No, Lyn...you're not alone. We're with you 100% of the way.

Oh Lyn, I'm so sorry to hear that!

MY husband is "trying" to do this along with me, but he works two jobs (by choice!) and he's gone from 8am-9pm every night. I cook nice light dinners for the both of us for when he does come home, but I can't control what he's shoving in his mouth when he's not home with me.

Which is why he's only lost 11 pounds and I've lost 40 during the same period of time. That little sneak...

But... he is incredibly supportive. I've always been the dominant person in the relationship, so I was lucky to be able to kinda just say "this is what's going on. Sorry if you don't like it, but this is how it has to be for me to get healthy" and there was no arguments. But he's been complimentary, when I tell him my weight loss every Wednesday, he's always saying how proud he is of me...

Was your DH unsupportive before you got married? I mean... hmmph... I guess my question to you is: How is being married to him any better than being alone? Just in general, since you say is is overall an unsupportive man...

I really like Rhonda's way of thinking and have been known to do the same thing, especially with the kids and holiday candy. I let them eat to their heart's content the day they receive and it may get to sit in the house one more day and then it's all trashed. The junk simply does not come into the house. Period. It's not negotiable. Of course Jeff is trying to be healthier as well. We just have different approaches and I respect that. I don't necessarily agree with his way but I respect that he has his way and as long as unhealthy junk isn't brought in, we're good.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I am lucky that my hubby does try to be supportive most of the time, but I still have to get on him from time to time about buying healthier stuff because I like you want all of us to eat healthier (me, hubby and son included). It must be so hard not to have his total support, but don't let him drag you down with him. You are strong!!!

Jen, he was SO supportive and he was my best friend for almost 3 years before we got married. Honestly I think he is suffering from depression. He has changed dramatically the last 2 years. He has some stuff going on (mother slowly suffering and waiting for her to die... for TWO years... and his finances being screwed up at the moment, and trying to sell a property while the market is down) and I have seen him get more intorverted and kinda grouchy. I have tried to talk to him about seeing a doctor or a counselor but he is very stubborn. It makes me sad because I knew when we got married that I had finally found my soulmate and he was a great partner. Now it's like... he is all stuck inside his own head and not really partnering much at all anymore. I hope and pray when the situations change he will start feeling better. Or that he will start to see he needs some help.

And Rhonda THANK YOU so much for reminding me I am not alone!! This board is a wonderful support for me. I really appreciate you guys!

First of all, I totally agree with Rhonda.. we are all with you 100%, so don't ever feel alone!

It does sound like he is suffering some sort of depression. Sadly most men are too manly to admit they need some kind of help. Also.. you said things were good before you got married.. another sad thing is sometimes relationships take dramatic turns once you are married. I really hope that things level out for him soon, because you both need them to.

I am very lucky, hubby is very supportive.. even though he does buy candybars and try to smuggle cookies into the house.

don't let his lack of support set you back. I know how you feel. Today my grandmother tried to make me eat half of her breakfast, which...was a tortilla filled with strawberry jam, eggs, and cream cheese (disgusting!). I told her "oh. Thanks for supporting my weight loss goals". and she left the room without speaking to me. Think she got it?

I think it is good that you don't give in and eat the junk food your husband brings home. I wouldn't throw it out, though. I would give it to Second Harvest or a homeless shelter,that way someone can have it that needs it and the money is not wasted .And you wont be tempted.

I respectfully disagree. I think very much he's sabotaging you. or at least trying to. It's sad that our men are so insecure and think so little of themselves that they think a hot wife is going to be a HOT ex-wife....

I went through this with my DH last year long and it caused me to take a long long break in losing weight because i was concerned about his comfort level. Finally we talked about it a LOT and he told me he thought i was going to leave him when i got thin. He prefers bigger women and I was honestly afraid he would leave me when I got thin.... we worked past it and he's much more comfortable with my losing weight and i've recently started losing again...

my DH btw currently outweighs me by 200 pounds and i'm over 200 still!

I think you hit the nail on the head. My boyfriend is heavier...and everytime I mention my "lifestyle change", he tells me "You don't need to lose weight, you shouldn't lose weight, you're perfect. Doctors are full of it". Etc Etc.

He's a heavier boy too, and I think he thinks I'll walk on and get a hot skinny thing if I lose weight..

But i'm not sure how to discuss this with him.

I've repeated the same things over and over again. Like "I'm not doing this cause a doctor said, i'm doing it because I want to feel better." So he's accepted it, and is somewhat supportive. I say somewhat...... I don't feel he is sabotaging me, but I don't think he wants me to succeed either.

Yeah, I think there is definitely some element of sabotage. My husband is somewhat older than I am. He has gained about 80 pounds over the last 2 years. He sees me getting thinner AND curvier and I think he worried I will find someone younger. But I wouldnt do that. I just want to be healthy.

When he says he isnt attracted to skinny women, I wondered, "are you attracted to women so fat their knees are shot and they are crippled? are you attracted to women lying in a diabetic coma? are you attracted to women having a heart attack on the floor?" Cause that is exactly where I was headed.