It annoys me that fat is such a considered such a bad word - it's more acceptable to call somone a b- or even a syphyllitic whore, than by Gosh to call anyone fat.

I've told this story many times here, so if you've heard it before, please disregard.

I casually said something about myself being fat to a friend/coworker once at work, and she blurted out "you're not fat." My mouth dropped open, and I started laughing so hard, I nearly peed my pants. I was very nearly 400 lbs at the time, so the first thing that crossed my mind was "on what planet is 400 lbs not fat?"

I REALLY embarassed my friend, and she snapped (a bit miffed that I was laughing at her) "you know what I mean."

And sadly, I did - "fat" was such a terrible, awful, horrific thing - that her intelligent, confident, witty friend could not be such an unspeakable thing. I must be something else (and I'll slap anyone who says "fluffy.")

That's true- and honestly when my fat friends complain about being fat- I don't say "oh you aren't fat" I say "well you don't have to stay fat- you CAN do something about it" and leave it at that.

But if someone like my sister (who is like 120 lbs) says she's fat I roll my eyes at her lol. I think if she's fat then I must be a WHALE...

And I don't care for people who all the time say "omg I'm so fat" so people can say to them "you aren't fat..."

I have a friend like that, she's not overweight in any sense of the word, but she has her days . . . so I told her once "You aren't fat, Im fat, you're fine" she looked horrified that I would say that and told me "You are not fat!" (I weighed about 80lbs more than her at the time) long story short, since I said it, she hasn't complained about being fat anymore.

It's strange to me though that friends or anyone else would be shocked if I said it, I don't feel like it's a negative thing. I am fat, just like Im short . . . but maybe I don't feel bad because I'm taking the right steps to change it.
Who knows.

I didn't call myself fat because I cannot stand it when my friends do that--it always seems like they are fishing for a compliment or drama or something. I am meaning the times it is thrown into casual, friendly conversations--not when we are discussing something intimate. Weight issues can be very, very touchy to most people who are overweight, underweight, normal weight. Like politics and religion it's something I veer away from discussing unless I am very intimate with someone.

ETA: And for the women that have the tackiness to stand around at teency weights and complain about their "fatness" to the obese people around them--SHAME ON THEM! They KNOW what they are doing!!!! It would be the same as eating a huge roast in front of a starving person all the while complaining about it's dryness. Do know this though---they are doing it because they deep down, truly feel as if they have nothing to compete with BUT their weight. So sad!

With women, I think it's because there is a female game that centers around using the word "fat." This is the game, which is usually played in front of a mirror:

One girl (looking for reassurance & validation): I am so fat in these jeans.
Girlfriend (to make the other feel better): You are not fat!

This game is so pervasive that when a woman describes herself as "fat," my "feelers" are immediately out, checking out the atmosphere, trying to figure out if she is making a factual statement or if she's playing the game. My experience in the real life off this website is that 95% of the time, she's playing the game. And if I agree to play the game with her, my response is **supposed to be** denial of her fatness.

These days, I am not really into game-playing. She is probably not going to get the response she wants.

My husband calls it "bloat". Not quite as bad as "obese" but still.....

touche


And on the note of the skinny girls who say "i'm so fat" so you'll say "no your not"... Thank God I don't know anyone who does this these days because the only response I could bring myself to give her would be "you sure are!"

Fat is about the only term for carrying extra poundage that doesn't make me cringe. Obese is the worst. The word even looks bulbous typed out.

Chubby, fluffy, pleasingly plump, hefty, chunky, bulky, portly, pudgy, thick, curvy (grrrrr REALLY hate this one), rotund, voluptuous, heavyset... The list goes on and on. The word "fat" doesn't sugar coat the issue or degrade, it just tells it like it is.

When I was a kid, we had a neighbor (my best friend's grandmother), who would often complain to my mom about being fat. She was very thin, and my mom was overweight. It drove my mom crazy, because she always felt obligated to tell "Agnes" how great she looked.

One day (in a less-than generous mood), instead of saying "you're not overweight, you look great" my mom said "Hmm, it does look like you've put on a bit of weight."


Now Agnes may have been fishing for compliments (which seemed most likely, since the compliments always seemed to make her so happy - even as a kid of 9 or 10, it was rather obvious), or she may have had real body image issues, but regardless, she never mentioned weight ever again to my mom.

I Agree, though I don't mind curvy or voluptuous if they're used to describe someone who is only moderately overweight and fits the description (they're proportional and beautiful). Queen Latifah comes to mind. In Chicago, she was HOT! Curves and all.

I don't know that I've ever been curvy or voluptuous - only fat.

I think that's why I don't like those words! They have never described me. It's like curvy and voluptuous fat women are the only "acceptable" fat women in society. Grrr.

Okay, I'll admit here that I kind of like "stout," because it sounds a little retro. I've rarely heard anyone below a certain age use that as an adjective. It makes me think of a Helen Hokinson cartoon in the New Yorker. But it's definitely more jocular than "fat."

"Fat" sounds very "reclaimed" and in your face. Which, to me, is a good way to sound.

My sister and I both have chunky thighs (OK, we have fat legs) and when I have complained to her about it, she says that we come by it honestly because we come from "hearty peasant stock". That always makes me laugh. I'm not fat, I'm just descended from hearty peasant stock!

isnt it interesting that we hate obese when that is supposed to be the more medical/less pejorative word?

when i quit smoking about 5 years ago, I realized that one of the most important things i needed to do was be more accepting of myself and see things for how they really were. i'm fat. that's not a negative or a positive thing. it just is! And, ironically, by accepting myself as I am I become more capable of change because all that energy I used to use trying to delude myself or beat myself up can be directed towards more positive things!

I still make comments about my big butt at the office sometimes, mostly because it's really cramped in our office and my butt is still pretty big. With 40 pounds left to lose on a five foot frame, I have to keep the extra weight somewhere, you know?

But one of my coworkers gets on me every time I say anything about my butt. Then again, she also insists I can't possibly lose 40 more pounds, so who knows. People are weird.

LMAO, kaplods! That same girl I mentioned above called me a Jezebel the other day because I asked if a guy was cute. She basically called me a whore. Classy! But if I call myself fat she jumps all over me. Go figure.