hey renèe..not to pry and/or get too personal..(yeah..but now i'm gonna do it anyways cuz i care!) but have you tried seeking professional help/guidance? i started cognitive behavioral therapy to stop the false "medicating" w/food/booze/etc. and now i have progessed to full-blown psychoanalysis and am uncovering so much "stuff" i thought i had under control (denial denial)...it is painful and HARD A§§ work but it does help. i would not have been ready to shed any weight if i hadn't done it.

Thanks Jan, and its ok to pry! I've had a lot of therapy in my life and could probably do with some right now, but I simply can not afford it at the moment. To be honest I do know exactly what to do to make the switch but I hold so much in that it tends to explode from time to time. When I had friends in my life I dealt better with things because there was that bouncing-things-off-a-girlfriend thing that helped me get through whatever it was that was happening. I just don't have that anymore. I have my boyfriend, who loves me madly and would do anything to support me but its NOT the same. I don't want to bog him down with this stuff. Men take a different approach and just want to FIX things when its a little more complicated than that.

There is my friend J whom I'm just getting close to but it takes me time to really open up. She was previously my gym buddy and now I'm going to WW with her and the travel time gives us a chance to connect. I still worry that I'm going to cause people to run away from me, from dumping my issues on them and I do realise I shouldn't worry so much about that.

With all that said, thanks for your reply and I appreciate you being open with me as well.

Not surprising, I gained a kilo this time around, but its a new week and I'm proud to say I did really well today. One day at a time, chicks, one day at a time...

renee, i hope it gets better for you. have you tried replacing your old habits with new ones? yoga, journaling, a quick walk, etc. etc.?

i can relate on losing touch with gal pals. most of my chick friends and i have lost touch and right before i moved i finally made another friend--and then moved 1200 miles away. it was obvious both of us were in need of a friend and we immediately "dumped" everything on each other and became quick confidantes. how refreshing! maybe test the waters with J? you never know...and yes, talking it over with the dude in your life just isn't the same. i know we haven't spoken much on this website, but feel free to pm me if you just need someone to listen/read

i hope everyone else is hanging in there! things are getting might sloooow round these parts. maybe that means everyone is outside?

later!

Agh! It feels like I haven't been in the forums for ages! So much catching up to do!

I hear you on the lack of female friends. I find it hard to relate to a lot of women and the friends I did have got married, had kids and moved to the burbs and now they no longer have time, energy, money to go out.

And although my hubby is awesome you girls are right - it is not the same as having a good girlfriend or two to chat with.

My problem with female friends is that I never really had any. I was, and still am more of a tom-boy & I've never really been interested in most of the conversations the women around me were having. Occasionally I find a rare gem who is a lot like me, but they are few & far between.
I miss my guy friends. Since I got into a LTR I've a paucity of guy friends. I miss being one of the guys!

Thanks for the replies girls! I am not very good at really opening up so I appreciate knowing that what I feel or go through is not isolated, that there are plenty of others who relate.

I am pretty picky about the women I choose to be friends with because I find I get on with guys better! But yeah occasionally you find someone who gets you and its not all girlie talk! My best friend for the past 20 years I hardly connect with any more. Before she had kids (and religion, actually) it was different. I could still pick up the phone (but not on Shabbas) and call her if I need to, we still have the deep connection.

Anjera, where are you in NM? I'm actually originally from Alamogordo I don't meet a lot of new Mexicans online!

This week is going better WW-wise, but I'm not fully where I want to be on program. I need to invest just a little more time in planning. One day at a time...

i used to have only guy friendses (samesame canna handle frilly pinkness and tupperwareses)but i now have 5 super important ladies in my life and the guyses have all hooked up w/super-lame chicas. ugh. it's TOM and i want a CUPCAKE!!!!!
after re-reading this post i have come to the conclusion that my cramp medication has made me mental....keeses for all youse guapas!!
sorry my brain canna seem to focus.....boyfriend's djing tonight

hi mauvaisroux ! how's yer busy busy october?

i was always one of the guys as a wee lad. played basketball instead of cheered (in elementary school of course) and then puberty came and ever since, although i was and am still one of the guys it was inevitable some weirdness happened at some point in the friendships on one or both sides. but i like my women folk, too. i never thought of it as few gal pals, or few guy pals, i've always just had few friends in general. still, i can count 'em on one hand (acquaintances are different). just never been into spreading meself thin.

ayi ayi ayi what a week! i've had a paper due, a proposal due, taught my first lesson (yay!), had 4 tutoring sessions, and read an entire novel just to hit the biggies of the week. so so glad it's saturday. there's still a lot of ****e to do, but hey, it's saturday.

hope everyone is rockin!

kudos ollie! awesomeness!
sounds like we've got quite a bit in common..i am a teacher and struggling to get my college courses done on top a all dat. sigh. well, you know what it's like.hope ur weekend was all dat and more..peace out
(i REALLY am ridiculous )

jan - i think maybe we both teach literature and writing, too? or did i make that up? my weekend is never "all that and more". it's usually cleaning and homework all done with the help of a coupla beers. but yeah, i've noticed in a few of your posts that we do share some commonalities i.e. ridiculousness, awesomeness, englishness, your an expatriot/i wanna be one but refuse to put me kitties through that, love of rockin' out, and gettin off the pill for asexual reasons and much much more! we should hang!

later!

aiiyiii! yes, hang we shall! i do teach english lit and writing..but as a second language. a wee bit different or mebbe not so? my students tend to astound me with their literacy (sometimes i think i'd be better off getting paid to make juvenile farting noises and such) and range of vocab.
apropos beer: dealing with icky icky sinusitis and my russian friend recommended warm beer...hmmmm might try it! waddevahz!

gator!

(oh hahahaha i actually cracked up. me soo lame)

well, sometimes judging by the looks on my students' faces i, too, teach english as a second language! juvenille farting noises! ha! how cool would that be? pretty effing cool. pttttfffhhh!

warm beer for sinusitis? hey whatever reason you can find. actually what helps me with my sinus issues is a cup of really strong black coffee. not sure why, it just does.

so, do German men really wear Lederhosen? and speaking of beer, isn't october like, THE month of beer there? awesome.

aloha ollie....warm beer is gnarliness! ginger tea w/lemon much better..yeah, espresso does the trick but only alleviates my pain short term.
anyways: lederhosen-they sure do, but only in bavaria (the rural areas there..and at oktoberfest of course of course)which is kinda like texas as the bavarians would prefer to secede from the rest of germany.
beer beer beer..EVERY month is THE month for beer! Here in the wine country it's "weinlese" right now-grape harvest . so "federweißer" and Roter rauscher" are in season, super yummy. i think it's a kind of "green" wine ..not completely vintaged yet (donno any wine jargon, really) and super sweet and strong. goes well with "zwiebelkuchen" onion tarte. unfortunately i am now on antibiotics and so canna partake. blurg!

hmmm...sweet and strong wine and onion tarte.

so are we like the only ones here or what? but, yeah, beer rocks. the hubs and i just moved up this way from alabama and in alabama most beer is still illegal. i think anything over 6% alcohol is illegal which means that there were absolutely no craft beers in the state, and the city we moved from draft beer was illegal. weird, huh? so although it's not germany, we're still having our 24/7 octoberfest a la massachusetts so silly. you could go buy a bottle of Bacardi 151 proof, but not a ber with 12% alcohol. silly silly.

sunday. i do hate to see the weekend end. especially when i have nothing to show for it. i hope all you quiet alternachicks are alive and well...