working out isn't the problem food is for me. I started eating kind of bad and binging/overeating started again. Glad to know there is others out there. I have been going up a few pounds and then back down for months, but last night I had a success I only had one portion of snack food which has been my trouble lately, I seem to always want more and more I get bored and that's how the whole thing starts again for me anyways.

Here's been my experience with triggers (I've been in maintenance mode for twenty years)-

Eating food I know I shouldn't be eating, seeing the weight gain (a pound or two) and having to make the decision
(a) who cares, I'm sick of this
(b) I have to care because I want to be healthy. Not thin, but healthy. I've seen the effect of lifestyle on health.

Even yesterday, we went out to eat and I had chicken and vegetables. It came with mashed potatoes, something I don't normally eat, and hence the problem. I saw they had corn bread and garlic bread, both things that I love but don't eat. I had one of each. I woke up today and was two pounds heavier than I was two days ago.

So, today, it was either "who cares," or "I'm going to be more careful today and get back on the horse." This is the one day of the week where I will have French fries or a pretzel, but I
won't.

Regarding the scale thread, this is the exact reason why I think a scale is useful even though scales suck. I would rather know at two pounds compared to ten pounds. Denial is a lot easier without the evil creation of the scale. Even if we don't weigh ourselves, our weight will be the same. It's not creating the problem.