Glory, thank you for your post. Your poor mom! I hope she's feeling better.

I wonder if, as they say, smokers have an easier time staying slim. My husband is also a smoker. I've been assured by friends that if he ever stopped, he would gain weight (I wish I could prove them right or wrong, but I don't think he'll ever stop smoking ).

It has been 3 years since Tom died and my mom is much better. She has a new man in her life who is making her very happy.

Glory, I think I would love your Mom, not about her weight but about her youthful attitude, sure she has faced some tough things but has come out on top. Good for her !

My husband has always been thin. He is naturally drawn to healthy foods, that helps, but when he think he's over indulging, I think he's just warming up. He eats one cookie in the evening, not several. He'll skip the piece of chocolate if he feels his pants are getting tight and so on. He pays attention to what he weighs, but it's easy for him to reel it in because he never goes overboard.

For this past year he wanted to lose 15 pounds. He didn't "need to" but he feels better at a slightly lower weight. It took him all year to lose the 15 pounds, but he did it slowly and surely. He was a bit more vigilant and he started exercising.

Over the holidays he always gains 5 pounds. He takes that 5 pounds the next month by just being a bit more watchful, but not really dieting,

So the question that comes to my mind, after reading about lin43's and berryblondeboys' spouses and living with my partner is, "How is it that they stop eating and we don't?" What is that about? Is it old feeding habits? Relying on food for comfort or for a "high"? Being "addicted" to some foods?

I'm also wondering whether restricting food too much, or exercising too much, might trigger hormone responses that the naturally normal weight people don't experience because they don't go through that. Hormones that make us want to eat more... Because if that's true, the answer may not be more restriction and harder workouts.

Jay

You may have a point there Jay. I find that, when I'm in dieting mode, I get really hungry and wind up binge eating if I go under 1400 cals for 3-4 days in a row. I tried 3 days @ 1400 cals and then day 4 @ 1800 cals and that helped. So, for me, moderate restriction coupled with a less restricitive day helps me lose (and maintain).

And isn't that what a lot of the "normal" eaters are doing? They just don't think about it in as great detail as we do.

Dagmar

It's well-documented that people who have lost weight experience hormonal impulses that drive them to eat. DebraSY wrote a lot about that on her blog.

My boss, who is 5'3" and 106 lbs. forgets to eat. FORGETS.

I never forget to eat. LOL.

When I was thin, I was a natural maintainer so long as I was active. I have always loved to hike and do other outdoor activities so activity came natural to me. But when I stopped being active, I gained weight like crazy. So one thing I've realized about myself is I don't change my food intake based on activity. That's something I need to work on, obviously.

I think many of you have figured this out pretty well. I am actually the only bigger girl among my best friends. I run and hike and backpack and always played sports, so most all of my friends I have met thru these activities. And they are all thin. Two friends in particular are very thin and have always been. I think they both fit into some of these catagories you chickies have talked about.
One is 5'10" and had to have her size 4 wedding dress taken in to a size 0. She is tiny. like 120 lbs at 5'10". She is always aware of what she eats, but allows herself to eat most any food she wants. She has also told me she weighs herself every morning and has ever since high school. A couples backpacking trip totally illustrated how she monitors. On our car camping night before we headed up the mountain she had sugar free hot chocolate as a late night dessert and I noticed most of the food she brought was fruit veggies, and low fat cheese lean protiens etc. After the trip we went into the mountain town nearby and stopped at a greasy spoon to get some good junkie post days of hiking food. She asked her husband to share a burger with her. A juicy bacon and cheese mamouth. She ate 1/4 of the burger and like 6 french fries, afterwhich she leaned back in her chair and said "ugh that was good but I am done with that!". I see her eat all the time and its almost always healthy veggie fruits whole grains and even "diet" foods. At a party she brings michelob ultra or skinny girl margaritas. Also she lifts weight religious and does interval training. She definitely works at staying slim.

The other friend, equally as tiny, is my running buddy. I see her drink high calorie beer, eat french fries and fettucini alfredo, but like my other example she is always doing so in moderation. And while I dont think she ever steps on a scale she iis always aware. I see her say no to the same fries I see her eat a week prior and I have heard her say things like. "I have been eating too heavy this week, lets go for a long run tomorrow". Again she doesnt obsess and definitely doesnt count calories, but she is aware of her eating and excercise habits overall, and she obstains when she has been overindulging lately.

There are 2 naturally thin ppl in my immediate family that I actually asked about this. One male and one female. First of all, their parents are slim - in one case mother, in the other father.
They have been slim their whole life. The female told me that she doesn't like the feeling of being overly full - it just makes her uncomfortable - she stops eating when she had enough and even having her favorite cake on the table doesn't tempt her, b/c "who wants to eat until it hurts?" hmmm.
The male works very hard physically on a daily basis and indulges in sweets occasionally. But he never takes a second serving. He prefers soups and salads over casseroles and carb dishes -that's is not smth he thinks about, just "the way it is".
I think these habits are taught, but the genetics play a role as well.
You can see that I've given t a lot of thought
That being said, I do have an addictive personality. Everyone in my family smoked/smokes - I quit when I became pregnant with my first child and gained over 70 lbs with my first pregnancy. I'm still carrying 60 lbs of this weight 4 kids later and struggle daily to loose it.

*Nods* My DH is like that. He was the first person I ever met that would use the term "uncomfortably full"- he doesn't like feeling stuffed and actively avoids eating that much. Myself, if I don't reach the point of stuffed I don't feel like I've eaten enough. I have to actively say "STOP" and then stop eating. At lunch today, as an example, I know I ate enough calories. Perhaps too many. And yet, I could have had a second serving and I do still feel actively hungry even 45 minutes later.