like everyone has mentioned before, it sounds like there are factors in your life right now that you don't have control over. and that sucks. and most of us have been there. i'm there right now. i've been abandoned by my boyfriend, lost my job, and i have minimal local support here. the only thing i have control over is what i put in my mouth and how much i move my body.

i happen to follow ww online, because i feel like its something that i'm willing to pay for right now. i don't have a gym membership. i live in a building that has a small fitness room, so i use the treadmill. i walk about a mile or so everyday. i bought a jillian michael's dvd for $8 and some handweights a thift store for $5. i buy meat in bulk, fruits and veggies on sale and i shop around and do my research before i buy anything.

you just have to tell yourself that you have control. and once you take that control, you will feel empowered. sometimes, it requires some smaller steps rather than a complete overhaul. my friend decided that she was going to take it one healthy habit a week. one week, she told herself she would stop drinking soda; the week after, she would start working on her portion sizes; the week after, she would incorporate more fruit and veggies, etc.

exercising is also something i really have to push myself to do, as i can be really lazy. i just push myself or call a friend, to talk me into it, and i focus on how good i'll feel after it's done.

also, coming on here provides me with a great sense of support and community. if the outside support is lacking, you can definitely find it here when you need it.

hope this helps.

I also grow a large organic garden, in good ole Nebraska, but the weather gave me a hard time this summer. I did get some, but not enough to last the winter.

Anyway, the only organic food I buy is fresh spinach and a spring salad mix. The spinach keeps way longer and I can't get the spring mix any other way.

You need lean protein, fruits, veggies, low fat calcium and a bit of good fat like olive oil. Cut the soda, chips, refined/processed guck.

As far as exercise, walking is free, if it's too cold, hit the mall or walk the outside aisles in a super Wal-mart or other big store. Push ups are free, jumping jacks are free, jump rope is free. There are tons of yoga workouts on You Tube. There are also great line dancing vids on You Tube.

To earn some money, baby sitting jobs, house cleaning, snow shoveling, dog walking, house sitting, lots of options. At the very least volunteer somewhere. It will give you somewhere you have to be, and give purpose to your day. Animal shelters, nursing homes, schools, after school programs, hospitals all utilize volunteers, and it might even lead to a job!

My family is constantly telling me that they are worried, but they just won't help me out. I ask them if I do stuff around the house if they could help me out by getting me a gym membership or maybe a used treadmill to use but it is always a no. I have tried Calorie counting, but I got obsessive to the point that I was starving myself because it all had way too many calories for me. I had a bout with Anorexia a few years back believe it or not where I had lost about 30 pounds from not eating, but my family noticed I was not eating and I had been forced.

We do have a stationary bike but the problem is that it is packed in a corner and every time I try to move stuff to get it out, I get yelled at because I'm moving stuff that isn't mine. I've tried to convince my parents to let me put it in my room so I can bike and watch TV or something. I'm worried myself and my doctor has even tried to convince my parents that I need to go to a special doctor, but they refuse to let me. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses, but it really seems like every time I try to make it better for myself, I just get yelled at and it makes me depressed which causes me to eat more. ><

The billyhousewife.com website:
http://healthy.hillbillyhousewife.co...ticles/dieting


has tons of great information on dieting cheaply.


We also have a thread here for shoestring meals.

There's a stationary bike sitting there useless in a corner and you can't get to it because other people's stuff is in the way? If the worst you get is yelled at for getting to it/riding it there/moving it into your room, I would just grit my teeth and bear the yelling. It's your long-term health you're talking about here, and if you have to take a little flak for it, it's still well worth it.

Your folks may also be concerned that too much of a concerted effort to lose weight is a symptom of past eating disorders. If that's the case, then their objections to your having the bike in your room are a little easier to understand. Families can find loved ones' addictions or disorders very frightening and may act in ways that seem irrational to you. If you think that might be the case, talk with your doctor and with your family to help them realize that you're wanting to improve your health, not merely get "skinny." You might find them more supportive when they're less fearful of a relapse.

If that's not the issue and it really is just your unwillingness to get scolded, then walking is a perfect option. In fact, it solves two problems: it improves your health and it gets you out of the house so no one can yell. Having a little "me time" during walks is one of the best things about them.

As others have noted, you really do have to find some bedrock level of "I am not going to take this any more" in your psyche. Until you do, there will always be reasons why you believe you don't control your own health choices.

In most states in the US, at 19, with the exception of drinking or military service, you are considered a legal adult.

As an old lady and a mother, start considering college and what you want to do with your life, file for financial aid for the fall semester, and get yourself out of the house and on with your life. It can be done.

You do not have to give in, or give up on your family, you can still love them, but you do not have to put up with them holding you back from what you want to be. It can be done.

I personally would try to find another job, get out of that over bearing house, then do what you need to do. You're 19 and you don't have to listen to your parents once you move out.

I cannot get financial aid because my technical school doesn't participate with it. :[

you're situation does sound tough, but again, sometimes, you just have to take the heat if you want to make changes. like Nola Celeste said, i could understand why your folks my be concerned about the bike. if it would help, maybe have a sit down with them and let them know what your goals are; this might help them feel more comfortable. get them involved. if this doesn't work, grit your teeth, take the yelling, and trust me, they'll get over it. i'm sure you and your parents have had issues before, and i'm sure this wouldn't be the first time you've disobeyed them. this would be a good excuse to just go ahead and do what you need to do.

also- does you doctor recommend that you go to specialist for further testing? or to a nutritionist?

The problem with dieting with obstacles is that it teaches us to be weak. Every time you decide you can't do something, you get to eat. This is classic reinforcement: it encourages you to keep deciding you can't do things, because each time, you get a reward. I was in this trap for years.

It's like someone has dropped you in a maze and told you to find a way out. You can't just wander to one dead-end and stop--or even a dozen dead-ends. Every dead-end, you have to stop, turn around, and keep actively looking for a new solution. The problem with dieting is that every time we hit a dead-end and stop, someone hands us a cupcake. Like good lab rats everywhere, this encourages us to find dead-ends, not to find our way out.

The number one thing you need to do is to totally change your way of eating. The exercise is a red herring. At the beginning, especially, food choices are everything. You say you can't calorie count because then you don't eat anything. But have you tried it with a high calorie limit, like 2000? You could try just keeping a food journal for a while, and try to make healthier choices (and this board is a great place to learn what are healthier choices). You could try a low-carb approach. There are lots and lots of possible ways out of this maze, but there are lots of dead-ends as well. You've got to keep looking.

Again, I'd start with food. Once you have your eating re-shaped (and you'll feel much better when you do), you can start shaping an exercise plan.

How many calorie were you doing before? If you can pick a good range (and like Shmead, I would try a higher range at first) and stick to it, your body will respond. If trying to get the exercise equipment is too stressful, don't worry about it. Focus on walking more. Take the stairs. Or, just focus on the food. The food is the biggest piece of the puzzle, especially at the beginning. Just start trying to make some healthier choices. Have you had any counseling for your anorexia? Are there any resources you could look into at your school?

I went to a counselor and I don't have issues with it anymore unless I count calories. My friend and I tried to do that over the summer and I started to do it again so I just stopped and gave up on calorie counting.

If you can't count calories without issues, look up the diabetic exchange program. Basically you get a list of "servings" of each of the food groups. You eat something like this Daily, (And I'm just going on memory so this probably isn't the correct formula):
3 fruit servings
4 vegetable servings (1/2 cup)
5 bread/starch servings
6 protein servings
3 dairy servings
3 fat servings

So for example if you eat a 1/4 lb. cheeseburger with veggies and mustard it would be something like this:
2 breads (Each side of the bun would be a serving)
4 proteins (meat)
1 dairy
1 vegetable


I know a lot of people who have successfully lost weight doing this...

Anyway, just a thought.

Many people plan their meals around cheap foods or sale papers. Beans are cheap and filling, you can buy bags of frozen chicken or whole chickens on sale. I live at home too and have no job, but my mom is very receptive to me cooking meals that everyone will enjoy and she buys the ingredients. For example, I'm on a low-carb diet so I'll make nachos for everyone and just put my nacho toppings on lettuce instead of chips. My mom doesn't have to cook and I have an on-plan meal...a win-win!

Vegetarian chilis are cheap, easy, filling, and healthy. Many people recommend making chilis and soups with beans for this very reason.

You could lose weight just by cutting portions of not so "healthy" foods. Eat 2 slices of pizza and a salad instead of dipping 4 slices into ranch dressing (I'm not saying you do this, so don't get insulted. I actually used to do this). Eat half of the lasagna you used to and put a salad on the side instead of garlic bread.

One reason your parents and boyfriend might not be supportive is because they don't believe you. This seems harsh but it could be true. When I told my mom I was going to start losing weight, she was skeptical because of all of the times I've said that before, wasted her money on "healthy" foods and then given up and gained it all back. Once she sees you making healthier choices like ordering whole wheat pasta at a restaurant or saying no to cookies, she might be more supportive and try to help you more.

Good luck!

I've finally discovered (after 40 years of dieting) that no one can help me. When they try, it usually backfires, because no matter what they say or do, it's usually the wrong thing.

My husband and I both had great dreams of being support to each other, as we both need to lose weight. As it turns out our needs are very different, and we can't help each other. When we try it backfires.

If we encourage each other to exercise, it feels like nagging.

If we're offered food by the other person, it feels like sabotage.

If we're not offered, or are criticised for a food choice, it feels like the other person is being food-cop.

If the other person lost more weight, we'd feel hurt and jealous (and there's no way for us to make sure we lose the same amount of weight each week).

In most cases, there is no possible way for the people living with you to provide just the right amount and kind of support. Just can't happen. Even with the best of intentions it tends to backfires. They'll never be able to do and say what you need, when you need it (especially since you may not always know what you need, when you need it).


I'd strongly recommend a TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly) if you can find one. It's cheaper than most weight loss groups. The national dues are $26 per year (and include a monthly magazine with success stories, tips, recipes...). Then you'll also pay local chapter dues (which are almost always under $5 per month. And there may be fines for weight gain (in one group I attended fines were a quarter no matter how much you gained, and in other groups fines were a dime per pound.

In most groups, you have ways to earn back some or all of the money you put into the group (and sometimes even more). The group I belong to runs so many weight loss contests, that a member could even make a profit. The group has a monthly white elephant auction that is entirely voluntary to participate in (I usually don't unless it's to donate something useless I have laying around the house). The auction money funds all of the many contests.

For example in our group if a person is the best loser for the month, they win $5. If they lose 10 and keep it off, at the end of the year they earn $5 for the 10 lb loss, and $1 for every month they keep it off (so if you lost 10 lbs in January and keep it off all year, you get $16 at the end of the year).

Many groups have ways to earn free monthly dues (in my last group, if you lost any weight in the previous month, even a quarter pound you got free dues for the next month).


I think the people living with you are too close to provide the best support. The best anyone living with you can do is stand out of your way (and some may not be able to even do that much).

Finding support outside your home (in my experience) works alot better.

You can always find reasons and excuses not to do things (and they'll always sound perfectly reasonable), but to actually accomplish anything you have to find ways to get things done.

And this isn't true about only weight loss. I've always said that if I didn't have to have a job I'd be able to finish my novel (the one I've been working on since 1991)

Five years ago I went onto disability, and my new excuse was "if I could sit in a chair for more than an hour, I could finish my novel."

Now that I can sit for more than an hour, I've decided I really need two or three.

If I had devoted 15 minutes every day to writing, I'd have finished several novels by now (I've vowed to finish a novel this year, but if I keep finding and using excuses, I will not).

The weight I've lost this time has been earned by small, easy, even lazy changes. You don't need to make huge changes, but you do have to make consistent ones. If starting big intimidates you, start small (but be ok with small results).

The biggest killer of weight loss is the fact that it's entirely normal to abandon the attempt. It's certainly normal, and almost a mandatory cultural tradition to get bored/frustrated and give up. You've got to choose to "rebel" a little and refuse to follow the normal (unsuccessful) path.