Hang in there Tiara... one thing you can't change is old people. Its not right but some of them (including my mom) don't have filters.. what pops in their brain just spills out of their mouth (no filter).

I'm going to move this to support.. I think you'll get more responses there

My mom is similar in that she makes comments, but not ones that are quite so obvious. That really stinks, they're your family, they should support you!

You could sit down with her and talk about how she's making you feel (although I know that with certain people, this just won't work)

Another good response-someone on this forum suggested it (or something similar, I don't remember the exact line) to a poster who was dealing with odd comments about her weight--"Oh my, what a rude thing to say, you must be so embarrassed you said that out loud!" That will floor her!

Big huggles to you! I am sorry that your family is like that. I can't imagine not having my family support me in what I am doing. Just know that you are good no matter what size you are and that you are doing what's best for you!!

When I read your post, the first thing that came to mind was "this sounds like my extended family!" I'm Asian and I think this is part of the Asian culture. Weight is EVERYTHING to these people. Growing up, my sis and I were always chubby and my cousins were skinny. They used to make a LOT of snide remarks about our weight. When I gained more weight in my teens, I remember my mom CONSTANTLY telling me to stop eating. Even if it was a snack, she would always say "You're going to put on weight!!" Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and I'm fortunate to have a good relationship with her. As far as weight loss is concerned, I do better when I'm not living at home. Like now, my husband and I will visit my parents once every 2 months and she has been telling me that I look smaller. She's been supportive of my diet because my sister and dad are also controlling portions (otherwise she stuffs us with food) so she cooks less.

I just wanted to give you support. I tried talking to my dad about his hurtful comments during my teenage years and his response was "deal with it or lose weight". Um. Ok.

Have you thought about moving out? Or limiting your contact with your mother and grandfather? I would suggest talking to them on a need-to-know basis. The minute the topic gets diverted to your weight, just leave the room (if it's not considered too disrespectful) or change the topic quickly. Keep changing it until they get the hint. to you!

I am very sorry to hear that you have been treated so badly. You must feel terrible over it.

I just wonder what they would say if you said "Those comments really hurt my feelings. Please stop."

I wonder what they would say if you started to critque their wrinkles.

I think when we start to lose weight that sometimes people feel threatened. People do not like change. They get comfortable with us being fat. When we start to lose weight they see us getting a new life.

When I had lost 20 lbs my roommate started to act weird. First she started to deny that I lost weight "No you couldnt have! You look the same" then she went on a crash diet. A VERY unhealthy diet. She lost weight fast and kept asking me what I had lost. As if it were a competition.

I want to start by saying that you are beautiful. My heart really goes out to you on this matter. I have family members that I avoid to keep from hearing their rude comments. It is very hurtful to have someone make snide remarks about any physical aspect of your body. I took so much punishment from my aunt. I would smile and take it like I deserve it. She would embarrass me in front of people. Her last comment to me was that, "I was getting so big she couldn't imagine how I kept clothes".. I really laid into her. I cry when I'm mad and the tears came but I let her know how I felt. She hasn't said anything since. I really didn't want to get angry and lash out at her but she pushed it to far for to long. This doesn't work for everyone I know. Some people would have just argued back or not have cared.

I hope that you find a resolution and that you can continue to have a relationship with your mother. One that is healthy and loving. A mother should always try to uplift their children . I wish you the best!

Hi,

I am so sorry that you have to put up with that. AS IF BEING OVERWEIGHT isnt hard enough people always find ways to add more abstacles. I know what you feel. I go through that too. My parents and my younger brother are fit and fine. Have always been. My brother has like a six pack and even he stops exercising or dieting like now he still gets skinnier.

SO with them there is so much pressure. I understand what you feel. I hope you make your goal. There is no other way to shut those evil thoughts off!!

Thanks again for all the love and support. I really needed it. I found comfort in friends and am now refocused. I havent spoken to my mother since monday. She doesnt know im even upset with her and for right now im gonna keep my distance from her. Its just hard to face the fact that i cant confide in her and i know in my heart i never will.
On a happier note I jogged/walked 2 miles today and really feel good. I also ate very healthy and calorie smart and am ready for the big halloween night full of candy apples, brownies , cookies and red velvet cake.... not that ill be eating any of it im planing ahead and bringing my sugar free peanut butter cups with me ..
lots of love