I have been maintaining very well at 135-138 since about February. What is changing now and what I don't like is that old behaviours are coming back. I'm starting to binge eat crap in the evenings, falling asleep in front of the TV, and the cycle of energy drinks and all that they bring with them is starting up.

This is mostly due to severe loneliness. DH is working through his own stuff and he's over at the new house almost every night. I see him @ breakfast and at dinner and that's it. The social events I attended last weekend reminded me of how lonely I am. So I eat.

And work is about to take off so I'm going to be even more tired.

I'm going to start by cutting out the energy drinks this weekend. Instead of candy in the evening I'm going back to frozen fruit and yogurt - one serving. And by serving I mean 1 cup of fruit and 1/2 cup of yogurt.

Dh or no DH I AM in control of my behaviours. You'll probably see a lot more babbling posts from me in the evening, about all sorts of stuff not directly diet/maintenance related. Bear with me please - it's the loneliness speaking out loud.

Dagmar

And from me in the late afternoon (that might be around 12 noon in North America) - it's the annoyance of making a meal at my lowest point in the day.

to all babblers.

birchie May I call you that? Late afternoon seems to be my lowest point too, in terms of resisting food. I have a theory that people should take naps in the late afternoon to offset this. Unfortunately napping hasn't caught on in North American culture - people always look at me sideways when I say that I like to take a nap in the afternoon.

We can all babble away together - 3FC's version of "Ulysses"

Dagmar TGIF and I mean it man!

You may. As my mum says, 'You can call me anything you like as long as you don't call me late for my dinner!'

I did some exercises this morning and was hit by extreme fatigue. I am so tired I cannot tell you. This led to an early lunch of cheese on toast which wasn't strictly planned. My shoulders are very sore and I can hardly keep my eyes open.

'I hear you, o body, and I understand. I will have a rest day. I will stop over-doing it. I will get to bed even earlier.'

Dagmar, I am thinking of having a zizz even now. (I'm not at work or driving.) It is 12.55.

I am beside myself with annoyance/frustration/wonderment as this cuts right across what I had planned in order to just get through the day. Time to rethink, I think.

I am hugely in favor of naps! I would love to see the siesta brought to the US, since we've already adopted so many other awesome bits from our southern neighbors (who the heck needs ketchup when we have salsa?). There is nothing quite as reinvigorating as the 20 minute power nap!

silver and Dagmar, my danger zone for as long as I've been working is about 3 - 5pm. It is the only time I am vulnerable to 3 servings of chips or the restless scanning of the pantry or refrigerator, which results in meaningless chewing frenzies. I forget what term Robin used for that behavior.

Dagmar, would there be any value of setting up a "date night" every two weeks or so for a few hours with DH, whilst you inch your way toward November 1? It sounds like he could use a break and refresher too.

allison, the only defeat is giving up. Do the workout today, get back on track, and keep plugging away. You and I tend to lose on the sawtooth graph, I've noticed, since we can be sidetracked by yummy stuff and good times.

ds, I see the dilemma there. I guess I'd take it from the standpoint of, if we accept that a pound of fat is 3500 extra calories (personally, I think there's a lot of nuances that affect that number), how many extra calories do you want to budget for during the holiday? I am an eggnog FANATIC, so I should be trying to lose at least an extra 5. There's a reason I don't buy or make any of the stuff before December 1, and it has to be gone by the time I go back to work in the new year!

JayZee, I can't add anything about the dress shopping that hasn't been said. You're bucking the culture by not NEEDING to lose weight, and I agree that if you try to get in an unhappy place just to meet some twisted standard, that is what will affect your pictures. Concentrate on eating your normal healthy food so you will continue to be your normal healthy and radiant self on the big day!

Saw a 150.5 this morning, 2nd time this month. I have a 5k to do tomorrow on a very flat route. I think I might try to run the whole thing, albeit extremely slowly, just to see if I can. It's not like I'm going to overheat - tonight's low is expected to be 40F! Brrrr!

Happy Friday the 13th!

So funny, one of my employees yesterday said "you can call me anything but don't call me unemployed."

I got my workout done last night after dinner and it felt great. In fact, it was easier than the one Monday right after work and before dinner. I may have to continue with this. Weight down this morning almost 2 pounds (total--not for the day).

Birchie - I think the name 'birchie' originally came from Alena (Tomato). Every time I use it I think of her. I am also weary today, with no time for it.

Dagmar - I'm sorry for your current stress. Hang in there, honey.

Allison - when I exercise in the morning I ALWAYS feel better the rest of the day and seem to enjoy the workout more than in the afternoon.

I could take a nap every afternoon. Seriously. I wish it would take off here.

I started reading Leigh Peele from Saef & JayEll's comments, and I posted something that was talking to me in the weekly chat by accident. So, I'm going to put it here again, too.

Something from Leigh Peele that is talking to me right now:

"Looking below, you can gain some examples of what can take place when you have been in a deficit too long. It should be noted most of these things can be general side effects of fat loss or completely separate issues all together. This is not a list to diagnose or confirm any particular illness or disease and is based on review literature and anecdotal evidence.

Sudden inability to complete workouts at standard performing level
Stalled fat loss
Increase in fluid retention on a regular basis
Feeling unmotivated and lacking energy
Increased susceptibility to colds, sore throats and other illnesses
Decrease body temperature from previous normal levels
Alterations in appetite
Decrease in performance
Insomnia
Aches or pain in the muscles and/or joints
Fatigue
Headaches
Elevated morning pulse
Disordered eating habits/thoughts"

A lot of these things seem to be applying to me right now. Now I have to figure out how to fix it.

Shannon~I used to like doing my workouts first thing in the morning, too, but I just can't wrap my head around getting up 45 minutes earlier than I already do now. I get up at 5 AM! This allows me to: feed the cats, pour a cup of coffee, take a shower, put on makeup, do my hair and get dressed. Then I feed the dogs, get the paper, pour another cup of coffee and relax for 15 minutes or so while I read. Then I make the bed, check to see if the animals need anything (litter box emptied, dog poop picked up, dry food given to cats, etc.), pour my last cup of coffee and then see if I need to take the garbage out. One final visit to the bathroom to check my hair and I'm out the door between 6:30 and 6:40 AM. I start work at 7 AM.

I usually leave work at about 4 PM and will run an errand on the way home if needed. Then I'll feed the cats, clean up the kitchen (cuz you never know if they cats have been on the counters), empty the dishwasher, set the table, feed the dogs and start getting dinner ready. On Monday, I did a workout before I did any of the kitchen stuff. It left me feeling kind of out of it. I probably should have had a small snack before the workout, but didn't think of it. But last night doing the workout after dinner was good. I didn't feel like I had to do anything and the time just flew by (I could have kept going on, but I wanted to go read my book--next time I'll take the book to read while on the treadmill).

Your list from Leigh Peele only had one thing that resonated with me--feeling unmotivated and lacking energy. Motivation is my #1 enemy when it comes to working out. I wish it weren't so. I guess I should say that the aches and pains in the muscles and joints is in there, too. Last night I sat reading with my massaging heating pad on my back (I had totally forgotten that I had one!). It was quite relaxing and after doing that for two evenings, my back is feeling better. Now to make my knees stop hurting (I ordered some Traumeel to see if that helps). (But deep down I think it is my weight that is bothering my joints.)

Unfortunately he's quite tall and very lean (6', about 150) so sometimes I feel like either a short dumpling or a short muscular behemoth next to him.

Amen to this.

Neurodoc: Thank you for sharing your experience with wedding diets, because that is exactly what I predict would likely happen with me. I can eat at a deficit either long-term but very slightly (my current goal), or more strictly for just a few weeks. Anything more extreme and I quickly go off the deep end into binging behavior.

My insecurity stems from the fact that I am naturally muscular with broad shoulders. At my current size/weight, I gladly rock a tank top or bike shorts. But I have always looked slightly ridiculous in frilly feminine clothing and I suspect most wedding dresses qualify as such. For some reason, my insecure brain thinks a bit of weight loss will make me more feminine and less like the Hulk in ivory taffeta.

Jay, I don't categorize 5'7" as short. My SIL who is 5' 1/4" is short. And why not go strapless and rock those muscles?

Jay, you are not short. Your BF is only 5 inches taller than you.
I am 5 feet even, now that is short.

JayZ I'm not for one moment suggesting that you buy your dress from eBay but I checked out "beach" wedding dresses there just out of curiosity. There are a number of strapless fairly simple designs that you would probably ROCK! Depending on how formal your celebration is you are the one who will choose how "fluffy" a dress you wear.

If I were getting married (of course I'm much shorter and older than you but I am a curvy muscular short woman) I'd probably go with a sheath dress or a shift in an interesting fabric.

Dagmar

I would be totally down with eBay! Except for not being able to try it on first. And I think something simple and shorter, like a shift, is perfect. And maybe strapless, like the other ladies also suggested. Except I have strapless dress slippage fear. Maybe if it fits right, that won't happen.

Plus I don't think I am into wearing white. I mean really - I'm almost 40. That ship sailed long ago.

Oh my dear, as a woman, I feel bound to share my knowledge of certain stuff (see below).

When I shopped in some Manhattan resale shops -- in deepest eating disorder days, when I was under 110 lbs -- I'd find dresses with this still clinging inside.

I said, "Uck, what is this?" and the saleslady laughed in a condescending way before explaining.

Ever since, I have used it on a regular basis, not only on certain dresses but also at the office on certain blouses. Now I would never be without it.

http://www.amazon.com/Hollywood-Fash.../dp/B000K9NZJE

This stuff is what they use (I think) to give the really really skinny underwear models some bosom. Chanel Iman (I think that's the name) is a beautiful but really skinny girl and she now models for Victoria's Secret. I think they must put lots of this stuff on her to give her any suggestion of a bust.

Speaking of frilly underwear would any of you have any suggestions for which company I should choose for a gift card for my almost 16 year old niece? She will turn 16 at the end of October and I, as the naughty auntie who gave her a very sensible book about sex, would like for her to buy herself some nice lingerie AND some jammies too.

We have either Victoria's Secret or La Vie en Rose up here.

Dagmar