Ms Breannaj, it IS exhausting! Getting into a routine! Figuring out what you want to eat and how! Monitoring it! But I think it becomes second nature, and I look forward to the day when I prefer broccoli to cookies (it DOES happen, and I want to go to there...)!
Hang in there -- you'll figure it out!
Kira

Cheat meals, reset meals, eating at maintenance meals, splurge meals all mean the same thing to me... TO ME it means that I stand a chance of doing some damage weight wise in the WRONG direction. I want to lose weight. I want to lose weight quickly and healthfully. These types of meals don't work for ME but that's not to say they don't work for others.

I do eat things the odd time that are not a part of my regular food plan. Last night was my anniversary so hubby and I went out for Sushi. GOOD sushi. I planned for that meal. I ate light all yesterday in preparation for last night and came in just under my calorie level of 1700 for the day. I enjoyed my meal, stayed on plan, kept my calories on plan and STILL had a great time.

I would argue it depends on the plan (apologies in advance if this is what you meant).


If losing weight fast is a priority, then cheats or refeeds (pick your term) are probably not a good idea. But if one takes weight loss slowly, cheats/refeeds can be very helpful in the long run, even if it does 'some damage weight wise' in the short run. I know, it's not really part of the conventional dieter's wisdom, but some folks (like myself) are okay with that

Well, you see, for me, I've re-thought what a "treat" is. A treat for me now is some fresh, luscious berries - blueberries, raspberries, strawberries. A treat for me now is a huge plateful of fresh spaghetti squash topped with cooked zucchini, onions, mushrooms, stewed tomatoes and garlic and sprinkled with Parmesan cheese. A treat for me is a piping hot bowl of homemade tomato barley cabbage soup.

Adding in a "cheat" meal for me, meant keeping my cravings for "those foods" at a high. I needed to dry up my wants and desires for "those foods". The longer I went without "those foods", the less and less I wanted them. I needed to essentially detox from them. I'm pretty sure an alcoholic wouldn't add in a "treat shot of vodka" once a week . So no, cheating for me was pretty much out of the question.

I've heard that some people feel deprived when they don't have "those foods" and therefore add in a "cheat meal", but that was never, ever the case with me. I felt deprived being/staying fat.

We all have to decide what is best for ourselves though.

You know what Drina? I think that's AWESOME that it works for you I wish it could work for me. But losing weight quickly with my blood clotting disease is a huge priority. That's not to say that I don't work my much wanted "treats" into my plan because sometimes I do. I have my sushi, or popcorn. It's all good!

I'm with RockinRobin on this too... because a TREAT for me was my sandwich today... a whole wheat ww bagel with laughing cow cheese and grilled chicken, red onion, lettuce and mustard. OMG best tasting thing ever. I really LIKE that my tastes have changed so much

You see that's the thing and for many, many others, though of course not all. But for many. When you make room for "those foods", you're just keeping your wants for them at a high level. It keeps them on your mind, it makes the journey more difficult (for some) and who the heck needs that. When you get rid of "those foods" for the most part, you no longer desire them. MIRACLE *for me*. MIRACLE. And get this - you begin to really, really, crave/want/desire/LOVE the GOOD nutritious stuff. Your tastes/thoughts change. MIRACLE *for me*.

I was on a program, a MISSION to GET HEALTHY (and lose weight), and really, "those foods" just didn't have a place. I'd had more then my share of them when I was in the GAINING/UNHEALTHY portion of my life. When you give up "those foods", what are you giving up essentially? Oh my. Let's see. Some fat. Some sugar. Some words you can't pronounce. Some what have you. It's not like you're giving up something incredible, out of this world BENEFICIAL. It's not like you're giving up diamonds and emeralds for stones and sand. Quite the opposite.

I'm not sure why this "method" always seems so unheard of, far-fetched, undoable and extreme to some people. But hey, we're all different. And that's fine. Really, it is.

Emphasis mine.

It's interesting that you phrased it this way, because that's basically what I've done, gotten rid of processed and less nutrient-dense foods for the most part. Most of my diet is composed of fruits, veggies, fish, beans, nuts, and lean meat, many of the "treat foods" you discussed in one of your previous posts. I just haven't forbid myself entirely from eating them.

I guess the cheat day is just destined to be misunderstood.

.

From what I am reading, and I AM a newbie, RockinRobin and Drina, both of you are saying the same thing, just differently.

I don't think Drina is saying go off and eat a whole box of donuts and I don't think RockinRobin is saying NEVER have another donut again for as long as you live.

My re-feed days so far just give me MORE of the healthy stuff I am already eating. I did have to break down and eat a Little Debbie just because I was not really hungry and I couldn't figure out what else to eat to give me about 200 extra calories for the day. I had already had 3 cups of milk and I was stuffed, haha.

I think that is what re-feed days should be for. Not an all-out splurge on the things you shouldn't eat, but a little bit of a splurge on more of the foods that you can. Yesterday was a re-feed for me and luckily it fell on my son's birthday party day. I did have a piece of cake, about what would equal 1/4 cup, and then a little less than 1/2 cup of Blue Bell Low-Fat, No Sugar added at 100 calories per 1/2 cup. For dinner, we had regular spaghetti and I weighed and measured everything. But I ate 4 oz of angel hair pasta, 4 oz of ground chuck hamburger meat with 1/2 cup spaghetti sauce and 1 piece of whole wheat toasted garlic bread.

I keep my re-feed days within a certain calorie range also, just like my other days and for me, yesterday was 1800. I went over by 24 cals, so that piece of cake and ice cream didn't do too much damage.

I think you are both saying to eat these things very, very infrequently. So birthday cake is not going to be a frequent thing for me and hopefully for others also.

Well, I'm not sure if we're saying EXACTLY the same thing .

Funny, you picked "donut" to use as an example. That's one of the few items I've yet to have since I started this venture. *To me* they are the BIGGEST waste of calories, bar none. Of course, that's not the issue here.

I know I personally don't like the term "re-feed". I feed my body EXACTLY what it needs & requires every single day of the week. I don't wait for a particular day to re-feed it. Just me, but that term makes no sense. But it doesn't have to make sense *to me*. Cause' we're all different.

I think especially in the very, very beginning it is vital and ESSENTIAL to stay away from "those foods". I think by doing it, it helps greatly to seize that all important and lacking control issue. Just because we want something - well, it doesn't mean we HAVE to have it. That was a biggie for me.

After eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted for many years, and suffering the consequences, I personally LOVED & ADORED having set limits and boundaries. DEFINITE NO's. It was wonderful for me. I took away the power from the food. "Those foods" no longer called out to me the second I made them "off limits'.

RockinRobin:

I do agree with you in that it is essential in the beginning to ban those things. (I don't like donuts either, I won't say I hate them, but I don't care for them and don't even know why that popped into my head).

And I only use the term "re-feed" because for me, it is not cheating. It is only for the purpose of eating at maintenance level rather than a calorie deficit. To me, that is not cheating. I guess re-feed does sound rather dumb if you are feeding yourself to begin with but I refer to it as such because that is what others have called it and they will know what I am talking about when I say it. Now for cheating...cheating to me is doing something you KNOW you are not supposed to do or is not on plan and should never be on plan. Losing weight is only part of the plan. Learning to eat right is the other part. Probably harder than actually losing the weight for some. Eating at maintenance is not cheating otherwise those who are on maintenance level would not maintain.

Mentally, and this is just me dealing with my own self here and knowing how I can EASILY influence myself and talk myself into things (that is one of the very reasons I am here in the first place, lol), to go around all day calling it a cheat day, one thing could/would lead to another and then I am completely off plan. And once the weight is off, if I have ANY ideas in my head that I lost XX amount of weight while limiting calories but I still had cake twice a week, I can now eat it 4 times a week and not gain. I don't want that to happen and then here I am, back trying to lose 10 lbs all over again because of those foods. So I definitely don't have any intentions of sneaking those things back in once I reach goal. I will continue to plan my meals just like I am doing now, just at a higher calorie level.

It probably would help those that have no idea of what the whole re-feed thing is, to explain that we are not, for instance, on 800 calorie diets and "re-feed" or "pig-out" one or two days of the week. And calling it "eating at maintenance level" would make it easier. But whoever came up with the concept apparently decided to term it re-feed because that is all that I have ever seen.

So I get everything you are saying. And I still think you and Drina are saying the same thing, just maybe not exactly

I wanted to add that I LOVE what you said about the control...the food no longer has control over you when YOU CHOOSE not to eat it. THAT is an extremely important aspect of losing the weight. Gain control, lose the weight. Simple, yet difficult.

A few people here at 3FC totally disagree with this, but I feel it really helped me, so I'll tell you how I handled treats in the early days, (first 130 pounds). I DIDN'T! I did not eat 1 thing off plan for well over 100 pounds lost. I just couldn't bring myself to take the risk of throwing in the towel. Everyone is different, but many of us girls have a terrible time with treats...so bad in fact that we eat them so often that we manage to take our body weights up to 250+ pound range. I started "lifestyle changes" dozens of times and thought I should be able to cheat every now and then because I was NOT on a diet, but a lifestyle change....well, I hate to tell you that a rose is still a rose by any other name! I found through MANY attempts that one treat triggered an emotional abandonment of my plan.

If you think you can cheat and get right back on the wagon...then more power to you, but I'm willing to bet the farm that if you start "cheating" now, you'll give up before you ever hit 200. (This is my humble oppenion.)

That kind of thing works fabulously for some people, and terribly for others. You just have to do what works for you. The thing is that "should" has nothing to do with it. Whatever is, is.

I was thinking something similar. Who in the world are these "girls at work" to tell YOU what YOU should do? Do they have any experience with losing large sums of weight? That anyone can say for sure, for sure, for sure THIS is what you SHOULD do, is absurd. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they were trying to be helpful. Seems like the kind of help we can do without thankyouverymuch.

That being said, LoriBell, once again, you got to the heart of the matter. That's exactly it.