OH that must feel incredibly gratifying and totally wonderful - 5x - nada X. Plain ole' large!!! What an AMAZING accomplishment. Stop being so down on yourself!!! Look what you've done. Just look. You have done what most people only dream of. You and you alone have made that dream a reality. Congratulations doesn't seem special enough , but I'll say it anyway - congratulations!!!
I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough personal time of it. But just think how much tougher it would be if you were 220 pounds heavier than you are now. Talk about tough! I know you will progress forward. You're not going back. You know better. You've got to keep forging ahead because the alternative is no longer an option.
I hope you feel better soon (you certainly look marvelous) and I look forward to hearing of your continued progress.
