ME TOO! Because after watching friend after friend after friend get divorced, I realized that its more about what the marriage will be like than what the wedding will be like. The wedding is just one day, but the marriage is...well...the rest of your life! And planning weddings is far too stressful for me!

And way too expensive!

We took the money we would have spent on a wedding and travelled a month in Europe AND laid a nice down payment on our home.

Priorities! LOL

It is your choice to invite whomever you want to but I'd agree that its also your friends choice not to come. I had a similar incident at my wedding where there was drama and someone couldn't bring a date, it wasn't my choice overall and I wasn't happy about the entire thing but events led up to the situation. In the end, the person decided not to come. I respected her wishes and if it was up to me, she would've came along with her date and the other people involved wouldn't have had an issue.

I planned my own wedding by figuring that everyone could bring a date if they wanted and not everyone did. My top number was based on that. It meant that I didn't invite as many people because I wanted a small wedding but I figured the people who I did invite could at least bring someone with them if they chose to.

Honestly, I really don't get your indignation. You have every right to invite a person without inviting a date, and she has every right to accept or decline. I get being disappointed if you want her there, but it seems more than that. I think she handled it very well by saying she wasn't offended but couldn't make the trip alone.

The ladies here have already had some stellar points... and speaking from the soon to be brides point of view I totally understand the concept of quality vs. quantity.

I've mentioned it to my friends before that if they're not seeing someone at the time of the wedding, then they shouldn't go out of their way to find a date either. But, we're not a destination wedding and we're paying the bill. If we were getting married down south where it would cost hundreds to thousands of dollars for the guest to come, then I believe that gives them a right to bring someone so that they enjoy themselves even more.

The bride and groom (and/or family) may be the ones paying for when everyone's there... but you're also asking that any guest that comes take time off work and pay to be there. It's gotta be worth it... and sorry to say that being friends (no matter how much they care about you) may not be enough sometimes. You never know, she may end up marrying the man. awk-warrrrd. But ultimately, you will have a wonderful wedding and although it's disappointing that your friend isn't able to make it, there will be many more events that she will be there for I'm sure. Don't stress.

Generally if budget is an issue, those in relationships should be invited along with their significant other. If you can't afford to have both parties attend, then invite neither (may seem harsh but when you're trying to keep a wedding at 20 people, you can't invite everyone). It's not up to you to decide whether your friend is in a serious relationship or not. When I was dating my future husband for 2 months, I was already in love with him and knew that I was going to marry him, and wouldn't really want to go away to a wedding without him.

Destination weddings usually require guests to pay their own way, apart from the actual event. I think they are great, but it is definitely asking a lot when inviting people. It's a much greater expense than other weddings. So, I can see why this person might not want to attend.

Also something to think about is destination weddings tend to naturally weed people out. I would agree that not inviting either is probably the way I'd go if money was the issue. It may even be that he can't come anyway due to work/schedule/money. Who knows?

I also want to add that you are well within your rights (after all, its your wedding) to not let your friend bring her boyfriend, but the payoff is that you have to accept her answer and not judge her by her decision. That is all...

You all bring up some valid points I appreciate your input. I understand my friend's point of view completely. When I got engaged I made it well known that I wanted a small intimate destination wedding since my fiance did not want to elope and I did, we compromised. I am truly sad that she cannot come and have told her so. Destination weddings do tend to weed people out, which is why i went that route. But, like every wedding there is always drama somewhere. You just cant avoid it. I applaud those who have been able to elope, but did you all have drama with your families? Bottom line, I am sad she's not coming and respect that but happy that we will be having the wedding we wanted. After all its our day and we are going to have a blast!

Here, here!

If you don't mind me asking, where are you having this affair?

Vegas, Baby!

Sweet! Personally, Vegas is one place I wouldn't mind going dateless! So much fun to be had!

Yeah, I think you'll have a good time

Which is why it caught me by surprise that my friend did not want to go alone. Vegas has been our vacation destination for the past 7yrs we've been together, which is why we are getting married there. Plus, its such a casual city and so much fun!

It depends, I hate vegas and wouldn't want to go there. I'm not sure how your friend feels about it.

She has never been, she had said she was be excited to go. Oh well, her loss.