Ahhh....

Well, #1 you are hot and gorgeous and you have a fabulous life, so if/when you go, know in your soul you are fabulous!

#2, if even a little part of you wants to go, GO! If you don't you can't get the choice back.

#3, I 've seen your pole dancing pics and your arms are great! WIll there be poles at the venue?

Reunions are tricky. High school was not this wonderful, idyllic time that it was for so many of my classmates. I wasn't a girl who was super popular. I didn't go to most of the dances. At one of my reunions a few years ago, one of the "popular" girls said, "I never realized that not everybody thought that high school was a ton of fun!".

People do grow up and become different. It hadn't happened to most of my classmates by the 10th reunion, sad to say. But we are from a very small town and there is a marked small town attitude here.

I think that if you go, you should rock those firm, toned arms. You do NOT have arms like a man, silly girl. But if you decide not to go, that's OK too. I just had my 30th this year and finally there were no cliques. Like saef said, people were looking scarily like their parents and many of them have grown up. It's about time!

Oh, I'm totally going. Not going would be letting high school, you know, WIN. And I'm far too competitive to allow that, not to mention it'd be silly because I am not the person I was in high school, and neither are these people

And genuinely, there are some people there I want to see. So there's that. And also, we have a dual-reveal going on...my male best friend was at least as big as I was, and now he's very thin as well. I had two signatures in my yearbook predicting that I'd marry this guy when we were both bigger, and now we're both skinny and gay. And yes, we're arriving together.

And I don't really believe in "writing people off". The fact is, no matter who they were in high school, there could be new friends in that room. Or people who are engaged who I can network with so my wife can do their wedding flowers. Or etc.

But it always bothers me the worst when I can SEE the ridiculousness of my feelings but still feel that way.

Saef - you are absolutely right - I am picturing them all as little grown up versions of their 18 year old selves. Which is not accurate. Thanks for the reality check!

Mindi - I'm pretty sure no one will recognize me either. I've run into quite a few people out and about when I go back to my hometown, and they walk on by. A few times I've had to actually introduce myself. Which is also a little awkward.

Everyone feels this way about me. When I first got my job, I was 23 and immediately got put on a Very Important Project with Very Important Clients. I had to travel out to their site in Minnesota, and was there with my boss and a VP. The VP asked how old I was, and I told him, and he said "hmmm. Maybe we won't tell the client that. They'll never know, anyway...you're sort of...timeless". Apparently I can morph to whatever age in the 20-40 area, personality wise. Which is good!

Windchime - I'm not sure it'll happen by 10 year for us, either...I'm from a very insular town, with a lot of people still living there and still in the same groups (which I know because of Facebook...seriously, one of the popular girls got married, and her bridal party was the stuff of my high school nightmares). Which is part of the concern. But even if they ARE mostly the same, I AM NOT.

So - inventory. What's the worst that could happen? I could be ignored by everyone and disappear. Or, I guess, someone goes nuts and into high school mode and says something snarky. Which would be ridiculous of them, and I'd just walk away, right?

And the best that could be happen could be really positive!

Another reality check - I just went through my yearbook. There were 226 people in my class. Of those, I am neutral or positive to all but 8 of them. Granted, they were 8 really nasty girls. That's still 3% of the class. Am I going to let 3% of my graduating class make me feel this way?

HECK NO.

Ah, there's the mojo I was missing. You girls are awesome, seriously.

You have a great attitude, Amanda. Go and have fun. I look forward to hearing how it went.

My 40th reunion is next year. I haven't been to any of them and felt no desire to go. However, since becoming Facebook friends with several people from H.S. (much to my surprise), I've found myself looking at these people in a different light. People whom I thought were popular and self-confident, unlike me, didn't think they were popular and weren't self-confident. What?!?!? People who appeared to have wonderful families, well, things were going on behind closed doors that no-one knew about. So I'm planning on going to my 40th next year and looking forward to it.

Great attitude favorite one

Listen....even if they don't admit it...most people have "thoughts" about going back to their reunions....

will they remember me?...hope they don't

is my hair/tummy/on and on and on "compatible" with everyone else..

If it isn't fun you can just leave...

I remember years ago...'92...a gal church friend of mine and I went to school together...we had common friends but in school were not friends ourselves...over the years at church we became closer.

When the 20 year reunion came up I told her...See you there...she said nope...why? because I am so heavy now...I wouldn't go to the 10 because of it...long story short I talked her into it...go with me and some of my friends for support...she did...had a great time, thanked me for encouraging her and said she probably wouldn't ever go again but will always remember how nice it was to see old friends and some of them are just like me ...NORMAL!

You have grown since you graduated in a different way than many others...go show it off

Have a great time!

Sheila -- I've started to realize that a lot of the problems I had in HS were a result of my lack of self-esteem, and tendencies toward depression. I think if I did go to a HS reunion I would see people in a diff light too (I'm getting peeks of that on FB too)!

Amanda,
Josh only your 10 year? Go ENJOY & strut your stuff, you are going to make jaws drop young lady! By the way, tonite is my 25th reunion! . FYI, at my 10 & 15 year reunions, it was still pretty clicky and most of the girls who at graduation had the tiny hamburger buns for butts now had the 3 axe handle wide @sses and the heavier gals from graduation got skinny, pretty neat to see actually! I chuckled to myself because the skinny lil biotches who thought they were all that and a bag of chippies were NOT anymore!!!!!!! I'm gonna have my ever transformed guns on display this year in sleeveless, we shall see if I get any you look like you can kick my @ss comments! Hubby says I look like I can give a punch and certainly take one too! Enjoy yourself girl, no worries! . Be sure you let us know how it goes, k?

"I returned, and I saw that under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happens to them all."

Jay

You are all right. Not guaranteeing that I won't have some additional moments of panic before I go, but being so confident in other areas of my life, why on earth wouldn't I be confident in this? These people don't control me OR how I feel about myself.

Lifted heavy yesterday and admired those muscles in the mirror. I worked for them! I deserve to feel good about them!

to all of you, you're seriously wonderful.

Totally rock those arms at your reunion, honey. You look fabulous, and have so many great things in your life that you should enjoy showing off at the reunion.

The dress is a great one, by the way. Love it.

My 20th reunion is next month and I am a little anxious about going myself. I'm already on my second dress, and still not fully satisfied. I wasn't the most girly girl in high school, and I totally want to be for this.

My 20th is this Fall and I am already anxious about it... and "on paper" I am the girl who should be looking forward to my reunion... but I agree that reunions bring back all of those high school insecurities. And yes, even the cheerleaders had them.

I will be going with my four dear girlfriends though, and I'll go anywhere just to spend time with them!

To be sure, people will not recognize you. There were a couple of people at my 10-year who had changed so much, it was hard to wrap my brain around the fact that it was the same person. One was a woman who had lost maybe 30 pounds, and had adopted a much different look hairwise, clothing-wise -- I've known her since 3rd grade but I really couldn't believe it was her! Another was a girl who went from punk-rock rebel to a long-flowey-hair, slip-dress-wearing bombshell. Vavoom! All the guys were drooling. So remember, if they're staring -- first they're trying to "place" you, then they are admiring you!

You're probably nervous because you're remembering all the bad stuff they did to you, and how will they take you now,
Just keep in mind that you look great, you feel great, you're healthy and beautiful and have the life you want- so why not enjoy yourself? Show off the body you worked so hard to get, and be proud!
This upcoming year will be my third year of high school, and the first when I don't walk in being overweight. The only thing I won't like is knowing that people are going to remember me as being overweight, and then not anymore. I don't like being labeled as the girl who lost all that weight -_- (though I didn't have all THAT much weight to lose- just 35 lbs)

Oh Sweet Moses, Amanda! I just went through this exact same experience. 10 year reunion was last weekend. I felt and was scared of everything you described. In fact, I didn't even decide until the morning of whether or not I was going.

What is it about high school reunions that bring back every single insecurity we had back then? In H.S., I was not as nearly as heavy as I would go on to be, but in a world full of very thin, very blond girls, the 150 lb short brown haired chubby girl that I was definitely stood out like a sore thumb. I was dorky, I didn't play sports, I had my group of friends but I was absolutely not popular.

There were boys who were a little nasty to me, and one girl in particular that I absolutely loathe now. I worried they would be there.

And yes, that devil on the shoulder showed up. I thought to myself, I'm so thin now, and I have sooo much to be proud of. But then I started dissecting myself: my arms are too flabby. I still have a little roll on my tummy. And my butt? never going to be small. At the start of summer, I started thinking that I should lose 10 lbs... yeah, that'd make everything better. My body had other ideas, by the way... those 10 lbs never came off.

But I WENT and I wanted to tell you - I am SO GLAD that I went. Everything that I was afraid of happening didn't happen. I felt good about myself. And the best part was those pretty skinny blond girls coming up to me and saying "you look so good!" "I saw you're running half marathons... I am so impressed!" "I could never do what you do!" Full circle, my friend.

It was very surreal, and very cathartic for me. I think you will find the same experience.

So folks...this is tonight. Any last minute mojo is much appreciated!

Rock that dress girlfriend! The nasty gals kill em all with kindness & your hotness! . Have FUN & knock back a stiff one b4 u get there, that outta take the nervous edge off .