Hi VermontMom. You have done a lot. I bet that feels great, huh?It would definetly elevate the mood, change is hard but good change is nothing to pass over.

Hello friends. I hope you all are well today.

My anxiety has been bothering me. I have this constant feeling of dread. I keep telling myself that it is simply the illness. I feel like something awful is going to happen. I hate feeling like this. My therapist tells me that I need to learn to live with the anxiety. I don't want to.

Vermont, I'm so proud and happy for you. I understand what a major accomplishment that was for you. You should just sit back and appreciate it. I hope that inspires your family to help, or at least not protest, decluttering any other spaces that you may get the urge to tackle. A clean house really does wonders for the soul. My mom may come for Xmas now so I will be frantically cleaning my house too in an effort to make her believe I live that way all the time. Sometimes there are things that they just don't need to know.

Ohio, I hate to hear you are having a hard time right now. Anxiety can be a really annoying struggle. I had more of that than depression when I was a child and in high school. I can label things more accurately now than then I think. It was a terrible, scary feeling of impending doom and dread. It's no way to live. I don't blame you for not accepting that as your future. Hang in there.

Mustang, congratulations on your efforts paying off. I'm sure the 3 lbs is just a natural temporary fluctuation. Annoying, nevertheless.

Avalon, you as well. Congrats on doing what you need to do even though you aren't getting the scale credit that you deserve. Yet.

Txgeekgirl, way to go on the job praise! Sometimes one good thing can start to turn other things around. I hope this happens for you.

I'm supposed to be at a party tonight, but I decided to stay home instead. It's frustrating. Now that I am trying hard to exercise and eat right I am more aware of my body than ever before, and it isn't a good feeling. I know my friends love me, and support me at any weight, but I feel ugly. I have been diagnosed with SAD, but I don't feel depressed. I have been leaving the house for the gym, and for horseback riding, but I don't want to do social events. I keep canceling plans with friends.

Day 6 of my diet. Trying hard but did allow myself some toppings on my fro-yo today. Missing pizza and coke...but today I had to buy a 3x coat for the first time and I'm mad at myself. I hate my body, I really do. I hate that I allowed myself to get here. I wish I could rewind 10 years and smack some sense into myself when I started letting myself go. 4lbs. down...but it's the same 4 that come and go so I'm trying not to get my hopes up. this HAS to happen now, I want to be the best mom and wife I can be. All I want to do is sleep...working myself to death...argh. Everywhere I go I avoid people I know, I just want to hide myself away.

Happy *belated* birthday VermontMom.

It's Monday (yay)....I like weekdays more than weekends because work gets me out of the house and I get more depressed when I'm alone.

It snowed this morning but it was only a light dusting so no effects on traffic, which is good; driving in snow/ice makes me extremely anxious.

txgeekgirl, wow, I just noticed your amazing weight loss. That is incredible. Congratulations!!! Way to go. I know what you mean about weekends. Before I was working a part time job and had 2 days in a row off, I would feel incredibly down by the end of it. Being busy is the best thing for me, even though most of the time I long to be lazy.

Newmom, aside from the part about being a mom I could have written your entire post. I hide as well. If I could earn a living hiding from anyone who ever knew me I would be rich.

TheLauren, I do the same. As I said to Newmom, I am a professional hider. I could write a book on avoiding society. Of course, I have to say that my friends who only know me as fat I don't avoid as often. It's like I think they have no expectations for me to be any better.

Thanks Hope. Everything is improving.
My efforts are paying off. Hope to see you in chat.
I'm sorry i'm slow at it. Have a nice evening.

Lauren, I'm sure you're looking great but I
do understand what you said.
We have to feel it inside first. I hope you're
feeling better today.

hi all..hope you dont mind me joining your thread...i have depression..im on effexcor and tradazone for sleep..im sick of being lonely with no one who understands me..so i figure i could make a friend here and not be so lonely...

Im sooooooo frustrated with my doctors..they think i make up symptoms of illnesses..Im convinced they think i have Muncheausins (seeing symptoms that arent really there just to be able to get treated by a doctor) Yah..well it feels like every doctor thinks im crazy..i tell them "im on effexcor 225mg" and they say "thats a high dose" and "do you have counselling" and then they look at me and think im making up an illness...they think im crazzy.. and i hate it!!!! Im not crazy..im extremely smart! I study health sciences for fun..ive always had an interest in medicine and doctor stuff..my mom is a nurse..it runs in the family...my grandfather was an OBGYN...it comes natural..i study and i memorize and remember.. Meanwhile..these doctors act like doo doo heads...like "what school did you attend" cause im pretty sure your wrong...half of them are useless..

Im sorry..im just mad that people just see the meds im on and think "your crazy..you must be.." Its like.. i never get a doctor who can look past the list of meds to actually see me..next time i prone to just say "no im med free..i have no medications im on" just to see how they treat me. Maybe they will stop thinking that im crazy...oh and by the way..its not my fault i have been sick with infection after infection since i was a young kid..i cant explain why i get infections.. i just do..even though i take very good care of myself and pop mulitiple vitamins ect...

RAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Okay..im done my rant for the day.

Hi ladys I'm new to the site but I havebeen reading and it is so nice to have people to talk to. I am on antdepressed as well makes it hard to take the weight off. And being lonley I total understand where you are coming from. Well thanks for listening
keep up the great work

It's nice to see so many new friends here but isn't it sad that so many of us suffer from depression/anxiety!

It does help so much to at least have a place to vent. Spouses or family members or friends might say 'just talk to me' but if they are not trained on how to listen and respond, it just is so frustrating and sometimes counter productive!

Hello everyone.


I went to see my nurse practitioner today and found out she is leaving the practice. Drat to that, she was such a big support to me. When you are facing the illnesses that we face, it is so important to have a great support system and now I am losing her.

I need to get my butt in gear with the coming New Year. i need to start exercising. Even if it's just 2 or 3 times a week, i need to get moving.

Tonight, i have a Christmas dinner to go to for work so I have to go. I really don't want to, I'd rather stay home and crochet. Oh well, i will go and try to have a good time.

I hope you all are doing well.

that is not good to hear so sorry! I hope her replacement is helpful and supportive to you too. And I hope you have a good time at the Christmas party tonight.

I will carefully say that I am feeling so very good. I'm looking forward to Christmas which I haven't done in years. Our living room re-do is 'almost' how I want it (new couch is awful, hideous, huge and out of proportion but it's here to stay) and overall it has helped my serenity! Am back to regularly taking my med and I'm sure that is helping too. Got a new exercise dvd and it is awesome! It is handing my butt to me but I needed something new and challenging. Also found a site, Fitness Blender.com that is a wonderful find! free full length workouts.