You can eat what your parents are eating...just much much smaller portions. You will lose...bottom line...calories in vs. calories out. No science has ever been able to dispute this fact.

Just remember, the more "calorie dense" high fat foods you eat...the smaller your portions must be in order to maintain your calorie deficit.

You can definitely make it work. Just try not to eat twinkies and cheeseburgers all day...your hair and teeth will fall out and you will get sick and eventually die. We need nutrients to survive...so do the best you can at fitting these types of food into your diet...even supplementing with a good multivitamin! All the best!

You have been given some great advice here already. I don't have anything to add to that but was wondering how old you are and if you could get a job to help out? Possibly you could buy some of your own food?

Also, I think that it is great that your parents are so supportive! We have so many posts where our loved ones sabotage us instead of supporting us. It is also great that you are willing to work with them on this!

For me, a calorie is a calorie. I've had a few times where I eat mostly junk (but within my calorie range), and I still lose weight. However, long term, I don't think I'd be able to lose weight if I had to eat miniscule portions of high calorie foods, just psychologically it would be too difficult for me.

Protein is more difficult for your body to digest so your TEF is going to be higher but 300-500 higher on low intake? This is a 20-30% difference. If true you're indeed unique.

I'm 19 and working on getting a job but I live in an area with literally no jobs. Since my parents are out of work I think they want to move to an area that isn't so bad. Either way I'll probably be moving to Pennsylvania in fall to go to school.

I agree, my parents are amazing! My mom had WLS surgery years ago and got down to below 200 I believe but gained a lot of it back. Now she gets sick when she eats ANYTHING and hardly ever eats. I'm worried for her but I don't push the "diet" thing on her because I think it upsets her that she can hardly eat anything without dumping even years after her surgery. She also doesn't lose weight. I think she really wants me to be happy and thin and healthy because she knows how hard it is to be overweight.

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I would try to eat as healthy as I could within the calorie range that worked best. I think the twinkie diet and diets like that are extremely unhealthy.

I don't know how unique I am, because experiences much like mine (and even more extreme) are quite common on low-carb and insulin resistance forums just on this website (and even more so on other low-carb and autoimmune forums).

I'm not aware of any research that has done controlled studies of the metabolic differences (closed system research of weight loss is so rare, no doubt because of the inconvenience and expense. With self-report studies you're always dealing with the uncertainty of subjects'accuracy in self-reportingtheir caloric intake).

In my own experiments, I paid closest attention to the calories-in portion of the equation, but not the calories out, but I did notice some interesting differences that were notable regarding the "calories out" part of the equation (but these observations were subjective. I'm confident in the trend, but I don't know the degree of the difference).

On low-carb:

I sleep less, but feel more rested (there routinely was at least an hour difference).

I have more energy, and am I'm sure, as a result are more active.

My body temperature significantly increases (my "normal" body temperature is quite low. Under 97 isn't uncommon, though average is low 97's. On sustained low-carb, my average body temperature was much closer to normal often over 98.0)

I have fewer flares of my arthritis, fibromyalgia, lung/sinus issues, and skin issues (which also as a result are likely to improve my functioning, and therefore my activity level). When I feel great, I do tend to push myself to do as much as I can, just to take advantage of the opportunity (I'm on disability and as a result of pain and mobility issues, I am often forced to be more sedentary than is conducive to sanity).


I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease attacking my sinuses, lungs, nasal cartilage, joints, and skin. Since reducing carbs, I've gone into (suspected) remission. Of course the steroid(prednisone) treatments could have caused the remission. I suspect diet playing a large role, because when I have relapsed into a high-carb diet (for example this past and last Christmas), I have reoccurences of the skin and respiratory issues.


Though my belief isn't based on fact, because there just hasn't been enough research to prove whether I am unusual or the norm, I do believe that I fall on the extreme end of the spectrum, but I don't think I am at all unusual. I've heard too many stories similar to mine. It was actually the autoimmune research with low-grain and low-carb diets that persuaded me to try low-carb eating. The more reading I did on the subject, the more I'm convinced that there are far greater differences in carbohydrate/gain metabolism than is commonly thought. How many people are affected, and to what degree, I don't think the research to this point can say.

We need more closed-system research (where calorie intake and calorie expenditure can be accurately monitored), but closed-system research is expensive and inconvenient. The research subject pool is also limited, and not representative. The "average" person isn't going to be able or willing to take off work, and leave their families and lives for several months to live in a lab-setting.

I only skimmed the thread, but just wanted to say that for me WHAT I eat is critical. Yes I can lose weight eating junk, but I can eat so much more AND lose weight if I eat clean, whole, non-processed foods. It goes the same for maintaining. Just for any example, to lose I can eat 1600-1800 of average food OR I can eat as much as 1800-2200 of clean food. Same goes for maintenance, I can eat significantly more if my food is clean.

But yes, you *can* lose and pretty much whatever is availble, but you'll need to watch your portions obviously.

Unfortunately there are no well designed studies that are also ward (closed system) studies.

You make a good point regarding insulin sensativity I had not considered ... the output part of the equation could be effected by insulin resistance causing lethargy and affecting sleep. It's still a gigantic difference but you certainly seem methodical so I don't doubt it to be true.

Speaking of your case I'm assuming you're also gluten intollerant but you must have already assumed that as well.

For me, I'll lose on both 1300 calories of chicken, broccoli and rice or just cheesecake. Health, energy, vitality, fullness, well, I have to go with the first choice

Yes, I do strongly suspect that I am gluten intolerant. I'm definitely wheat-intolerant, but I haven't experimented with non-wheat gluten grains enough to declare with certainty that gluten is the issue, though it's safest to assume so. I've thought of experimenting, but rye is rarely unaccompanied by wheat, and I've never eaten enough barley to go out of my way to eat it.

I haven't had scratch-test allergy testing, because of a possible specific drug interaction (one of my necessary medications counteracts the effectiveness of drugs that could be life-saving if I had a severe allergic reaction). I might be able to switch medications so I can be tested, but I haven't been motivated to pursue it.

My reaction to wheat is so extreme, that my husband can tell if I've had wheat by my complexion (sometimes within hours, usually within 24 hours).


I did test negative for celiac disease (though I've read that most of the tests are notoriously inaccurate if you're wheat-free at the time of the test. My doctor assured me that my test was a newer type that would be sensitive enough to determine celiac disease even if my diet was wheat-free. I even ate a few servings of wheat during the week before the test in case as an added precaution).

When I first noticed that I felt so much better on low-carb, I started experimenting with different types of carbs to determine whether it was specific carbs, or carbs in general that I needed to avoid.

I discovered that I have the most and severest problems with wheat, but that grains and sugars are problematic to a lesser degree.

Even natural sugars and whole grains can trigger noticeable reactions, but they're far milder and it takes a lot more to see reactions. On a whole food diet, to have troublesome symptoms, my diet has to be extremely carb and grain heavy for a more extended period of time.

High protein grains seem to be least problematic (I haven't had to strictly limit quinoa for example, though I can easily overeat quinoa to stall weight loss, I haven't found any amount of quinoa to trigger complexion issues).

Have you thought about trying to change what the rest of your family eats? Weight is one thing, but there are a lot healthier options that your family could eat. I don't live at home anymore, but when my mom came to visit me last summer I told her how I quit white bread and moved on to whole wheat and grain everything (bread, noodles, ect). I coerced her into buying the white wheat bread stuff (I'm not a fan really but it helps people just starting out) and now that she's bad home she's eating more whole grains. If you end up having to eat with the rest of your family, try to sneak in healthier things! Maybe they won't notice

I was actually surprised tonight...I went to make dinner for me and my family (sausage egg scramble for me, sausage gravy and biscuits for them) and when I went to put the flour into the sausage for the gravy I noticed it had brown flakes in it...I asked my grandma if it was flour and she was like "yeah, it's whole wheat." I was confused because since when has my family ever bought whole wheat flour? LOL. Maybe it was an accident or something.

I'd like to change my family's eating habits but I stopped pushing after bringing it up a couple of times. My mom liked the suggestion that the whole family go on South Beach which would still allow me to eat pretty low carb and cook for the whole family. I might talk to her about that again.

South Beach is a great plan. I'm a little skeptical of Atkins with respect to the cost & ridiculous animal product use -- I'm not a vegetarian now/anymore, but still a little skeptical of the diet that animals are a "healthy" food source. And so much more expensive than a balance of meat/fish, nuts, & plant oils.

I personally have only tried low-carb to a significant amount for a few days and went absolutely carb-binge-crazy right afterwards. Not going there for at least a while, but maybe the next time I plateau I'll use it jolt my system again. I don't find that what I eat matters, but I do find that cravings are impossible to deal with if I'm eating high glycemic index foods (including both fruit and your typical white-bread-and-cake-spectrum things).

I think that's the typical experience for most people -- carbs are fine if you eat the right ones, and they don't have to be expensive. I like your SBD idea a lot, but even if you end up switching to a low-fat / calorie-counting-only diet, you can definitely do it as long as you stay away from whatever the "trigger" foods turn out to be for you. Good luck and congrats on all your progress so far!

I read your posts and I need a little clarification. When you talked about Aitkins being expensive was that because you were eating some of the bars, shakes and specialty foods?

I'm technically on the Belly Fat Cure which has a higher amount of allowed carb grams than Aitkins. However the longer I've been on this plan the more I've had to restrict my intake of carbs to maintain some weightloss. I had a plateau that lasted 6-7 weeks without any loss. What I've observed is that when I up my carb level I become snarky and preoccupied with food and I feel hungry or at least unsatisfied most of the time. I'm apt to overeat when I'm tempted. I can avoid this by eating things like scrambled eggs, cheese or meats. I do buy what's on sale. I've been eating a lot of cauliflower the past two weeks with some dill dip (mayo and sour cream) Because they were cheap. I also buy the steam bags of vegetables when they are on sale for $1.00 and store them in the freezer same with cheeses. (I don't eat any simple carbs or sugar that don't come from foods like cottage cheese or vegetables) Anyway I don't think my plan is very expensive as I don't buy any specialty foods.

I would call my plan fairly high fat which is the opposit of the low fat craze of the 1990's where I believed that low fat-high carb was good. I think all my kids have weight problems now due to what I fed them growing up.

I can totally relate to where your mom is at. Give both of your parents a big hug for supporting you it's a wonderful thing. I can totally relate to where your mom is at. I too had gastric bypass surgery about 27 years ago. My diet was very effected as well. I had trouble with meats and raw fruit and vegetables. I lost 120 LBS and by April 2009 had gained all but 10 LBS back. (The last 20LBS came on fast due to an extended period on steroids.) Well it seems odd that now I am on a plan where almost every thing I eat is meat and raw vegetables. Further more I seldom overeat to the point where I throw up. I no longer have gastric reflux. That went away shortly after I cut out the carbs. I seem to digest the meats and veggies now although slowy.