I agree - educate, educate, educate! Four years of college seems like h3ll to some, but it will drastically alter your quality of life afterwards. Do as much school as you possibly can, especially with a 3.9 GPA! You obviously have a gift, it is up to you to maximize on that.

I just heard something on the radio that people who get their bachelor's degrees make a million dollars more over the course of a lifetime than their non-degreed peers.

Well...It's not the matter of really trying to be independent or trying to get out into the world. It's what I NEED to do to keep my sanity. Look at my other posts to see how my mom is...it's **** to live with her, so staying at home to go to college isn't an option I am willing to do at all. I am going to consider college, but it won't be here by my home.

I understand having a degree gets you much more money and all of that...but it doesn't do much good if later on you move to a different country and don't know the language fluently.

And as for living with my boyfriend's parents, I really like them as it is, and I know the bad habits of his mom and dad. I actually ADORE him mother because she is everything my mom isn't, and I would be extremely happy to live with her because she has rules and she lays them down. I would be happy to follow those rules because I have never had a rule in my life...for curfew, anything...and that always makes me feel like no one cares for me because they don't care what I do.

She's the mother I never had and it's only a year with them. And even if they're annoying or anything, those small annoyances are better than what my mom does.

And if I'm not worrying over everything such as bills and the such, I can stabilize I job by his house and his college, and see about classes. I'm already saving up for all of that. I might have $6,000 dollars by the end of graduation...so I'm not a freeloader...and I especially hate being a burden so it's not like I'm taking advantage of the situation.

As I said in my post, I totally understand. I needed to get away for my own sanity as well and that is why I went to college and lived on campus all years that I went to school. The first 2 years, I had to live at home about a month in the summer, while the last 3 years, I was able to live on campus the entire summer. It is possible to go to college without living at home and in fact I highly recommend it.

You're not committed enough to marry him but you're committed enough to put off your education for his? What would happen if you suggested that since you've got great grades, the kind of grades that get scholarships, he works to support the two of you while you go to school and it's his further education that gets postponed?

I also had to move out to save my sanity... problem was I failed miserably the first time and had to come back home. That SUCKED!!! Basically I was treated like an unwanted guest until I moved out again. I lived with them for several more months and jumped at the opportunity to move in with my then boyfriend (now husband)... we'd only been together for 6 months and neither of us has anything because we both lived with our parents... but we made it work.
It IS possible... but now that I've had 7 years out on my own and I work full time and we have so much debt that it keeps my hubby up and night ... I really wish we would have slowed it down and gone to school. We now are in a position where going back to school feels impossible because we can't afford to stop working full time. I don't know if I really have a point... just wanted to give you a snapshot of possible future. Don't be in such a hurry.
Not only do I regret not going to school, I also regret getting married so soon and not getting a chance to try being on my own. I think it would have been good for me.
My parents were also very erm.. lax in their guidance with me. I really wish they had set more boundaries for me now that I look back on it. But they are just people too and make mistakes and the older and more experience you get in the world the more you realize things like this. Wish I knew these things at your age...
good luck in your decisions and feel free to send me a pm if you want to talk more.

MariaMaria- I never said I wasn't commited to marrying him...In fact, we're in a very serious relationship and I think we are on the way to that point in a few years. But marrying isn't on my mind at this point...and if anyone asked me, I would say that I am commited to marrying him. But that is being way ahead of myself. In fact, the reason I don't want to go to college is because of MY beliefs, and I am not postponing my education for anyone. I just don't want to go to a college, as I said, for my own views. And I prefer harder manual work than educational this and that...I actually prefer a poorer lifestyle, as stupid as it may sound to anyone...but I will go to college when I decide to. But I am definitely not going to because someone else doesn't want me to. And I find the entire thing tedious. If it's in my future, then it is. If it's not, I'll deal with it when I get there. But I am dealing with now...and no one is stopping me from anything I want. But I don't want to go to college.

And as the biggest concern...I am NOT in hurry. I am trying to be reasonable. If I were in a hurry I would have rushed out already...but I created this topic not to be told I'm in for a "rude awakening", but am wanting information TO make my decision. But overall...with my depression, with what I want out of life, etc...I am not into the whole college thing...and should I go, I am going to either do night classes or community college, get my degree, and go.

I do not say I know everything and I am not definite on my future...these are my plans...and I can not see myself getting through college at this point in time...with my and boyfriend or not.

Gamerchick,

First let me apologize on behalf of everyone on here if we offended you with our comments about how important it is to go to college and be independent for a while. No one means any malice by these comments, in fact they are made out of true concern by women who have been where you are and are now having to face difficult times because of choices that we made.

Second, it shows real maturity on your part to say that at this point in time, you aren't ready for college. Many a person has blown thousands of dollars on college and not finished because they weren't ready but went because someone said they should go.

Third, how about a stint in the Peace Corp? You can do a lot of good for a lot of very needy people and also learn more about yourself, more about the world we live in and be independent and on your own for a while. I understand that you love your boyfriend and he loves you. You both have the rest of your lives to be together. Take some time now, while you are still young to get out there be on your own, to grow, and to make a difference.

Again, best of luck in what you decide.

Tiki

Tiki-great post.

I agree, nice post Tiki. I think if I hadn't gone to college, something like the Peace Corps would've been nice.

To answer the question you actually asked, our apartment was $700/mo. (It was the cheapest place we could find in the part of town we wanted, and our mortgage is more. We moved out of the apartment in July 2004.) Both cars are paid off, so we only carry insurance, which we hold separately. Mine is about $400/yr.

Groceries are $400/mo minimum, but shipping adds expense to EVERYTHING here. Utilities are another $100, if we're careful with consumption. Gas is $40/mo, maintenance roughs out to $50/mo (older cars). Everything else is extra. (Actually the car stuff is extra, too -- I *could* take public transit, I just choose not to.)

So, for Anchorage, AK, if you find a super-cheap apartment, minimum cost of living is about $1200 (add another ~$125-150/mo for vehicle costs). It's likely cheaper where you are. (Have you looked at online classifieds for the places you're considering? Would you two be willing to consider getting a larger place with a roommate, or do you need your privacy? How much extra stuff do you have -- we could likely have made do with a smaller place if we had less stuff, but we're still working on that one.)

Now, for the part you didn't ask: I too, was desperate to get out of my parents' house. I was 20 and dating the Other Human and needed to get away from their dysfunction. (A mild but life-changing moment: My dad physically prevented me from taking my SAT, then berated me for not applying to colleges.)

Anyway, the Other Human and I got the cheap apartment and stayed there for EIGHT YEARS while I tried to work FT and finish my degree. We bought a house in 2004. (At 6 credits a semester, my degree is taking forever and we didn't want to wait any longer to buy. Also, we could afford to do so.) I don't regret for a second moving in with the Other Human, even after 10 years of unwedded bliss, but I do wish I'd had a chance to prove to myself I could survive on my own. However, I wouldn't trade him and the cats for that opportunity, so I made peace with that choice.

You said college is not for you; I don't know what your beliefs are regarding this, but if you have no objection to getting a degree in and of itself, please consider correspondence courses. I've found some that are relatively inexpensive and have fairly long timetables for completion -- a boon for those of us with jobs! Please PM me if you'd like details; I'm not trying to force anything on you, I'm just offering additional options if you'd like them.

There are also a lot of great sites out there about living frugally (dollar stretcher comes to mind). Best of luck to you. (I hope I didn't come off as preachy, and I apologize for the above novel!)

Does the Peace Corps even take people without a degree?

Another suggestion would be an apprenticeship in a skilled trade (electrician, carpenter, plumber, etc).

This is for peace corps:
You may already know that all Peace Corps Volunteers must be U.S. citizens of at least 18 years of age. Here are a few things that might surprise you:

There is no upper age limit. In fact, the oldest Volunteer ever to serve in the Peace Corps was 86.
You don't have to know another language.
Having a four-year college degree by the time you're ready to leave for the Peace Corps will help your chances of acceptance. But it isn't absolutely necessary, and for some programs work experience, relevant skills, and/or a community college degree can qualify you.

Also, there is Americorps which is just in the US. Americorps do a variety of different projects include helping with Habitat for Humanity.

Here are some qualifications for Americorps:

* Between 18 and 24 years old?
* Seeking hands-on work in one of the following areas:
o Clearing trails,
o Providing disaster relief,
o Renovating housing,
o Tutoring kids,
o Or other active assignments?
* Interested in doing a variety of projects?
* Looking to relocate and travel during your service term?
* Willing to live in a dorm?
* Excited about living and working with a close-knit team?