Luckymommy, that was a fabulous post!

Huge kudos to you for facing your reasons "why" and doing something about it, to the best of your ability. I wish you all the luck and perseverance in the world!!

I think just about all of us, to one degree or another, has done the lose/gain/lose/gain/lose routine.

I'll tell you what worked for me.
I bought a scale and I got on it. Everyday. I used to think that was obsessive and at one point in my life, it might have been. Now, at 50, it's exactly what I need. I can't help being 50, but I CAN help being fat. I simply refuse to be old AND fat.

I've also simply changed how I look at food. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle. There isn't a plan I'm going to go off of, this is how I eat. I like eating lower fat and healthier foods. My choices = a low number on the scale, my clothes fitting, much more energy and just a happier me, all in all. That's who I want to be and no amount of ice cream is worth going back to fat and unhappy.

Keep looking for what works for you! You'll find it, and best of luck doing so!