You get out there and show yourself who's boss! You're going to go out & have fun no matter what! You're going to go out and get healthy no matter what! You can & will do it and we're all behind you!!!!

This is so true. I've failed spectacularly at things in my life, but the regrets I have are for the things I didn't even try and for the times I've let fear hold me back. Failure isn't something I regret, not trying absolutely is.

Don't let anything hold you back, especially not what other people *might* be saying or thinking about you. Frankly, I don't think you'd have walked into a room with 10,000 people in it and had people stopping to talk about you as you walked by. They were there to enjoy their favorite band too, regardless of who else was in attendance! Other people just don't think about us as much as we think they do.

Sara, I understand. Two years ago, we went to Williamsburg, Virginia on vacation. This is approximately 40 minutes from where I lived 16 years ago. I had a chance to meet with my old roomate while we were visiting, but I stood her up. I was just so embarrassed for her to see me at, what was then, 70 pounds overweight. I felt like one of those statistics of a frumpy overweight middle aged wife and Mom who had totally let her self go. Today, I think about this often and I'm so sad that I missed a chance to reconnect with a dear friend and meet her children. I've often thought about trying to contact her again, but I'm now more embarrased at my behaviour than I am about my weight. Please don't let your weight keep you from enjoying life and the experience that are awaiting you. Don't let these opportunities pass you by.

This is my feeling to a "T".....

I have put off going home to visit my friends and family for years now,I keep saying "Im going to miss you this trip","cant make it down",etc...I use every excuse to avoid the people that I love and the things I once loved to do...Cant make that bike trip,tire,umm popped,and the frame is umm wrecked..every exuse...I have become a constant liar,not just to my friends but to myself...Iam everything I do not want to be....

and yet...I constantly put myself back in this situation...I keep saying to myself as soon as I lose 15pds,or 20,I will make a plan to go to a concert,or when Im 200pds I will finally go home to see my friends,and yet..it has not come now for the past few years...so,I dont go...

To be honest,Im not sure how to get out of this as well...all I know is that,what I have been doing is not working...I go into diet extreme mode,and lose a few pds,sometimes up to 30,and then,before I can make it home,its back....I have got to find a way to make it stick,and so far,its slow...do it right,drink my water,eat my veggies,and keep moving..

yes right now...I have not gone home,not attended any parties,or to any concerts,but I plan to...but first,I need to get my mind in the right mind set,I need to get a bit of control and start feeling better...

Sara,I wish you all the best..your story is my story...and just like you I dream of the day that I dont have to avoid friends,avoid parties,etc...I dream about the day that I slip into just my jeans and t shirt and feel amazing and confident,that is all Im looking for...its not a size,its a feeling...and when they say hey we are going on a 4kil hike,I will say,let me grab my shoes!!!

sorry for blabbing...but I appreciate you sharing this,it makes me feel as if Im in the right place,and Im not alone...

good luck..

Lannae

Sara, I too have felt the way you do. I am now 45 and old enough to realize that it doesn't matter what other people think, I am going to do the things I want to do. I will not let my weight keep me from doing anything. I hope you can get to that place without wasting 25 years of opportunities. Here's the thing. The strangers really aren't worrying about you nearly as much as you think. If they are ignorant enough to say something, then they really don't matter. And if you are hiding from your friends/family, guess what, they already know you are fat! And they love you and want to be around you anyway! Hmmm, now why is that? Maybe there are some wonderful, beautiful things about you anyway, whether you fit into that tiny dress or not.

By the way, I want to be Trazey when I grow up! She is an example for us all of how to embrace and enjoy life.

I want to be Trazey when I grow up too!

Her who theory on hibernating this winter and emerging a beautiful butterfly really inspires me, so I'm stealing her idea for myself.

Of course, that provides that I grow up eventually, which may or may not happen. xD

Hasn't happened for me yet!

Sara, you've got some fantastic advice from everyone here which I can only second.

The only thing I have to add is to say that you're only this age once and you're the one that needs to enjoy it. In no time you'll be in your twenties and then thirties - it just goes so very fast that if you wait till you've lost your weight to get out there and enjoy yourself, you're going to look back and regret not doing that.

I know it's not easy, but forget about those other people! Why are the opinions of strangers, who you'll never see again in all likelyhood, that important to you? They're not. If they have an issue with a fat chick going out there and having fun, they're the ones with the problem - not you!

Next time that band comes to town, I hope you'll go - no matter what weight you are.

And I also want to be like Tracey when I grow up. Or Robin. Or Laurie. Or Rhonda. Or Lisa. Or before I name every single person on the forum, anyone who's not let themselves give in to the self consciousness and made a success of this.

I have to ask,who is Trazey??Iam new to the board,but if she has an inspirational story,I would like to know where I can read it...I have read others
,and well I could use all the motivation I can get!!!thanks!!

She's a riot! Very upbeat. Here's her latest thread:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=125937