It might not be 'man-bashing' per se. but people are physically attracted to what they are physically attracted to. Of course society has a lot to do with it.

But ever think of this. Renee Z...the actress. In Chicago she looked grotesque to me she was sooo skinny. Everyone I knew thought so too. She still looks way too skinny. Whenever I see her I go ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww out loud. Looks positively gross to me. I am not commenting on her as a person, but her looks are decidely unattractive to me.

And on the flip side I will admit that pass a certain point too much weight is not physically attractive for me and probably most of the men I have known in my life. And my friends and I know that the same goes for us and how women find us physically attractive. And people know this. They say I want to look better. But see that is the key. They care enough about themselves to want to look and feel better. That is a huge positive. But not liking where you are CAN be a huge positive as well.

I think if we were all comfortable with how we look and felt we would not be doing anything about it. Not being comfortable and wanting to look better does NOT mean thinking for a second you are a bad person in ANY way. But yeah I will say it (something most of us know): being overweight pass a certain point is not physically attractive to most men. Being overweight pass a certain point is not physically attractive to most women. It is what it is.

Now a man or a woman should not judge you as a person by how you look but of course they are going to judge their initial physical attractiveness to you by how you look to some extent (hence the term physical attractiveness). Not the entire extent though as they get to know you. I have known plenty of phsyically attractive women who when I got to know them actually lost a lot of the attractiveness (person attractivenss but it also made them WAY less physically attractive although, of course, they looked the same) and the opposite I have found very true as well. For men or women who are not open to more then first looks, their loss.

A lot of what 'is' attractive is mass media, but probably not all of it. Being too skinny is not attractive either. People generally find health and healthy looking people attractive all other things being equal.

So I guess the bottome line is that we should all feel we are WORTH it to feel better AND look better.

I have heard that men in generally prefer a "healthy" woman or even one who is a little "thick" because their instincts show them that they are able to produce offspring. I have also heard that's why men like thicker/longer hair as opposed to super short hair. Healthy hair shows health and men's instinct say "me like that, me want to make babies with her". I thought this was funny. It's also why a lot of women prefer muscular/thicker guys. They want a man who can provide and protect. Of course, I'm not so sure that all this is tru, but it's entertaining none the less!

Congrats on the elliptical!

Have you noticed how many of the women on this site have husbands/boyfriends? If all men only wanted skinny women than most of us would be single. Yes – there is a horrible message in popular media towards larger women that they are unattractive and unlovable, but it is so WRONG. Sure – it may not be the healthiest way to be, but it doesn’t mean a person is utterly unattractive.

I have recently started putting myself out there in regard to dating, and it has definitely been a bit of a rollercoaster. However, I think the most important thing is to be honest. Size is going to be very important to some guys – in either direction. To others it isn't. Alternately maybe one guy really digs chicks with dark hair and another likes tall women. There really are all types. In fact, one of the reasons that I broke up with my ex boyfriend was that he was unhappy that I was losing weight because he is ONLY attracted to larger women. I posted an ad on an online site I felt comfortable with and I explicitly stated that I was overweight but working on it and that I needed someone who is size flexible. Whatever you do, don’t try to hide your size. You don’t have to be ecstatic about it, but you should be honest and upfront about it. If you aren’t ready to do that, then you are probably not ready to date. I do feel like I was ready to do that and I am still not entirely sure I was ready to date. Big It is NOT easy.

Yay on your 20 minutes! You see - you do build up stamina faster than you'd think!

I have tons of overweight and obese friends that have partners or spouses. People that are willing to look past the fat are out there, it's just hard to find them in the usual places. I have noticed the biggest thing that separates the attached from the unattached (I would not count divorced or recently broken up as unattached) is that the attached have a more positive self image. They don't let their weight define them. They join clubs, do activities, and make it very easy for people to see that there's more to them that what first meets the eye.

BP

P.S. - Not the cheat - Who's the one from 21 Jump Street?

hehe - love that guy.