Thank you, thank you.

Honestly, I just can't believe how long it took me to actually "get" it. It's almost embarrassing. Geez. I was really shrouded in excuses where my weight was concerned.. all the time. Daily. I guess I just never wanted to think any of it was my own fault. Now I feel kinda dumb. What a dork - couldn't see the forest for the trees. LOL!

YUP...I was the queen of excuses, heck, I was also the inventor of a few... But, thankfully I quit kidding myself. I think that is why I'm a little, (okay, a lot ) blunt sometimes, I see my own past behavior in other peoples posts and I think..."Oh man, I USED to say silly things like that"... As my Grandma used to say when I'd make up some lame excuse, "You can't kid a kidder".

It's funny though. I used to make up excuses, but deep down in my heart I always knew that they were just that...excuses.

Oh man, thanks for posting this - it gives voice to a lot of the stuff that has been rolling around in my head recently. Suffice it to say that over the last week I felt the same thing you mentioned feeling yesterday - having the power instead of the food having the power for the first time ever.

Sometimes I feel embarrassed that I am learning such elementary things as an adult but hey - better late than never.

[QUOTE=rockinrobin;2879707]

I couldn't necessarily figure out why I would turn to food, but it didn't matter anymore. I was done trying to figure things out, wasted too much time - and just took some action. Because in the end, none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was stopping the irresponsible behavior.

Yes! That's so true. I've been in therapy for years and I didn't really start getting better until I stopped thinking that understanding WHY I was depressed was what would heal me. Knowing WHY I wouldn't get out of bed wasn't what got me out of bed. Putting my feet on the floor got me out of bed! How we feel effects our behavior, but it's just as true that our behavior effects how we feel. I'm not saying its not important to figure out what's going on inside, but being in an upright position helps with that, too.

Being depressed didn't make me gain weight. Whatever happened in my past didn't make me gain weight. Putting too much food in my mouth made me gain weight. I can change what I put in my mouth. I can change how I cope with my feelings. Its not easy, but it IS simple.

Yes. I know what you mean about seeing yourself in other people's posts. And the thing is that we've got hindsight on our side. So it's all perfectly crystal clear to me (us), so when I "talk" it might (probably) comes off a little (a lot) "know it all-y" and - yes - blunt. Because I've been there. For a loooong time. And I finally woke up. And I want soooo badly to help others "wake-up" too. Because they can.

As for knowing all along that they were excuses, I think I may have, deep, deep down. But knowing it - and then doing something about it, are two different things. But it's an important first step to realize that they are indeed - excuses.

"being in an upright position helps with that too". I love this. LOVE IT. And I'm so glad you're on the mend.

sometimes i find myself wishing that it WAS the food, that it WAS other people. i know its my fault, i know i have to battle myself to battle the weight, its just...i know my every move! i know how to beat myself! it would be so much easier if i had to fight anyone or anything else. oh well, at least i know the enemy...its just too bad my enemy is also my greatest ally! whew, what a paradox.

Great thread! As a looooong time dieter (since I was 13) I've had to take a long hard look at myself more than once. However, I would continually refused to think I was eating from an emotional place because I've always felt that I had my emotions in check. I was lying to myself and over the last 4 years, I've come to realize just how self-destructive I've been with emotional overeating.

It was back this last May when I was driving in my car heading to work and feeling really humongous in my work clothes that I had my breakthrough moment. I had put on over 50 lbs that I had lost the year before and I was seriously depressed. I actually said the words out loud that I was a compulsive overeater. It was a real moment that seemed to free me just by saying the words. Then I had to tell myself that being an overeater who ate out of emotional circumstances was no excuse whatsoever. It meant that I would have to change my behavior and relearn how to eat which is what I've done since June 16th.

I really do feel that I've somehow gotten a handle on my eating and the steps I have to take to get the weight off for the first time in my life. It feels great! I still mess up, but it's getting easier and I'm relearning better habits that I will keep for the rest of my life.

Agreed! A paradox for sure. And I don't think that will ever go away.. the enemy might be less prominent, but will never go away. But one thing I do know, is that in the next year I will know so much more about myself and how to cope with all the issues that come along regarding my past food abuse. I'll emerge a much stronger person - and I'll have learned lessons that I am willing to bet a person who has been thin all of their lives might never learn.

I really admire all of you ladies (Lori, DC, Robin, & others) that have gone through this and have emerged on the "other" side. I can understand, now, why you would want to hang around here and try your hardest to help others "see" what's really going on. THANK YOU so much for being here for everyone else!

Pita - I feel the same - for the first time in my life I am actually in control! It's empowering.