I have this issue to a lesser extent with my family. I am happy to makemyself a salad, for example, while making them hotdogs. But for me, I view it as balance. None of them struggle withtheir weight, portion control, or eating an excess of junk food. So cinnamon rolls for breakfast every few weeks, or a cheesy casserole? It isn't impacting their health negatively, because it is balanced with heart-healthy bean dishes, raw carrots for snack, water instead of juice to drink, etc etc.
I cook healthy food for my family probably 90% of the time, some pizza or baked chicken nuggets for a meal a week isn't what is going to break the bank with their health, and I know they enjoy a good variety of food, both more healthy and less. I have changed my husband's diet through my own - the entrees are healthier, more veggies, more whole ingredients even in the desserts I make, etc etc - and he has dropped about 20 pounds just naturally through the last two years, due to these changes. I don't need to have them all on a calorie restricted diet like mine, because they don't have the same problem I have. So healthy, whole foods, including a little natural sugar and a fair bit of fat, is fine for them.
For me, I am giving them lessons in portion control (my kids are so great at this, they'll stop eating the moment they aren't hungry, and my husband as well!) and providing them a variety of foods to choose from, including the occasional junky option. Their diets are balanced, their habits are solid, their bodies are healthy. I had to find a balance between pleasing their palates and considering their health, and doe me that didn't include never baking again. I also refuse to buy diet cheese or organic veggies, for cost reasons, so we make due with the inexpensive, standard alternatives and use them in smart ways.
Just do the best with what you have. Change your husband's diet slowly, make healthier desserts, or relegate them to a special day of the week (like Friday night is pie night, etc). Make a cheesy casserole, but serve it with fresh strawberries and a salad, and make up the first plate for him. My husband likes being served by me, especially when I do it with a smile and a kiss, as it makes him feel special and loved. This gives me some control over his first helping, at least, and I can give his plate a nice balance of nutrients to start off with, helping him fill up on more than just the high calorie main course.
Little things like this make the difference in our family. I don't put my family on a diet with me, per se, but the basic habit changes I have undertaken do trickle down to them and impact them. I have no desire to make them eat rabbit food every day for the rest of ther lives, but neither will I allow them to dine on hohos and soda either! Knowing their like their sweet and savory dishes, the best I can do is make them as healthy and tasty as possible, balancing them with whole grain sides, lightly cooked veggies, and a cornucopia of fresh fruit. I control what is cooked in this house, and have a responsibility to balance the needs and wants of all those involved. That means I don't enable them with cookies daily, but don't make them set kale or starve, either. You'll find your balance too, just make it a priority to show your husband love in ways other than comfort food, or put those foods on special days where they can be had, but aren't a regular feature in the daily diet of your home. It has worked marvelously for us
