Do you feel that this makes people uncomfortable?

When people comment(which is rare) I tend to do as you do--say thank you for the compliment, and tell them what I've lost. There tends to be silence and then we go on our ways. To me, it's rude to comment about weight (even as a compliment--for all you know someone has cancer and that's why they're so thin now!) and it generally makes me uncomfortable. If I just skirt the comment, I am left feeling uncomfortable whereas if I elaborate I somehow "get control" of the conversation.

I take ALL compliments with pride. If somebody comments on my weight loss, I don't care how they do it, I respond proudly and say "Yep, I've lost 25lbs!" with a big smile on my face. I mean it's obvious that I have lost weight (I'm finally realizing this), so to say something like "eh, I may have lost a bit" as if it wasn't intentional would just be denying the obvious.

If somebody wants to backhand compliment me, that's fine, I'll take that too. Point is, they have noticed my weight loss and that makes me feel good. A lot of the times, I don't think people *mean* to backhand compliment, they just don't know how to word it without obviously stating "did you lose weight?" Either that, or they're just jealous that they haven't lost weight and are trying to put me down to make me feel better. Won't work, sorry!

I suppose it also took me completely by surprise as I got down to 140 pounds a year ago - I don't really get those comments anymore. And they did feel better when the loss was fresher. Now the attention is more uncomfortable - I'm quite happy not to have any comments on it anymore. Plus, it was a loud exclamation in a room with other people.

Mostly, I was just surprised at how crude people can be. I just didn't think that "You look great" was so inaccessible to most people.

I agree that commenting about people's weights is just rude, even if it was meant as a compliment. When I lost a good bit of weight a while back, people would say, "You look great!" This was almost, nearly EVERY TIME, followed by a "how much weight have you lost?" How is that anybody's business? I would just shrug and say, "I have no idea--I don't weigh myself." What I should have said, is something like, "50 pounds, but that was before I had my heavy period. Now that I'm on my light days, I might be a couple pounds lighter. Anything else completely personal that you feel you have the right to know about me?"

Yeah, it's like...

"HOW ARE YOU NOT FAT?!"

Uh...thanks? .-.

I had a lady ask me "Have you lost weight or something?" and this is after losing over 70 pounds. Seems pretty obvious that I did! I was half tempted to say, "No, why do you ask?". Actually, though, getting comments means I've done a pretty great job with the weight loss, so I try to look at it positively.

I do get a lot of people asking "How much weight have you lost?". I'm a little shy about that one, so I usually just reply, "A lot!". I hate to give out the numbers because it's not that hard to put 2 and 2 together and figure out my highest weight. And I don't really know if I want to announce that to the world, kwim??? I've also had girls in my family asking what size I wear now. Kinda weird, but I think maybe they are trying to gauge my new weight against theirs??? I try to look at it all as positively as I can, because I'm proud of my hard work. But I can be selective about how much info I give out.

It sounds like it was a compliment for his type of personality.

A long time ago working in my mother's tax office when I had lost weight before, I had one of my mother's older tax clients say to me, "You are SO pretty, you lost alot of weight, you look SO good!" and then turned to my mother to talk business and said, "Now remember, I can be considered legally blind." LOL

I had two occasions where people that I knew and hadn't seen for a long time, literally walk right past me on the street and plenty other times where I had to introduce my self by name to people I've known for years. Then there were two other specific incidents where I was standing right near my DH and they asked him, "where's your wife?" I guess losing 165 lbs changes how a person looks a bit .

Julie, your comment drives me crazy. MY MIL does it to me all the time, not that I go there all that often, but she'll go to serve something and ask me, "are you allowed to eat this on your diet?". I'll skip the *allowed to eat this* portion for right now (that could be a whole other thread), and focus on the "on your diet" portion. ON A DIET???? Does she really think of what I did/am still doing as JUST A DIET?? This is no diet I'm on, no sireeee. This was a complete lifestyle overhaul and calling it some diet just does not give it the respect that it so rightly deserves.

Once a prof and I were having a non-work chat and he asked me if I were married. When I said no, he said, and I quote, 'Don't worry, you shall go to the ball!'

I had to giggle (For the record - the work relationship between him and me is such that I'm completely comfortable with him making a comment like that. And he knows that too, because otherwise he'd never make it )

Ok, I thought of one.

My boyfriend's aunt is Japanese. His uncle was in the military and married a woman when he was in Okinawa. She's about 65 years old and still has the Japanese sense of culture. Super sweet lady, she just doesn't always think before she speaks, lol. Very straightforward, lol...

Well I went over there, and the first thing she said was "You're not fat anymore! I liked you better when you were chubby!...come, I'll feed you." In front of a good chunk of the bf's family, mind you, haha.

A large chunk of my family comes from SE Asia, and they have something similar going on. It's like there's an innate need in the women to feed everyone! It's also genetic I think as when I'm cooking for people I always want to make sure there's enough, where 'enough' means 'feed til they burst' lol

(the flip side of this with my family was that they'd make snide remarks about me being so fat, and then in the same breath they'd try and make me eat more food. Weird)

I love it when people mention it one on one. Even if it isn't a straight-forward "compliment" it's good to know they noticed.

I was, however, both thrilled and mortified at a store recently. I hadn't seen the woman for over a year, and, in the middle of a crowded store, she yelled, "OMG you've lost so much weight!"

Could my cheeks have gotten any redder?

I honestly don't think it has anything to do with personality. Just lack of manners.

I guess it depends on the compliment and the person... how it can be taken... I had an acquaintance who asked me if I was married so she could point out that I should be and that she already was... (lil off topic but yeah).

Anyway, I'd love a real skinny comment, but I havent earned one yet. I have a couple friends that always ask me if I've lost weight even when I gain it, but that's just them being wonderful.....