I agree with everyone else...at 145 pounds, I would be jealous of YOUR body.

Everyone is right, though-I mean, she could very well be admiring your purse, your shoes, your hair color-you never, never know.

I believe 100%, that every woman in this world has been given something in the form of physical beauty, BTW...you just have to find what that is, and play it up. If there is something you don't like so much, then downplay that feature.

Let's say you don't like your rear end (who does??) but you think you have a nice smile, and nice full lips. Wear a black skirt to downlplay the rear when you go out...but be sure that you have a lipstick/gloss that looks great on you. Boom-attention goes to mouth, not butt.

Really-this is exactly what celebrities do. You all know Kate Moss? The super skinny model? Teeth-not so good. You don't see her in toothpaste ads, you see her in cologne ads with the blank stare. Look at Debra Messing-her upper body is a bit on the masculine side-sorta straight up and down with broad shoulders and a flatter chest. She covers it up with gads of gorgeous red hair, and no one really notices.

Everyone has flaws, and everyone usually finds a way to covet what someone else has. It is human nature.

However, in my profession, I need to find what is BEAUTIFUL in all women. I wouldn't get very far if I were jealous of every woman who walked into my classes...or if I was jealous and bitter of every other woman that I was in a show with, or am getting education from. I would drive myself insane. Instead, I try to focus on the beauty in each woman, and give genuine compliments. It not only helps my self esteem-but it boosts everyone's around me.

Our best friend's fiance is beautiful & tall thin. She has been told that she looks like a young Meryl Streep but I think she is prettier. She is pregnant now and my DH gave her the nickname "Mama Long Legs". Even pregnant I out weigh her by a good 80 pounds and she has never once made me feel "fat", she compliments me on my hairstyle or an outfit. Even overweight I have more confidence because I am loved for who I am, than this beautiful person, both on the inside and out who has no self esteem. It is so sad.

I have a co-worker that I'm sure weighs a good 50 lbs more than me and you know what? She makes ME feel insecure cause her hair is always styled perfectly, her make-up and nails are flawless, her clothes are sharp and I would KILL for her shoes. And at 145 why in the world are you wearing dark clothes to hide yourself. You may be heavier than what you would like to be, but I'd be willing to bet you don't look as heavy to others as you think you do. Add some color to that wardrobe, try a different lipshade, switch up the hair and earrings and know that you got it going on.

Tik

There's a new episode of What Not To Wear on tonight. I love that show! No matter what the woman looks like, they make her noteworthy!

Like some of you guessed, I am 145 but I am 5 ft only. I have huge legs and things and a really huge butt. I was told by a lot of people to wear dark clothes to hide that butt and create a streamline look even if it makes me look shorter.

I am not envious of her (dont feel like she shouldn't have the body she has) but I just feel jealous (why I don't have a body like hers)...

I agree with all of you that its important to keep on that beautiful smile and a good posture... But I am more concerned abt how I feel afterwards. My mind just gets filled with these negative body image thoughts which make me feel sad abt my body.

Try to come up with some positive ways to deal with how you think you'll be feeling. Use it as motivation to stay on track and perhaps motivate to get in an extra workout session the week following the dinner. Watch what she eats and eat a little less than her and think of it as a game (you'll win!).

It is all about attitude. I confess that I watch what others eat (or even what they put in their grocery carts) and I kind of make it a game--look what I ordered, it is so much more healthy than her. Look at my cart full of vegetables and grains and beans and that lady has hers full of cookies and junk and I'm so much better off because I'm going to eat healthier and my kids are going to be healthier for it too!

Hmmm...I am going to recommend something. Wear dark colors on bottom-and make sure that your shoes/socks/hose are all monochromatic. If you have on a black skirt-then black hose, shoes, etc. and the same with dark brown, or whatever color is going on there.

But-wear bright or lighter colors on top. Black on bottom with a bright red top, or lime, or whatever brights flatter you personally. You want to streamline your bottom half, but you want to "pop" as well.

Try it, and see what you think.

I agree with aphil about the dark on the bottom, bright on top. If you're not so keen on your body currently (though I agree with the rest that 145 shouldn't make you want to dress all in black or anything) then bright colours up to will bring more attention to your face.

Don't forget to smile!!!

I try not to compare myself. Just go, enjoy the company and try to have a great time. Sometimes people who are pretty on the outside aren't nearly as attractive on the inside.

I can relate to how you feel. I get jealous of other women when they just ooze confidence and pride of their curves. Makes me envious I don't feel that comfortable in my own skin. So, hang in there. Like the other girls said, maybe some cheerful colors and a little more makeup will do the trick.

I had this conversation with my step-daughter last night. She was complaining that since having her second baby 7 months ago that she feels she is fat. She is 5'2 and weighs 145 lbs. now. I think she looks great. She has a smaller waist than I do and although her hips and thighs are bigger than mine she has a round butt. I'm taller and more slender with an almost non-existent butt. I like her figure better than my own. To me she looks more like a "natural woman" with curves in all the right places. This other woman may well Envy you the same way. So, do your hair and makeup and feel good about yourself and go enjoy yourself. We all tend to want to look like someone else.

My weight has had many ups and downs over the years. A couple years ago, I was at a low weight for me. Every time I dropped off my daughter for a church activity, another woman who volunteered there would treat me in an awkward manner. She wasn't cold, but definitely not warm or friendly. I felt like she disliked me, but I couldn't figure out exactly what I'd done to offend her.

After a while, my husband became friends with her husband, so we all got together for dinner one night. Over dinner, it came out that every time she saw me with my husband or daughter she would whisper to another church volunteer, "Here come the perfect people." She thought I was pretty, put together, classy, etc... ALL THE THINGS THAT I HAVE NEVER FELT ABOUT MYSELF AND ENVIED IN OTHERS. I could not believe it. I began to tell her how I'd lost 70 pounds (she was shocked), how I felt insecure and frumpy, how her view of me was NOT my view of myself. It made me want to cry, too. I had been so alienated by these women, when I so desperately wanted to fit in and be LIKED. And I had felt about myself the way she felt about herself. And I'd envied others the way she had.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that all women are insecure in some ways. We all want to be liked. And I think all (mature) women GREATLY VALUE female friendship. I think the best thing we can do is reach PAST our own insecurities and reach out to others. When you know you've done all you can do to feel good about yourself THAT DAY, then stop thinking about yourself and think about her. What makes her tick? What is important or special to her? She has many insecurities too, and may desperately need or want a friend.

I am carrying extra weight but I have a slightly different issue...I don't see myself as all that bad....I mean don't get me wrong when I go to buy new clothes and I can't get into anything and the three way mirrors....ugh...but for the most part I tell my hubby that I don't see myself all that bad....he chalks it up to "confidence"...I have been the skinny good looking one and I miss it......but obviously not bad enough to do anything about it.

Liz