Honesty is not the best policy...

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  • Curvaliscious- Ill mannered people will always find something to be rude about. Children are a special group. They only know what their parents teach them. My niece has made a few comments (when she was younger) about me being fat (but she's also made comments like "Grandpa you smell bad,* or *Aunt LeeAnn your hair is all gray*). Kids make observations about everything until they learn all those wonderful social rules we've long since internalized. Cold comfort, just remember you're doing something about your weight. And there are millions of people who don't do a thing about their problems every day.
  • Kids just say what they observe. Adults - different story. The elderly - well, they seem to fall into the "child" category at times. Some of the filters between what they think and what they say seem to have degraded with time. I notice it with my dad. He's 94 and was always a pretty "matter of fact" sort of person. Now the "truths" he speaks are a little too truthful sometimes. I'd try to take it all for what it's worth - their problem, not yours. Easier said than done, but easier than changing them.

    Happy New Year, everyone.

    Lin
  • kids have a 6th sense for what's shocking or stretches the limit, they like to test boundaries and get attention. negative attention is still attention. it's really up to the adult figures (parents, etc) to show them when they've crossed a line, and people tend to overlook it, esp when it comes to weight (that's been my experience). maybe their embarrassed, or feel like it's not that big a deal, or a combination.

    plus, I know it can be easier to accept a negative comment as "truth" and then when a compliment comes along to brush it aside as someone just trying to be nice, ha.
  • I remember one time I was walking up to the building where Weight Watchers was held. Two young males said something about fatty ... I weighed 146 at the time, my top weight ever. Today I would kill to be 146. Everything is relative. If you look around the US today, it appears that there are just as many heavy people as slim ones. If the current trends keep up the thin ones will be the "odd" ones. Just let it run off you and keep going! I know it is unpleasant, the last time we visited my FIL and his wife (90 yrs old) she told me about 20 times each day how fat I was now, wasn't that a shame, I used to be so pretty. I was ready to pummel her to death by the time we left.
  • I work at my son's preschool one day a week and about 2 mons ago I was there and we were outside and my son (3yrs) was playing with another boy (4 yrs) and they came up to me and the other boy turns to my son and says "Your mom is fat" My heart broke as this was one of my worst fears that another child say to my son that his mother was fat and my son would feel embarrassed. What actually happened was my son just looked puzzled and said nothing and I leaned down to the other boy and with a serious tone said "It is rude to comment on other people's bodies. What you said is hurtful" and he just looked at me then my son hugged me and they both ran off to play. The other boy has not said anything else on the subject.

    i understand at that age that children are mostly just making observations and don't mean to be hurtful or mean but I also believe that it is the adults in the child's life to teach them appropriate social behavior.