You didn't say why you wouldn't go in, and folks are assuming that you won't go in because of being insecure about your weight. Is this the case, or is it because you don't know how to swim?

If you don't like bathing suits, wear a comfy set of shorts and a T-shirt- I see many folks doing that nowadays, even thin folks! I hope it isn't because you feel self conscious about your weight. I swim regularly, and I love it. Also, folks don't see the excess weight in the pool. Think of it as a nice way to get some exercise in, while having fun! I've never tried any of the cover ups before- I've seen them, but for me, I think they would be too restrictive. I love to play in the water myself, so I just wear my two piece in there (not a bikini, heh heh, everything is covered up nicely) and sometimes I wear my shorts in with my two piece, depending on where I am. Also, bring a change of clothes so you can change once you get out of the pool, or use a summer dress to go over your bathing suit (I've done that numerous times, LOL).

Also, perhaps if you just got into the pool long enough for your kids to feel comfy in there, maybe they will stay in the pool this year without you. A year makes a difference in kids, this may be the year they stop clinging and try to enjoy themselves.

Can you bring your own folding chair? Perhaps like another person suggested, bring an umbrella with it so you can stay cool.

Please don't feel bad about what folks said above- I agree with them, but it was NOT meant to hurt you. Folks just want you to enjoy this time with your children- remember, they won't remember how heavy we were years up the road- they'll remember the fun, love and happy memories we created together while they were young. That's all my kids talk about from the past- the fun and great times. They don't remember me being fat or thin at those times, they remember me as a fun Mom who enjoyed my time with them, no matter where we were or what weight I was at!

Enjoy every moment of their childhood- pretty soon, you'll be looking at colleges and for Driver's Ed schools like I am for my oldest daughter, asking yourself......where did the time go? I feel right now like I haven't had enough time with them, and now, as she enters 10th grade, my heart just breaks knowing in two years, she'll be on her way to adulthood.

I apologize. I re-read the first post and CC is right. You weren't looking for advice. I opened my big mouth and gave you what I thought was friendly advice and you were really just looking for people who could commiserate or identify. Again, I apologize. I won't do it again.

Oh boy. Can I ever relate to you Crispy. That was me to a T. My good friends always made a pool party for the 4th of July. I dreaded it, dreaded it, DREADED it. I refused to get into a bathing suit. Luckily though, my husband took the kids into the pool. But I was still left there sitting on the sidelines, in the sweltering heat.

I must say, not swimming with my kids is one of my biggest regrets as I look back. I didn't swim with them for years. I hated it and THEY hated it. Yes, they mentioned it. We all missed out on so much.

I'm happy to say that this summer, after more then 15 years of suffering summer after summer, I went swimming. You couldn't keep me OUT of the pool.

And I got to go swimming with one of my kids. And I cried like a baby when I first stepped foot in that pool. In fact, my eyes are welling up right now.

Crispy -

Thank you to everyone who took the time to post. I will think about everything that was said. Thank you Robin for your understanding and hindsight perspective.

Well...I worried about the party, posted, got upset, got over it and now the party is a few hours away and it looks like rain. Ironic.

If the party isn't cancelled I hope you and your kids are able to go and enjoy yourselves. It may be a little late to post and be of any help for this particular situation but I'll go ahead and post my thoughts in the event that it might be useful to somebody else down the road.

I am assuming that the reason you don't want to go into the pool is because your weight makes you feel insecure. I know for certain that was why I didn't like to take my kids swimming when I was 200+ pounds (or go walking, or go to the gym, or to the movies, the list goes on and on...). Then one day a light bulb went off. I realized that I was letting life pass me by because I was fat. I took my kids to the pool and would sit on the sidelines. And why? It wasn't as if I could show up in a turtle neck and pants and people wouldn't know I was fat. News flash...there was no hiding the fact that I was 100 pounds overweight! So, I realized that I had a choice. I could sit and be hot and miserable or I could bite the bullet and climb in the pool to cool down and have fun with my kids. And you know what? I still felt a little insecure but it was MUCH easier to think to myself, "ahh, screw it!" when I was having a good time with my children. I realized that people weren't paying as much attention to the "fat lady" as I had built them up to be. And, frankly, if someone was going to be insensitive enough to point and stare(which is what I was always afraid of...having attention called to the fact that I was fat) at me then they were going to do it whether I was hiding or splashing around like a lunatic. What I found out was that getting involved in the activity at hand actually drew LESS attention to my weight than going out of my way to not be seen. I mean, swimming around didn't make me stand out at the pool because that is what everybody else was doing. On the other hand, sitting out of the pool and looking uncomfortable and unhappy made me stand out like a sore thumb! So, if you don't want to get in the pool DON"T...but make sure it is for the RIGHT reason (you can't swim, don't like to swim, etc). But, if it is hot and you want to take a dip to cool off or have fun with your children the by all means...HAVE FUN! Remember, being overweight isn't a character flaw. You have as much right to enjoy your life as anyone else. And the only person who can keep you from doing just that is you!

Crispy - I relate to getting feelings hurt here. I've been told things that were accurate, but that I wasn't ready to hear, and things that were - quite frankly - incorrect (at least in my opinion). But I've gotten so much intelligent support and feedback that it's worth the risk to me. And even the things I wasn't ready to hear have made me stop and think, and have aided me in my progression. I hope you know that no one intended to hurt your feelings, as least the way I read the posts. I hope that, however the situation was resolved, it came out well.

Having said that, though, I do want to join the cheering squad of those who want to help you to face your insecurities. We all have them, and that's why we tend to feel so strongly about them. I just watched Hairspray, and I want to recommend it. It's not realistic, but it's a lot of fun. Nikki Blonsky stars as Tracy Turnblad, and you can't imagine the number of close-ups they have of her ample proportions as she dances through the movie. I don't know if I could do it, but I have so much admiration for her that she did do it. She wouldn't have had this experience if she had let her weight dictate her career choice.

There will always be catty people who make fun of us for our size, but these are the same people that make fun of the girl with the perfect body because she has a strange-looking mole, or whatever... We just tend to limit ourselves so much more than we need to because of fear of what other people will think. I happen to believe that most people are rooting for most other people. So, if you can, find yourself something to swim in that will be comfortable for you and make some memories with those darling children of yours at the next pool party!!! I agree with you - they will survive a horrible, sweltering, uncomfortable day, as will you. But wouldn't it be so much better as a day of triumph, when you conquered your fear and enjoyed the pool with your children? Good luck to you, whatever your decision.