I'm going to tough love you. from all your replies, it sounds like you have a lot of excuses for not going out. I was in the same boat as you, when I lived in brazil, where no one spoke english. I took portugese lessons, and also used my forgienness( sp) as a benifit, going to cafe's and attempting to chat with locals. helped my portugese and i met heaps of new people- took me a little while but I soon became the talk of the town, i couldnt walk down the street with out people yelling out OLA GRINGA! you just have to step out of your comfort zone.

Stellart... i live overseas and speak hardly ANY of the language. There's this GREAT website now online that a friend of mine who moved to live in Hong Kong joined, and we've both met tons of nice young professional people to hang with. The site is called Internations. They have socials in public places and all of the people are English speaking expats who live in that area, and locals who speak decent English. It is awesome...check it out, because once you have a group of friends too, the jealousy goes away. Well, a little. I live 3000 miles away from my bf and when he tells me taht I get that little twinge too. Just means ya love him Good luck! Where do you live btw?

i live in montreal. well just off the island that is. its really really cold right now. haha really cold. but i'm braving it, and i'm going tonight. the worst that happens is i hate it and wasted 3 hours of my life and roughly 30$

thanks for the motivation, frens!

Montreal and you have nothing to do!????!?!?

Young lady, you had better put on some skank-wear and get your butt on that bus. They have fantastic dance clubs in Montreal and french-Canadian men are only second to real frenchmen as far as bringing sexy back. And yes, I routinely go clubbing by myself. Take some pepper spray and watch your drinks. You'll be fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the whole uptight significant other. Whatever. As far as i'm concerned it's perfectly fine to get your appetite in the streets so long as you eat at home... :P

Stellart, I live in a foreign country with almost no friends. My boyfriend is less social than me so I'd say he officially has 0 friends. But the jealousy I had started back home. We are totally enmeshed and co-dependent and spend all our time together. All his friends back home were mostly women because he's just not a guys-guy. I would feel jealous and I think he could tell so he hung out with them less and less. Now he has no friends here and almost no friends left back home and I feel really bad. In fact I'm always suggesting "Hey you should contract Kristin... see what she's up to." and he replies "Nah, I don't even like her."

Being co-dependent really put a strain on our relationship when we first got here. We really are each others' only source of entertainment! But within that pressure cooker, we both really found this new drive to improve ourselves (or I did and told my boyfriend and he said "Yeah, sure, new hobbies, new friends, sounds good.").

My plan is to pursue some goals or interests that have long been on the back burner. For me that is making weight loss a number one priority, finishing my Master's (started 6 years ago!), creating art and pursuing writing. While my boyfriend lost his friends thanks to co-dependence, I lost my hobbies and interests. I am also smiling at people more, going out to events that seem even remotely interesting (everything from regatta races to yoga classes), trying to talk to people more.

It's not a perfect system. I've met 3 people in the last 2 weeks and made friends with them on Facebook. I sent them all a what I thought was witty message and an invitation out for a drink sometime soon and got no replies. It makes me not want to try but in my situation, I HAVE to try. I have to make friends, even if it's with people who aren't my A-1 choice, just for the betterment of my relationship. It is amazing in my friends pursuit how much I like and appreciate my boyfriend more.

Would you be willing to meet friends on the internet? When I moved to Minneapolis I went around for about 4 months friendless and finally turned to the internet, putting out a platonic ad on craigslist. I met a bunch of cool people, most are still my friends now (albeit very very far away now... ). I'd totally do it again but Busan/Korean doesn't seem so hooked up on craigslist. Also, I met a ton of cool people volunteering at this little radio station (and the gig was fun too). My friend just moved to Chicago and has struggled to make friends. She just joined a improv comedy theater and has met a lot of cool people.

I think you if you put yourself our there more and especially concentrate on some interests you have, you'll feel less dependent on your boyfriend.

but then again, if you only see your boyfriend twice a week, that sucks if he cancels one of those days. Can you have a make-up day during the week? Then you won't feel like you're getting shafted.

I'd definitely second what Joyra brought up - find somewhere to volunteer! Outside of classes, that's where I've met almost all of my friends!

ok, first off lemme just start by saying that i went on the hike... and it was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!

i'm so glad that i went, and i dont regret it for a minute. le parc du mont-royal is absolutely beautiful. a true sanctuary in the middle of the city. after about an hour of hiking, i literally forgot that we were in the middle of montreal. it was just woods, and snow, and ice-laden trees. so pristine, so fresh, so perfect. the ppl in the group were so nice. it was great to just talk to new ppl. even though it was a "singles group" and i'm sure the men were prolly attempting to hit on me. and they were all a bit socially awkward. but i reminded myself early on, that i was not even there to hook up anyway, so what does that matter. and i was able to just enjoy it all.

there's this one point, where you get to the top of the mountain, and you overlook the city. and when we were climbing i was looking at the ground so i didn't fall, so when i reached the top, i look up, and see the whole city lit up in all directions down below, and it was completely breathtaking.

so anyway, i'm so glad that i went. thank you for the motivation. i needed that. i'm proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something new. i feel so empowered.

thank you so much ladies for all the encouragement!!

stellart, sounds amazing! How neat.