You know, I don't think I would have put so much weight on toward the end if it hadn't been for the fact that I felt pretty darn good at 250 and 260....
I know what you mean... I had reached that point myself. I figured I was happy enough fat and that's just how it was going to be. That was all well and good except I was still getting fatter. Now, I'm one of those healthy and "strong as an ox" type women, so I just didn't think the weight was slowing me down....

I managed all the way through my thirties and most of the way through my forties carrying my morbidly obese body around my busy life.

But, I started to learn the hard way that the late 40s are totally unlike the early 40s. I started to REALLY wear out, put on weight at a faster clip, and develop some health problems.

I think that's part of why I wasn't that motivated to lose the weight: because I didn't think it was affecting me that much. I'm mean, sure, I wanted to look thin, but I was so used to being fat that I didn't really imagine any different.

Now that I've lost 50 pounds, I am starting to imagine how awesome another fifty would be-- if I feel this much better now, how much better would I feel then?

Am glad to hear you are back on track!

I think the effects of obesity catch up with everyone eventually and I'm just grateful that I realized what I was doing before I became so disabled that it would have been harder to lose the weight!

Don't we beat ourselves up a lot? Everyone makes mistakes - but those that need to lose weight are really hard on themselves!

I think it's great that you have moved back into a routine that you know works for you. You still have lost a lot of weight! Good for you!

I just keep putting on the weight - I'm so overweight now that I could be a contestant on the biggest loser - that's so sad...

I think I'm at about 235 and was 100 lbs. less when I got married. Likely has something to do with why my marriage is always skidding towards the edge - my DH hasn't gained an ounce since we got married. Of course, he didn't have 3 kids, our last when I was 43-1/2! But still, I have gained in the years AFTER I had my little girl. She's just turned 4 - so 4 years and putting on about 30 lbs. is wretched!

So, you're not alone. To me you're somebody who has found the key really - you already KNOW how to do this! You're fixing your mistakes.

You can do it - you've proven that to yourself!

TracyLewWho

im there with you, i understand that feeling but being on this site really is helping me and ive only been a member for a few days, I thought by doing this- blogging and getting support for my dieting efforts, I am accountable cant fail! ( i hope!)

I don't want to be thin.. I just want my clothes to fit better LOL! My problem is that I am L-A-Z-Y! The worst part is I KNOW for a fact that when I exercise (even just getting out and going for a walk) that i feel so much better and sleep better and make better choices and have a happier outlook on life! WHY don't I get up and do that? LAZY! LOL

Oh my goodness! I just read this entire thread and can so relate with the thoughts and emotions shared (a real rollercoaster!) Thanks for being transparent and helping me see that it is okay to have these feelings and now go and do something about it!

Feeling that way myself right now. The last few weeks the weight has been slow to come off and I am getting a bit frustrated trying to figure it all out. I know that it's worth it though and that's one of the things that keep me going. I want to NO longer be considered obese!!

Hang in there -- sounds like things are getting better for ya!

It's true. I do have two personalities. I've come to that conclusion myself. One part of me wants to be thin and beautiful. The other wants to eat and feel full and satisfied.
I used to think of this second part as something bad, something I had to get rid of. I also used to feel that this evil second self "attacked" me, made me lose control and binge.
Now I've come to consider both sides of myself, as "me". The part that wants to be thin, is me wanting to be thin. The part that wants to eat, is me wanting to eat. I cannot get rid of any of these sides. I have to take care of both of them. Satisfy them both. And make sure that neither of them takes control at the expense of the other.

I want to be thin and healthy. I will do what is necessary. I plan my meals, I make healthy choices. I work out regularly. That's how I take care of my "I want to be thin" side.
I also want to eat. I do not deprive myself. When it feels that my plan is too strict, I modify it. I accept and love the "I want to eat" side of me.

But above everything else, I want to take care of myself. When I was younger all I wanted was to get thin. Health was taken for granted.Now it doesn't feel that way any more. I'm forty and I don't feel so healthy being obese. I notice the other, older women, that I know. Some of them look nice and strong. Some others look really old. They walk with difficulty, they suffer from various illnesses. I don't want to be like that. I want to take care of myself.

So, our efforts are not for nothing. Losing the weight is just part of something greater. Even if we lose weight too slowly, or do not lose at all, it doesn't matter so much. We need to change our lifestyle.

Niki

Runundefined - ooh, I love Sedona -- so gorgeous! I hope you find your motivation again. I'm back to trying again after taking a year long break. Nothing changed for the bad during that year, but it didnt' change for the good either. I was stagnant, and realize that's not what i want...it won't change if i don't make it happen

I was just looking at your pictures of the 40 pound loss, and WOW, great change...imagine what another 40 pounds will do!

Looks like you're starting to walk again, and that's awesome....glad your funk may be behind you...

I'm setting a goal for myself so that I have something to work towards -- that way when I get frustrated, tired or bored of it all, i'll still have that goal in front of me...

I could have written this post. It was shocking to me to read someone elses words that so mirrored my struggle. I dont just mean in overall frustration and pain...I mean details. The amounts lost...the amounts gained back...the sickening feeling and disappointment you have in yourself for the backslide.

Girl...we could be twins!

I am 42, highest weight was 257. Got down to 194 using WW and brute physical force. Have recently gained back 20+ pounds and am struggling to not only lose weight but to stop the weight GAIN ;(

I feel like it is totally out of my control and the backslide has such a momentum that it feels unstoppable. How can this be happening? How can a grown woman not be in control of her own body?!

I have been struggling with my weight since I was 8 yrs old and I am tired. I am weary from the fight and really wanted this to be over by now. I have so many other things I wanted to be focusing on at this time in my life.

But my big problem now is that the struggle seems to be as much mental as it is physical. I know everything I need to do to tip the scale and yet none of that translates to the desire to get my *** off the couch or not abusing the snooze button every morning.

I belong to a fabulous gym...haven't been there in 3 weeks. I hate working out alone...it feels like punishment.

Well I am sorry that my first post was so whiney....I am usually more upbeat than this but the situation is really weighing heavy on me...literally!

Thanks for listening and I welcome any feedback!

L