that's so great, and i couldn't agree more!!! I can't count the number of times I went on a diet, half-heartedly at best, and was so disapointed that i wasn't skinny by the end of the week. I thought that eating Lean Cuisine was the only way to salvation, I didn't clue in that the trouble was INSIDE. I could always turn a critical eye to OTHERS and see their flaws and weaknesses. But I never turned the mirror around until recently, and took a good hard look and noticed all the things i love about myself, and a few things I wanted to work on. That's made all the difference - i feel like i was living in a fog almost, just going day by day, in a happy fun life but not really AWAKE if that makes any sense. I feel like the alarm bells went off and i'm UP now!!!

I really like how you ended the post - with a "if anyone's teetering on the edge and this can help" I think that's great, sometimes we don't know the power of the written word or a nicely phrased sentence, sometimes it can resonate with someone in a way you could never have anticipated.

Awesome and inspirational post. Yes, no more looking back thinking "what if" -- it totally is a new life. You are wonderful

DC... I could have written this post. Thank you for saying exactly what is in my brain. I am so freaking proud to share this journey with you my friend

Wow so many great responses.

I know I'm doing something right if Robin agrees with me.
Yes, Jen, He did.
You too, Tammy.

Some days I get really frustrated and mentally complain and beat myself up for 1) letting myself get so enormous; 2) not doing anything about it for so long then 3) it taking so long for the weight to come off even though I'm 100% OP [yes I lost 99 lbs in 6 months but I've been on plateau since the middle of February].

But then I make myself stop beating myself up. NO MORE BAD ATTITUDE. I am doing it. This is what I do. This is who I am. It's not like I'm going to get to goal weight and immediately start eating Reese's cups again. No more, I'm done. So I'm just going to stay patient and be my own #1 cheerleader...because I deserve it.

I read a post by my friend Colleen recently (kaplods) where she was talking about being seen in a bathing suit and she said something like, 'I have as much right to be on this planet as anyone.' She certainly does. We all do. But up until quite recently, I couldn't have said to you that DCHound has as much right to ________ as anyone. I didn't feel that way about myself. Now I do. More than yesterday. And a bit more tomorrow. Join me, won't you?

You bet! I am so there!!

DC, I also would completely agree with ALL of your post. My experience has been similar to yours as well. I guess I just got really mad--at myself and at others too. I AM WORTH THIS and I absolutely DO deserve every happiness this universe can bestow on me.

p.s. And yes, I am absolutely WITH you sister.

So true and so right - This is how I need and try to think. I have struggled so with impatience and thinking that I am not losing weight fast enough even though I realize that I am losing steadily. This is my demon to fight.

of course I am with you! Always!!!!

Yeah! Thanks for the wonderful (and inspirational post). You've convinced me to take that walk tonight that I was going to skip cause Im tired and in a weightloss rutt!

WOW. DCHound you basically described everything I do and feel. I can not accept compliments because I do not feel worthy. I belittle myself. I feel stupid all the time. I feel not worthy of doing certain things or being certain places because I am fat. I know I have to love myself and the self-sabotage will stop. My problem is where to start. How do I love myself and give myself compliments when I don't believe them?

Just lie. Pretend. Go put on a nice blouse and a pair of earrings and lipstick ~ that's all, nothing special ~ then go look in your mirror, make eye contact, and say outloud, "Dek, you look good! I like you, and I love you." Doesn't matter if you think you actually look good or not, just do it. Doesn't matter how you really feel about yourself ~ just do it. Then do it again tomorrow. Twice. And the next day. And keep on doing it. AND EVENTUALLY IT WILL WORK. I promise. I believe I did this many times a day, for MONTHS, before I really started to believe what I was hearing. I learned I had to pretend I felt OK before I actually did feel OK. Then I started feeling good sometimes, and OK sometimes, and sad a little bit of the time. Then the ratio began shifting more to the good, and less to the sad. And on and on.

Others here call it "fake it til you make it." It really, really works. Do I like myself all the time? No. Do I love myself all the time? Nope. Do I cut myself down sometimes? Sure. But, percentage-wise, I am 99% kinder to myself, and I love myself 1000% more, than I did a year ago. Or ten years ago. Or 39 years ago even.

It's a process, and it's a journey, and you have to enjoy the journey. Just pretend to enjoy it at first...it'll kick in eventually.

Great post! and great responses too!

I think you are so right, dch. I think the reason it's working for me this time is exactly the same.

I've lost a load of weight twice before.
First time in my 20s, down to 116 (from a startweight - 168 - I'd love to be at now!). I was slim but not in a good place, and don't remember enjoying it.
Second time in my 40s, down to 136 from the 242 that I still show as my startweight, cos I didn't finish. I was slim and was really happy with the results and my confidence; but it didn't last.
This time, you're spot on, I was happy with myself before I started. It took a while. I met and became friendly with a really great couple, who are very big. They are so comfortable with each other. He's hot (imho) and she's one of those opulent, creamy-skinned, dark-haired gorgeous women, that make me ponder the difference between opulent and fat. That was about a year ago. Then I went to work in Germany for 3 months and that went well. Then I started my new job here mid-Jan, and I was treated well, and seem to be doing well. I guess it's taken a year of gradual self-contentment to get to the jump-off point for weightloss.

Wow! DC hound, you said it so perfectly. I randomly clicked on page 51 tonight to read some old posts and came across this, and I'm so glad I did. This is just beautiful and inspiring - and so true.

This is such an inspirational post! I've favourited it and copied it and sent it to everyone I know who battle with weight (hope that's ok). Thanks so much for this.