Welcome, Mimi!

Great idea for a thread!

Oh My I've got so many...

-I'm afraid I'll never be good enough.

-I'm terrified no man will ever love me because of the saggy tummy and boobs. I can't and most likely will never be able to afford a tummy tuck or breast lift.

-I'm afraid that no matter how I police myself, the weight will come back.

-I hate that I cannot look in the mirror and see what others see.

I confess!!

I ate 1/2 of a large papa murphy's pizza last night! But the scale was kind to me this morning!

1. I trash talk the skinny girls who wear the booty shorts. I don't want to wear those things but wish I could.
2. I was happy to get Lime's disease because it killed my appetite.
3. Even though I don't want children, I'd feel happier if the explaination for physique was something due to a lack of self control w/ sex instead of food.
4 I haven't had sex since November due to my husband's illness. In some ways I'm glad for it so I don't have to be naked. Even at my smallest I've never, ever felt sexy with anyone.
5. I tried to find reasons to get my jaws wired shut, and have looked into braces not to straighten my teeth but the soreness involved would limit food consumption.
6. As much as I wish I was past loving junk and fast food, I still preffer it flavor wise to grilld, healthy fare.
7. Even though I'm married, I always felt like the plan B girl, the consolation prize, the funny side kick instead of the leading lady.
8. I'm unable to see my family this month, I probably won't see them until December....part of me is happy because it gives me time to lose weight.
9. If cigarettes weren't so expensive and if my husband would n't smell them on me, i'd smoke instead of emotionally eat.
10. I want to lose 30 lbs, to get to 150, so I can either be a kidney donor to my husband or be healthier so I can take care of him....I'm hoping that my love for someone else will motivate me better than my love for myself.

--this is great therapy, this thread. thanks.

Ugh. So so many.

~ I'm afraid, reading other posts, that all my fluffy sweet daydreams of being skinny are going to be shattered. That my boobs will deflate and be ugly. That instead of having a semi-flat tummy (currently i'm VERY round in the middle, it's bigger than my DDD boobs!!) it'll be ugly and flappy and gross.
~ I was, until age 21, at most 135 pounds. My boobs were always a C cup and "normal". Now, as a DDD cup, my areola are HUGE. palm-sized. I'm afraid that when my boobs shrink, I'll be all areola, lol.
~ I met the wife of a 2nd cousin at a reunion yesterday. He's a marine, she's an ex-marine, a little younger than me. She's beautiful and thin. He's hot but I can't think about a relative being hot, lol. I found it much easier to talk to her, be comfortable around her, when she said she was 200 pounds for awhile after an injury. And I had newfound respect for him when she said she was at that nearly 200 pounds when they first dated. That he was man enough to see HER and not her chub? Makes him awesome to me.
~ I long to be at a gathering and no longer look around, realizing i'm the biggest one there.

OMG, yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate that moment when you're sitting in a classroom or whatever and you look around and realize that you're the biggest person there. It sucks!!!

love this thread.
-what will my hanging belly(AKA my fanny pack) look like when i reach my goal will it still sag or will it tighten up???
-I am worried of getting attension from other men, and wanting to flirt back eventhough i love my boyfriend.
-i am worried I'll gain it all back
-I wonder if he really thinks i am sexy( he says I am) or if it's my persoanlity he loves, and he just puts up with my fanny pack and rolls.
-after losing over 40 lbs I still feel like a whale

Wow, this thread is amazing! When it was first started I typed in my response but was afraid to post it!

-When I lost weight 6 years ago, I barely ate, and when I did I had such guilt I would make myself throw it all up. I felt so powerful and in control when I ate very little calories. I used to challenge myself to eat less and less everyday. My period stopped and my hair was falling out. It was awful

-My husband prefers larger girls. I know he finds me more attractive heavier, but I don't care.

-I won't attend functions where I have to see old classmates. There is a grad party coming up the weekend of the 10th for the daughter of a old friend from school. I don't want to go because I don't want them to see me so heavy.

-I loathe exercise. I have no idea how I'm going to start up an exercise habit.

-I constantly compare myself with other women. If they are smaller I feel so gross around them. If they are larger I feel happy : ) Makes me feel like a terrible person.

- I confess that I've thought about throwing up my dinner because I thought I ate too much. But I never do. I keep it down because it is the only way to punish myself for eating too much.

- I confess that I've been emotionally eating in the last week.

- I confess that even though I weigh less that my two best mates, I still feel as though I weigh more than they do put together.

- I confess that I want to weigh 125; my goal weight is 150.

- I confess that I'm getting so frustrated at not losing the weight I've considered eating nothing but apples and salad.

- I confess that I hate getting up at 6am to go to the gym for 7am.

- I confess that I look at the overweight students at school and wish to God they would stop eating so they wouldn't have to go through the same crap I'm going through at 30.

- I confess that I've got a lot more secrets that are too dark to write about; they scare me.

I confess:

I have thought about not losing weight because my MIL will feel like she won. She accused me of not liking her daughter because she's skinny and I'm fat when the truth is that I don't like her because she's a shallow, nasty witch who has been nothing but snarky to me since the day I met her.

I save room in my calorie plan most nights to have a Skinny Cow - I feel like I'm cheating - it's not healthy.

I sometimes save a huge chunk of calories so that I can get a small blizzard at Dairy Queen.

I drink way too much Diet Coke.

I dread seeing my sister this weekend because I haven't seen her since I've lost weight and I hate drawing any attention, but if she doesn't notice, I'm going to be mad.

I will let myself get a migraine from not eating rather than eat from a fast food place if we're traveling.

Part of the reason I want to lose weight is so I'll look cute in my new car.

I'm afraid I'll always look pregnant - this tummy isn't going anywhere!

This should feel libertating...so here goes...
1. I stop and eat an ice cream cone once a week on my way home for work(I count it into my calories) but I still feel guilty.
2. I feel like I will never reach my goal weight even if I continue to lose.
3. I loathe when people compare my weight loss to my husbands as he has lost alot more weight than I have. I feel as though I get the pity "well you look good to".
4. Even though I am a math teacher and love numbers, I despise counting calories!

Along the same lines...I confess that when I look at young children who are very chubby I feel sad b/c I know what they are going to have to go through as they get into middle school and high school...and I wish I could shake their parents and wake them up and tell them "MAKE YOUR KIDS EAT HEALTHIER! MAKE THEM GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY AND RUN!!!"

Ok, so this seems to be very liberating for everyone so I'll give it a try...

~ when I look at overweight people I think to myself, are you kidding me? Stop eating.
~ I hate listening to people complain about their weight and not do anything about it.
~ I'm worried that I'll have all this extra skin when I reach my goal weight.
~ I say I would like to weight 150 but secretly I would love to weight 135.
~ I'm afraid I won't know how to maintain my weight when I do reach my goal
~ I'm worried that my best friend won't be happy for me as I go thru my weight loose journey and that she'll resent me when I do reach my goal.
~ I'm scared my boobs will hang low and wobble to and fro.

There's more but I'll stop for now. I feel guilty for being so honest.

Don't feel guilty. That's the point of this thread...to get out all those things you don't normally say b/c you KNOW what it'll sound like to others. This thread is no judgments, no criticism...just people letting it all out.