First I just want to applaud you for being brave enough to be honest and ask for help. I have not been in your situation so I don't have much advice, but can you bring a reliable friend with you when you go to bars or clubs? Someone who can make sure you go home, alone, safely? (As it's sometimes called jokingly, the "we gotta go" girl?) Maybe you could also make a promise to yourself also that you will not have sex without a condom? Carry them with you all the time.

I would also make sure you're watching out for your safety in other ways when you are out partying too -- make sure you never leave a drink unattended, never drink anything you didn't watch the bartender pour, have a designated driver, etc.

Sex can be fun, but if you aren't feeling good about yourself in the morning then it is not worth the risk, and you know that you aren't doing it because it's fun but for some other reason (like self esteem issues).

If you can't see a therapist until September, do you have any free sources of therapy you could consult? If you are religious, you can often get counseling from a pastor, priest, or rabbi, even for non-spiritual problems. If not, there may be a help hotline you can call or a women's center. Planned Parenthood may be able to provide low-cost counseling (for sex-related issues) or refer you to someone who can. They can also test you for HIV and other STDs (even if you don't think you have any, it is a good idea to get tested).

I hope things work out for you! Please keep us updated!

I know that this thread is quite old, but I still wanted to say thanks for sharing your struggles. I have the same fear, and it has been hard to find anything written about it. I google fear of being attractive, or fear of being promiscuous, and I only seem to find articles on being afraid of getting attention. That is not my fear. I am afraid that I will be only too happy to get the attention and will become a fit, healthy horn dog. Doesn't help that I lost my mate a couple of years ago and miss him AND our sex life.

I know it's an old thread, but I read this and it seems a perfect description of the struggles a dear friend of mine is having. She was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and while she hasn't been able to access treatment yet (few people can), the diagnosis is giving her a direction to look in. So now she is reading up on it, understanding more about why she keeps turning to these risky behaviours, learning about how to approach the underlying issues, and is starting to heal. I don't know how many people this will be true of, but I hope that it's useful for someone as a point to start learning from.

Theres nothing wrong with feeling a little sexy and good about yourself. you deserve it