Digging Deep -
Yeah, I'm a tennis player, I never had to run. I'm good at quick bursts of speed, not prolonged. I think I always shied away from running b/c of this (and my lovely shin splits). I even downloaded the C2K app on my iPhone, I just want to have one week where I can consistently do it, and that hasn't happened. Maybe next week, but I'm going to Seattle.
As for therapy - I'm very fortunate to have a best friend who's a therapist. While I know its not the same thing, she's actually helped me a lot with behavior modification - at least in controlling my attacks.
Over the past 10 years I've learned to control stuff through modification, as well as exercise.
My problem is just that I worry too much, then I get nervous, and it goes downhill. I'm actually really awesome in a crisis situation, I don't panic if I don't have time to think about it, I just do. Its the anticipation that will have me hyperventilating or not eating.
I also grew up in a house where we didn't talk...about anything...so I kind of don't know how, that's why the therapist didn't pan out. I just didn't know what to say - I feel the way I feel, but I don't know how to verbalize it well. Apparently after my mom died, my dad was the most worried about me because I just don't say anything (as opposed to my sister who says EVERYTHING) and he was freaked out by it. My response was - okay, for 26 years we don't talk about sh**, now you want me to pour my heart out? Doesn't work, buddy.
But, I'm also with kswood - when I started this it was more to fix myself as a whole, not just weight loss. My mom, grandmother, and great grandfather (all in the same line) died of cancer - so my main goal is to be a healthier person in general. Not being obese, eating healthy foods, and all of that (I expected) will contribute to me being a little big saner. Not totally, but maybe just a little bit
