I've never gotten a call from "The Captain" (though now I'm intrigued), but everyone in my area has been getting these calls from Nevada telling us our warrenties are up on our cars. It must be a scam as everyone I know keeps getting the same calls.

LMAO!!! Oh my God! I get that call at work EVERYDAY! You pick up and then you hear this big fog horn sound and then "Hello! This is your..."

True, but I've never given out my cellphone # to any business, and I don't fill out contest forms. If I did, I would never put my cellphone on it!

Nah, this shady "carpet cleaning" company has an auto-dialer and just dials any old number it can. They don't care about the Do Not Call List.

Is the "captain" also doing this? I mean, is it some stupid business auto-dialing people without adhering to the Do Not Call List?

We tell the telemarketer that we do/have/sell whatever it is they are selling. Cemetery lots, magazines, light bulbs -- whatever. We also will just bark into the automated phone ones. Everytime they ask a question we just bark. I've had them call and asking for my husband. When I say he's not here and they say they will call back when he gets in, my reply is 'why, have you seen him? He skipped outta here months ago!'. They get really flustered. I love having fun w/these ding dongs. If you get a machine that constantly calls, answer whatever questions they ask with the most ridiculous, absurd thing you can possibly think of. If you can say it with a really thick accent, all the better.

Here's some more suggestions I found.

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

Say "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up. (a personal favorite!)

If the company cleans carpets, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him / her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.

Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh my God!" Then hang up.

Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

Tell the telemarketer you are "grounded" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

If they are selling magazines, ask them if they come in Braille.

Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD DOWN.

Hat Trick... HILARIOUS!!!!!!!! Gotta try some of these!

Hat trick - I feel really sorry for the people who call you!! I am so glad I am not a telemarketer. They must have a horrendous time of it.

Seriously HAT TRICK...you have me beat! I thought I was good at this game of unwanted phone calls....

my taking the phone into the bathroom and flushing while holding it in near the bowl after I tell them "Hang on one sec while I wipe"...just doesn't seem that good anymore...

I tip my hat to you!

chem lawn called me once.

i told them... I don't have a lawn, I dug it up buried the body and made a rock garden.

Hat Trick:

If my mom gets such a call she just goes "I don't do business over the phone, mail me the info" and if I happen to intercept it I just say "sorry, I'm not interested", but your ideas are great

You guys have me crying I'm laughing so hard.
I wish I was a quick thinker and could remember some of those comebacks.
I usually just say "she's not here". Sometimes it's someone legitimate and I have to explain that I really am here

I haven't heard the captain yet. Maybe he's looking for Tenille

I don't get out much so I get my fun where I can!

I'm going to have to copy these and keep them by the phone. We had one friend who got a call from a photography salesman. He kept saying he wasn't interested, then finally said, "But, young man, I'm blind. I lost my sight 5 yrs ago in an accident at work." CLICK.