I was wondering if anyone else had a problem!
I didn't live without 3FC, I just sat around getting fat.
Or, okay, I lived, but it was hard. I'm happy to be back, for sure.

When I first saw and read the first post, my first thought was "Of course," so I wondered why the OP was stating the obvious. Was it a criticism, or even a nasty dig to folks who were here and reading, but not losing? That was my initial impression, but wasn't sure any offense was meant, so I just avoided the thread and told myself I was probably over-reacting.

But it got me thinking, and I was drawn back to the thread, because I don't want anyone to think they aren't welcome here if they're not yet in an active stage of change. There's value in coming here, even if a person isn't ready to make changes yet, or if they've relapsed - even repeatedly. Don't be ashamed to come here just because you haven't fully succeeded - yet.

If you follow the stages of change model, someone coming here but not losing weight is at least already in the second stage and possibly the third stage of change - contemplation or planning, and that's a good thing.

For more info on a stages of change model, you can google and tons of sites are listed, here's one.

http://www.addictionalternatives.com...stagemodel.htm

The stages of change are:

Precontemplation (Not yet acknowledging that there is a problem behavior that needs to be changed)

Contemplation (Acknowledging that there is a problem but not yet ready or sure of wanting to make a change)

Preparation/Determination (Getting ready to change)

Action/Willpower (Changing behavior)

Maintenance (Maintaining the behavior change) and

Relapse (Returning to older behaviors and abandoning the new changes)


Relapses and cycling through the stages is more common than linear progress with no regression (just a fancy way of saying, no one is perfect). It's not so much like climbing stairs as rock/mountain climbing, where you're likely to lose your footing a few times and have to cover ground you've already covered.
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Personally, I've been on 3FC much longer than I've been actively losing weight. I never expected 3FC to be a magic cure, didn't expect 3FC to do the work for me, but as a tool - even when I'm not losing weight, it's been awesome in the contemplation and preparation/determination stages, not just the action stage.

3FC has helped me through all of the stages, even relapse - and while I know that 3FC won't MAKE me lose weight, I know that without it, I'm much more likely to revert to precontemplation stage - ignoring the problem altogether.

Where would I be if I hadn't found 3FC. Those years that I was here yet didn't lose - would I have gained if I hadn't been here? Probably.

So to anyone who is here and not losing weight yet, don't beat yourself up or feel that you're doing something wrong. If you're not sure you can or want to lose weight or put in the effort yet, that's ok too. Soaking up the good vibes, and seeing that change IS possible, may be what you need now. Don't be afraid to try the next step, but don't get too discouraged if you aren't making changes as quickly or as dramatically as you would like. Change is difficult, for a lot of reasons. Not giving up has a lot more to do with success than making incredible strides. Weight management is a race that the tortoise sometimes does win.

I hadn't even contemplated anyone thinking of it like that, and I hope that no-one took it that way!

It was more a dig at MY old way of thinking. I really believed that if I told myself I was on a "diet", or was a WW member or whatever, and jumped on the scales every week, regardless of what I did in between meetings, I should lose weight. Even though I wasn't actually actively doing anything about it!

I apologise to anyone who got the wrong impression, especially you, kaplods. I have the greatest respect for you and the other "old-timers" at 3FC, and would never intentionally offend or insult you.



ETA: I thought there were enough "me's" and "I's" in the original post to make it clear this was about me and me alone, and my wake-up call. Maybe there weren't and I wasn't as clear as I imagined.

Please don't worry about it, as I said I suspected I was over-reacting. And in rereading my post, I realize it sounded a lot harsher than I intended it (what I get for posting well past bedtime).

It's the weakness of this media. Not being able to use facial expressions, body language, or tone of voice increases the danger of misinterpretation (and there's plenty of risk of misinterpretation even in face-to-face communication).

I'm oversensitive on some issues, and I always try to remember that my first reaction isn't always accurate.

Your point is a valid one - often when we aren't succeeding, we can overlook the most obvious of reasons. Personally, when I was gaining or wasn't losing I always knew why, I just never knew why the knowledge didn't seem to make changing any less difficult (it took me a lot longer to figure that out).

I think that there are so many factors in weight loss, that there's very little that can be said that applies to everyone, but I do think that the single greatest cause of weight loss failure is hopelessness - feeling that failure (or even worse, a success that isn't seen to be "good enough") is proof that success isn't possible. The blame isn't always the same "I'm just too lazy," "it's just too hard," or "it's genetic," it doesn't matter whether the reason is internal or external, when you lose hope, you lose initiative.

Hope is perhaps the most valuable gift that 3FC has to offer. By seeing the success (and the struggles) that others are facing, have faced, and even have conquered, gives me hope that even though it often seems like I've failed more than I've succeeded, failure is not inevitable.

I thought the intent of the OP was clear, myself. No explanation needed!

Jay

Unfortunately, kaplods, I thought the exact same thing and responded instead of just leaving the thread like you did and thought it through a bit. I deleted my response, though I do think that others MAY take it the way that we first did and not be so inclined to respond if their newer to the board?

My feelings as well. It took awhile for me to jump back on the "I can do it AGAIN!" wagon this last time, but I read here almost daily, and sometimes all it takes is reading one post, or hearing from someone who has inspired you before, and back on the wagon we go. I remember one time I was embarrassed a couple of years ago and said so, and everyone made me feel welcome again and told me not to be foolish and that they were glad I was back. Without that support, Lord knows how heavy I would be right now, and what other medical problems I'd have!