It's been said--somewhere on this forum I believe--that 80% of weight loss is diet. Exercise is great; it will help you get in shape, healthier, and toned, but in the end, if you want to lose weight, you are going to have to change your diet. I have an associate who runs marathons and he was just commenting to me the other day about how he sees lots of people in these marathons that are clearly in better cardiovascular shape than he is--they can run farther and faster--but they are overweight, sometimes surprisingly overweight.

At particularly high weights, sometimes exercise alone is enough. But you are now less than 40 lbs from your goal (which is fantastic--you've made a lot of progress ). At that weight, I think it is going to take a concentrated focus on your diet to get to your goal and it sounds like you've been a little half-hearted about it up until now. I think 1500 calories a day is a great starting point, with tracking and measuring of everything you eat.

Also 10 lbs or one pants size in two months might be a little aggressive. That's definitely a "stretch" goal. It might be doable, but I don't think it will be easy. I think you might want to go back to your boyfriend and renegotiate the arrangement. Maybe he could pay the amount he was paying for the cheaper gym and you could make up the difference, with no conditions on his portion of the payment. I also think it might be worth trying to negotiate with the gym. You would be surprised what you can negotiate for. Tell them you can't afford the membership rate and that the other gym is $$ cheaper but that you'd really like to stay with them, can they do anything for you.

OK, skipping the other argument lets look at you

In your first post you say that you love the Zumba class and are enjoying the gym...it makes you happy. Weight loss should not be tied into the deal. Are you USING the gym membership? Yup- 4 days a week. Thats what counts. Cancel a gym membership if you are not USING it.

Sometimes it takes time for weight loss to happen. Sometimes you have to experiment with what works for you (i.e. are you REALLY eating only 1500/day or are you ESTIMATING 1500/day) Are you losing fat and gaining muscle, are you not doing as much as you thought and need to add more, etc.

But if you just say "oh, its not working, never mind" you cant get anywhere.

What will you do if he cancels the membership? You finally found exercise you like and can make part of your life. I say now is the time to say, well, maybe the 10 lb thing wasnt realistic, but this is working for me emotionally and spiritually and I will keep at it until I am where I want to be physically. You have to be healthier doing this than NOT doing this.

It sounds like YOU are putting this artificial deadline as an easy excuse to give up without being "at fault".

Oh ..and as for the pants size thing, I've had times where I lost 10 lbs and lost a pants size, I've had times where I lost 30 before I went down a size. It all depends on if I am losing from areas that are the "limiting factor" for my pants (like currently, I am a size 8/10 in the waist and 6/8 in the hips - If I lose more from my hips first, the size isnt going anywhere.)

I know we can't predict when our bodies will fit into a certain size. I guess I was just hoping. Hoping to be a certain size really goes along with thinking we will be skinny if we drop to a certain number on the scale but don't tone up. Because that is not always true either is it?? I just want to be slim, trim and hot today!!! lol.

The anniversary thing is just another goal like wanting to look good as a bridesmaid in your best friends wedding. Just another occassion to set the bar for. If my weight loss revolves around my boyfriend, it is because alot of my life revolves around my boyfriend. I spend alot of time with him. The goals are definately set by myself. But thank you Janie for understanding what i was saying. My boyfriend was only brought in to this because I am so excited that he upgraded my gym membership and how much happier i am at this new gym. And how excited I am that I will definately be seeing some results soon. My post should have been something like....I need some encourgement because I know you all here are struggling with the same things I am. My boyfriend is supportive but he doesn't really know alot about how long we all have been working to lose weight. My 3fc friends here all know when they started a new work out program how long it maybe was before they started seeing results. That's really what I was looking for. THose who work out alot, how long it took you to see results. Would I see some results in 2 months. I am sure my boyfriend will continue to pay as long as I am actually USING the gym this time and am happy going.

I am sure that I will see some results by taking so many classes a week.

Hey there! Good for you for going to the gym. I go six days a week. I use the "cardio" machines and work with weight machines a bit.

I've said this elsewhere--a goal should not be set up as a potential source of disappointment. You've put yourself into a bind here by saying that if you don't meet this goal (that you kind of pulled out of a hat) he doesn't have to pay for your gym. Goals should point you to where you want to go, not be another reason to feel like you've failed.

So, I'd say tell him that you're working toward being a size smaller (I can't remember exactly whether it was one size or not) on your anniversary, but that you'd like to back out of the no-pay agreement. Make it something less punishing. Like, if you aren't down by a size, you'll pay for dinner, and if you are, he'll pay. Something like that, which won't leave you having to give up your membership. Of course, you could probably pay for it yourself, anyway, but I just think the setup is wrong.

Jay

Agreed. I think, if you are using your membership, it shouldn't matter how much weight or inches you have lost. If you are actually using it, it is not going to waste, and that is what matters.

I apoligize if I misunderstood the situation, and misjudged your boyfriend. Maybe he is a nice man. It just sounds to me like you are trying to lose weight becuase it's what HE wants, not so much what YOU want. And that would be a very sad situation indeed....

MY rule of thumb : If a man cannot love and want me as I am now, overweight, and if he cannot love me for ME, for the good, hard working, loving, decent, and humorous person I am, then I don't want him... I want someone to love me for ME. I will not change myself to conform to anyone else's wishes. I will change for myself, and only for myself. This is all for me. This is my gift to myself...

You're doing an awesome job by going to the gym, I'm sure the weight isn't coming off because of your diet...just buckle down on it for a few weeks and you'll see a change for sure. Hang in there, it will come off!

Hmmm .... ya know what's funny, I never read any manipulation into your original post at all. Maybe because we've talked before

Anyway ... back to the point at hand. I'm with whoever said track your food verrrry carefully and I'm gonna suggest putting your mind in your muscle. Pay particular attention to each muscle group as you use it and put just a bit more intensity into your cardio ...

Even if you don't make your goal, you'll look and feel better. And who knows what'll happen (from a financial stand-point) by the time the middle of May comes around.

Hey, I think it's great that your boyfriend offered to pay for your gym membership! I didn't read anything "off" in your original post about this either.

Setting goals is wonderful; as long as you remain flexible with them. 10 lbs. and one pants size in 2 months is very doable but can also be very daunting. As you get closer to your goal date, reassess. Maybe you'll only be down 6 lbs. w/a week to go. If so make sure to readjust your goal. If you still have it in your head that you s/b down those 10 lbs. and are down less than that, you will likely feel frustrated and disappointed. Kindof like setting a gpa for school at 4.0. If you get anything else you have set yourself up for failure. Aim for a gpa of 3.5 and there is "wiggle room" to improve. I tend to set my goals lower rather than higher to build in that "wiggle room". (Gee, I hope that all made sense -- it did in my head! )

You said your muscles were always tired. Perhaps you could alternate between the Zumba class and maybe some other class at the gym to give the Zumba muscles a rest. I know when I used the treadmill every day for an hour a day five days in a row, my legs were constantly tired. They never had a chance to recoup. Now that I alternate and switch things up, they feel fine and I get a better workout when I do use the TM cause they're not so tired. Good luck!!

Jo

P.S. I think your BF sounds very nice!

In terms of seeing results, although I was working out 3 days a week with a personal trainer, I did not see any weight loss or fit into a smaller size until I started tracking everything that I ate and limiting my calories. The exercise was great and I definitely felt better, but I didn't lose weight until I started focusing on my diet. Then it was about two months until I had lost 5 lbs, at which point I could definitely see a difference, but not many other people could. I wasn't into a smaller size until maybe 3 months (although the clothes that I had definitely fit way better at 2 months, so maybe they had been a little small to begin with). After that initial two month period, I lost weight at a rate of about 1 lb per week until I got to within ten lbs of my goal, then things slowed down considerably.