Oh, so much to say and so little time -- I've got to run out to do the shopping and hit WW for WI -- I actually woke up today 2 whole pounds down.

I am thinking so many things at all of you -- will come back later to post.

Hello all....

So far today, so good.... but I've only been awake about 2hrs and have only had coffee to drink.....

Well, there's got to be a positive side somewhere!

Last night, went to a BBQ with just a handfull of coworkers....all women. And ate things I havent eaten in years.... Onion dip.... crazy. I ate a few pretzels w the dip, ate a few more and then midway said "This is nuts".....
Ah well....
But, thats over. In fact, its a funny feeling not be stressing about it.
Freeing.

WSW.... did the plumber ever show???? I can relate to wondering how much the repairs will cost. One time, we had toliet plumbing issues and whent he plmber told us it was fixed for $75.00 I nearly kissed him.
He must have thought I was crazy as he had only been in the house less than 5 minutes but it in my mind $75 surely beat having to get a backhoe in to find a broken sewer pipe.
I'm hoping you're books are back on the bookshelves and the towels are off the floor. And that the repair cost is not on you or at least minimal.

Anagram.... I am so jealous of your trip to Quebec. I have always dreamed.....
Not this year though.... have big fun! can't wait to hear how things went once you've come home.....

Silver.... do you mind sharing the name of the Cruiser? We've had recommended to look at hybrids ( as they are lighter) and Touring bikes.....
In our area, we will have drive to ride ( at least at the beginning) so it means lifting the bikes so weight is a consideration.
Also, the prices around here are running at least $200 +

WoodNymph.... Thanks for the info about biking and knees..... Congrats, congrats congrats on getting into the next decade! GOOD FOR YOU!


Kat, I hate it when I've thoughtfully poured out my heart and the internet does a complete EDIT..... For me, I know its a big "just put on your big girl pants" but then again, sometimes we all need a good vent!!!
Try again, don't forget, this is the place to do it!


Ok... time to start a load of laundry and take advantage of the sun to get things dried!

Let's do this!

Happy Saturday, all!

I've got to say I'm in a weird place lately... not really sure why. Just generally depressed, which translates into not really giving a hoot about healthy choices. I do make them, sometimes, but not with the enthusiasm I had before. Exercise has been dwindling steadily. I want to do well. I like how I feel when I'm doing well. I feel like I'm punishing myself for something, but I'm not sure what. I feel guilty all the time for I don't know what. (not succeeding?) I don't know what will make me happy, well, yes I think I do. Magically losing all this weight overnight would do it. It's like everything centers around the weight issue. Everything. My mother sent me a birthday card... supposed to be funny... there was a picture of three ladies on the cover, all in bathing suits, one of them fat. My first thought was, "Oh, sure... I'm the fat one, thanks, Mom!" Only thing is, I know that's why she picked out the card. (passive/aggressive much?) Yesterday I was at a party with Mom, my sister and her family. There was a couple there, both quite overweight, having a good time, eating what they wanted and just enjoying themselves. Every raised eyebrow and snide comment from my mother felt like it was aimed squarely at me. I wanted to say, "well, proportionately, their eating probably stacks right up next to your drinking!" but I didn't.

I'm in a rut and I know it. I want to bust out of it, but I'm don't know how. Well, that's not true. I DO know how. I just need to do something, anything other than nothing, and that's a start.

I'm sorry to unburden here, but I feel better having done so. (Don't you wish my post got eaten again?)

I'm going to pull myself together now and go outside to do some weeding. Perhaps I can weed some desolate thoughts from my brain while I'm at it. I promise to return with a sunnier outlook!

Have a good day, s!

Kat, I wish you were close enough to receive this in person... You really sound like you could use one right now.
Hon, it sounds like you are just cycling right now. You did so very well on the last challenge, but it is difficult to keep going at that amazing level and maintain what looks to us like a "real" life. I don't know about you for sure, but it sounds like you are going through what happens to me on a regular enough basis that I'm beginning to recognize the signs. First you get moving on a plan, change, shift, or whatever, and it feels really good. You and your body both respond positively, even though it is hard, because you know you are doing something terrific for yourself. The terrific overrides the hard.
The second stage is more work. You have already seen the ball begin rolling, so it doesn't feel quite so much like work, but it also isn't as easy as it was those first few weeks. Sometimes you watch a co-worker or friend just eating along with their fast food garbage, and you wish it were that easy for you.
The next stage sneaks in horribly and cruelly--you just don't see it coming. For whatever reason, it usually starts for me with taking one bite of something I haven't even desired the previous weeks. (Is any of this sounding familiar? I hope it isn't just me.) Sometimes it is a party or a stray comment that sets me off. I'll be looking over party foods, searching for the best choices, and someone will comment on how they eat what they want and then just exercise more later on. This person should normally be blown off because the most they have ever had to lose in their life has been 2.3 pounds, but the words stick. And they hurt.
The final stage before the upswing begins is usually some sort of personal flogging that is carried out with poor food choices and lack of exercise--yeah, those things we know make us feel good. Every thin person, every person who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight, and every overweight person that happens to be losing more weight than I am right now turn into the enemy overnight. I usually find myself looking up hokey weight loss pill or patch ads about this time in the cycle. I want the miracle, and I want it now! All I have is sadness, depression, and my old fat fortress to retreat into once again.

Okay, that is the cycle--at least it is for me. The one thing I am learning here, especially as I learn to treat myself better, is that the amount of time I spend at the bottom of this cycle fully depends on me. I'm guessing the same goes for you, Kat. Be sad for a few days. Mourn if you really need to. Then I'd suggest you choose to find whatever it is that spurs you back toward the top of this cycle. Sometimes I have to start it out angry; sometimes happiness is the best route. I never know what the action is going to be ahead of time, but as I recognize that this is something inside my own head and not something being done to me, I can usually make myself move on.

I've been at the bottom of my cycle a few times this year already, and you've been one of the amazing people to have helped pick me up, dust me off and get my feet back squarely on the rose petal pathway. Don't apologize for letting us know you are out there and need a little bit of help yourself. Just let us do it, okay?

*HUGS*
Andria

Ugh. I am sick. Of course this has to happen during DHs vacation, and I have a job interview tomorrow morning as well. Please put good, get Andria healthy by tomorrow morning vibes out there for me!

Andria

Sending healthy energy, Andria! : Rest and take care of your royal self today!

I'm on Day 2, have my steps and tai chi in already. Got the bathtub regrouted AGAIN, have a lovely new shower curtain and bath matt.

I'm hoping to get my corner of the palace spiffed up before I head to Colorado a week from Tuesday.

They've delivered the patio furniture and it just needs putting together. DH is painting in that corner of the deck right now. I said I'll put the furniture together but I think I'll go buy some annuals and see if it's done when I get home

Speaking of which:

Anagram, have a fabulous time in Quebec (in case I don't see you before you go).

Kat, hope things have turned around for you today! I was thinking about your mom's comments about the heavy people. Man, I just hate that and I know all too well what you're talking about. My husband's whole family will often, in describing someone or talking about them, "Oh, he's a great big FAT man." or similar. I always feel like saying "Um... excuse me?" But I just sit there uncomfortably instead.

My MIL once said, talking about my sister, "Ellen's such a pretty girl -- nice and slim!" She always thought she was very tactful, too No way was she making any kind of a comparison.

Again, I sat there quietly for a minute or two and then went upstairs to cry. I'm sure she thought, on some level, that comments like that would encourage me to lose weight. Funny how it doesn't seem to work like that

That was around the time of our wedding. And I have to give DH credit -- I was probably at my heaviest then. To be honest, I don't think I stepped near a scale so probably well above my highest recorded weight.

K, I guess I'll go see about getting some annuals. May Peace and Contentment reign!

Oh my gosh! I must say, seeing the butterfly closer to the end than the start is thrilling! Not much closer, granted, but definitely closer.

...to be able to count upon the love and support that is here. I was just pondering the fact that I really don't have anyone (in person) to share these thoughts with that would; a. listen, b. understand, c. comfort. Thank you so much for all of the above! Andria, you have an uncanny ability to put into words exactly how I think/feel/am! Were we seperated at birth?

Arabella, I know very well that cycle of success! then the deconstruction thereof. (I had to smile at the image of you sitting in the ER, admiring your 'normal person's leg.' Sounds exactly like something I'd do!)

I realize that this whole process is cyclical... speaking of which, (lightbulb moment!) I guarantee that my period will arrive next week. I don't know why this is always such a surprise to me. Didn't I just go through this last month? And the month before? I guess because I was never really bothered by PMS when I was younger. Now that those little hormones are hanging on for dear life as they dwindle away, they are making their presence known. BIG TIME!

Another light bulb just turned on... I was just thinking that about a year or so ago, my periods had pretty much stopped. I thought, "Okay, I guess this is menopause," but never had any hot flashes or any of the other 'signs.' Now that I think of it, I was working those awful hours, going to school, helping to care for my father. Healthy eating and exercise were at the bottom of the priority list. I'm trying to remember when I started getting them regularly again... pretty sure it was after I started a more normal, less stressful routine of sleep/healthy choices/peaceful thinking. Interesting.

You know coming here is much better than therapy anyday! Cheaper too!

I just dug out this little daily planner/notebook I had bought earlier this year. Had put it away because it didn't start til July... so here we are. I'm going to write a bit each day, just to keep up with these cycles, hopefully I can plan for and head them off at the pass!

'nuff about me. Jeez, way to dominate the thread, kat!

Andria... comin' atcha! Good luck at your interview, I know that you will WOW them! What kind of position are you interviewing for?

Arabella... Isn't that the best feeling, shopping through your clothes that formerly did not fit ? Wonderful! Nice job on the woggle/sprint! That bump up will be gone tomorrow, I'm sure. Eye opening, isn't it, when you don't exercise... it does make a difference!

Kaylets! Mmmm, onion dip! Wow, that's something I haven't had in years either! I love your attitude of not stressing... just move forward! Onward, ever onward!

wsw, Yes, tell us: Did he ever show? Just what you need when you're already stressed out--more stress! Cleansing breaths do help. Sending your way too! PS, congrats on that awesome loss! Plateaus DO end, eventually!

Anagram...Wow, you have been one busy queen! Sounds like wonderful quality time with your princesses and family! I love that you managed to get your exercise in there too. Enjoy your time away, come back with wonderful stories about Quebec and how well you maintained!

ceara...Hey! What's doin'?

I think I'm caught up now. I think I need to state my goals for getting my feet back squarely on the rose petal pathway, as dear Andria put it so well.

We leave for Ireland on Aug 21. Six and a half weeks. Maybe I'll scatter some shamrocks in among the rose petals!

In the interest of full disclosure, I just had a rather demoralizing scale moment. ~Deep breath~ 271. I managed to put 7lbs back on during my funk. Some of that may just be fluff, but it sure sucks to see those numbers back up there. Gosh, it only it were as easy to take it off! Well, there's only one thing to do about that, right? Get back to work.

SO, Day 1. Here is my plan to get under 260 by va-kay:

Gonna do this is 3 day increments. Shooting for three excellent days in a row. Then I'll string 'em together to make 21. Tweaking, always tweaking!

Increase the DAILY movement of the bod. Minimum 30 min walk. Seek ways to sneak more motion in: taking the stairs, parking farther away, (which I really like, because there's ALWAYS a parking space out yonder!) practice balancing while I cook (stand on one foot, hold, switch--try it, it's fun!) Do squats or lunges instead of just bending down to pick something up. Ride my bike. Get to the gym! Take two Power classes a week. JUST DO IT!

Clean eating. Take advantage of the summertime bounty. Make a big salad at the beginning of the week to dip into all week long. And some delicious dressing. (I'm with you, Arabella! Howz about a recipe for your ginger sesame dressing? Sounds !) Cut back on carbs. Not eliminating, just being aware that every meal does not need bread, potatoes, rice, etc...

Water, water, water. And more water.

Daily journaling: thoughts/moods/events. Look for patterns, prepare for changes. Become more self aware.

Be kind to myself. Before rising in the morning, remind myself that I am good and deserving of the happiness that I seek. (seems kinda silly to put that down, but it does help!)

I guess that's it. I'm going to make a "Run for the Shamrocks" ticker for myself to keep track of this challenge, feel free to join me!

Wow, I've been here for about two hours now... time to get on with all of the above!

Have a wonderful day, my sweet s! Thank you again for being here and for caring. I hope I can always do the same for you!

You popped in while I was droning on and on, Arabella, but I did have to comment... I honestly do not understand what motivates people to make their little comments, but they definitely DO think they are helping by saying such things... as if you would just say, "Oh! Yes! I should just get myself thin too! Then I'd be pretty!" After ruining my day and having a good cry over something similar, I've been known to go scarf a sleeve of cookies out of spite. Whom, exactly, am I spiting? No one but myself, of course. Only a fat person understands this.

Don't get me started!

BTW, I am thrilled for the downward movement of your butterfly! Seeing that really does make a difference, doesn't it?

Hello all!

Silver, hope you are feeling better and am sending vibes that you can shine, shine, shine during your inteview....

Anagram... FUN being sent your way!

WoodNymph...New patio furniture in your palace! Yay!

Kat.... You're right.... I have found repeatedly although the "flow" is often absent, all the other 'symptons' still show up on time..... In addition, I too, am only about 20 minutes away from the usual familiy triggers setting me off too. Somehwere I read that within 2 hrs family members fall back into their "places" as children. I felt myself getting a little blue as my birthday approached too but luckily, I get kept forgetting it was coming!! Guess thats one advantage to being older.... I still work with people who take the whole week off to celebrate their birthdays.....

And you know, sometimes, we are just blue. Deep, indigo blue. Its not fun but it happens.

Listen, this too will pass. Sooner or later but it will.
You are loved.



*************

Thought of the day:

"A rock pile ceases being a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it,
bearing within him the image of a cathedral."
- Unknown Author


Question of the day:

Name a situtaion you made 'something out of nothing.'


***********


PS.... DH and I bought mathcing "touring bikes"........

Just noticing that I've been a member here for over 8 years. I joined at 231, went down to 194 or 195 once and then, somewhere along the way, let myself slide upwards of 256.

I guess nobody said it was easy.

The interview went really well! Thank you all for your well wishes. Now, to just get me feeling well enough to do more than sit up long enough to be charming. Adrenalin got me through really well this morning, but I was so wiped out afterwards.

We are heading out of town tomorrow to go to Dallas for a few days. I plan on taking it super easy tonight so I can enjoy the trip. By the time we return, I should also be able to give a proper accounting of my weight loss for the last week. I was down 4 (gotta love the Whoosh faerie!), but I'm down another 4 since becoming ill. We all know that is due to dehydration, so I'm not even considering counting it.

Quick side note: Husby bought a Wii Fit today, and it looks like so much fun! I absolutely the Wii folks for making a video game that encourages activity and makes it such a blast you want to keep working out.

Ok, time to zoom out of here. I've evidently pushed my upright time beyond its max for the day. Blah.

Take care, everyone!

Andria