Cap. I am proud of you for sticking to your guns and ordering a salad. .I am starting to realize as are you that this entrance into maintenance really is a life change..in which everyone around us is reacting and adjusting. At first people are enthusiastic about the loss, then as time goes on..when we are not members of the I need to lose weight club, you are somewhat of an outsider..my job..
You are right about envy playing a part.
I decided to talk to one of my confronters yesterday about her comments. She honestly said she did not mean to hurt my feelings, but that she was envious of the way I looked. She thought I looked great.

Now family is another story. My husband taps into his insecurities with being threatened by my new way of dressing. Your husband tapped into his with his tirade on salads. You are right..in some ways they want their old partner back..but as you said that is not going to happen. Time, time, and more time...and they do calm down and get over it and they will get used to our new lifestyle.
By the way..you can shred your cauliflower and then put it in a bowl with no water and saran wrap..then microwave it for 2or 3mins to cook it.

New Englander: I say use the bars and shakes if you enjoy them!!! They are so handy and convenient.

Sewmam: I also look at the nutritional breakdown more than the serving size..then adjust. I don't eat popcorn!


Patns:;I am glad you are getting fruit back in your diet..a tiny step that Phase 3 is working!

Sarabean: Your wedding sounded fun! Hope maintenance is going well.

This is from a blog from a nurse therapist. I thought she had some interesting points on maintenance.

I want to focus on self-concept, emotions, relationships & the formation of new goals & desires. These were four areas that needed work in my own life. I had been a yo-yo dieter since my teen years & so now I found myself at a loss with who I really was physically. I still believed I was heavy, then after awhile I began to believe I was too thin, probably because everyone & their brother seemed to have some opinion about me, my weight & everything else. Quite honestly, I never knew I was so interesting to others. People I didn't even know before would stop me in the hallway of our office building & ask me questions, such as "are you anorexic?" "Weren't you over-weight not all that long ago?" "Are you sick?" "Do you think it's a good idea to be so thin?" I kid you not. And, these were people I didn't even know.

As for my family, there was such an interest in not only my weight, but everything I put in my mouth & didn't put in my mouth. It seemed that I offended just about everyone & my new habits had a way of migrating into their lives & "how could you do this to us?" Excuse me? Here's a few others. "What do you expect us to do when you come to dinner?" "What about holidays? Are you going to ruin them by not eating what I/we prepare?" "Are you going to bring your own food?" "You weren't really fat, so why did you go & do this?" "What should we tell others who ask about you?" This is just a smattering.

My emotions were all over the place. Here I expected to be slim, healthy & happy & now I found myself having to deal with many new issues that quite honestly, !@#$% me off. I was told that I was selfish, unbalanced, immature, ridiculous, uncaring & a whole host of other things.....then, when I responded I heard the stories how my weight loss & improved health made it difficult for others. Then, when I would get annoyed or impatient/intolerant, I was to blame for this as well. My inner Child, who was always very co-dependent whispered in my ear, "See what you did?"

My weight loss didn't arrive by itself. Yes, I was a very different person because I had learned so much about myself during the process. While others thought about losing weight I had gone & done it. For those who have gone through the process, you do know that the experience is often about truly seeing yourself for the first time. Activities change. Conversations change. Friends who enjoyed over-eating or bingeing or talking diet talk simply don't include you any longer. It was like being in a leper colony. I couldn't even go to the water cooler without finding awkward moments.

So, of course, relationships change & those permanent ones, like husband, fiance, best friend, family, etc. also change. It's just the way it is, but there are things we need to do to take care of ourselves through all of this.

Next comes "what comes next?" Once we move through the fear of gaining the weight back, then we need some plans, not only for dealing with the above, but for how we want to spend the rest of our lives. Think about it. How many years, or decades was weight loss the goal? Now that is accomplished, so..... we have many options. We need to write new stories for ourselves & live from inside of those. As we do, we'll find that many of the other things will take care of themselves, perhaps not always as we would like them to do, but that is something we need to accept. Our change will effect change in others....some good & some not so good. The weight loss journey is truly a cleaning & clearing....learning to let go, not only of many old destructive habits, but other things as well. Then, on the other side of the coin there is the welcoming of a whole new life & the excitement of what is to come.

That is really good stuff, Maile! Thanks! We really do need to write a new story, a new tape of our lives. It goes by so quickly. No more regrets on what we did not do, we've gone and done it! I now believe that nothing is impossible.

Okay, what kind of counts do each of you use for your lunch and dinner? Breakfast is laid out for us, but the rest of the day is not as clear.

From what I see on the IP Phase 4 sheet, they are pretty vague on total carbs, etc., they just say '1 serving' of this or that.

So are you finding from experience what works for you in the total daily carb/protein/fat/calories count and setting your own limits from that? If so, is there a guideline that you follow?

Thanks!

PS: from what somebody else posted yesterday, the video links may have useful info - I can't watch them at home yet - but they are not IP and may be old. They are what one clinic's response was to help their clients. There may well be good info on there, but I am finding it confusing to jump from one stance to another...at least now, in the beginnings of Phase 4.

Quick question for my dh who is in maintenance. He brought a yogourt to have as a snack, i know yogourt are considered fats so it would have to be a morning snack. But those are fat free yogourt and it has 6g of carbs so would it be better to have as an afternoon snack?

Thanks!

hi everyone. I'm back from vacation and need to catch up on the thread later when I have time... I'm up a few pounds. I owe that to chips and guac and other small treats here and there. I didn't go overboard.

We were in Arizona and it was 100... Back to northern VA and it was 50 when we landed on Sunday. What a change!! More later.

Maile- thank you for passing along another illuminating post. It really does help when there are others out there lighting the way and identifying the markers that we are seeing at this point.
It's interesting to me that people who knew me 'before' are almost distrustful and quite guarded. And strangers are so friendly and welcoming- where they wouldn't have noticed me before. It is true that I get much less flak from those that are comfortable with themselves and thankfully most of my closest friends fall in this category so I haven't felt completely alienated.

SewMam- I don't eat popcorn. I read a post from RockyMonarch in an old 'life after phase 1' thread and she had been maintaining for a year at the point that someone posed that exact question (about the popcorn) to her. She said save it for the treat day... and it kind of stuck with me.
Have you ever tried roasted chickpeas? You can make them as spicy or savory as you like and they taste almost exactly like corn nuts! Super easy to make...

BusyMom- Yogurt regardless of fat free is usually still considered a fat. How many of the carbs are from sugar? Really, it's okay for him to have it as long as it doesn't cause an insulin spike or a gain. But, from most of what I've read, dairy is one of those things that is best kept to 1 serving a day, preferably in the morning. Does he like cottage cheese? Fruits? Veggies? Hummus?

Thanks! - do you cook the chickpeas first until tender, then coat w/oil and bake? Bake them raw? I'll try googling them...

Since the greek yogurt I use is fat-free and has alot of protein, I count that as my protein on the breakfast chart. I asked the IP speaker at a recent talk about whether I should focus on more carb oriented snacks in the afternoon, and he said it didn't matter. If anything, choose things that are good protein for snacks. I frequently have a greek yogurt for my evening dessert too, with the fruit allowed at dinner.

But then again, as time goes on maybe I'll find I need to change that. It seems that Phase 4 is wide open and everybody finds what works for them.

Sorry, that may be clear as mud.

SewMam- When I made them I dry roasted them for almost a half hour took them out tossed them in the oil/ seasonings put them back in and roasted them for another 15. From what I had read if you put the oil on right away it can lead to them being too soft/ not crunchy enough. Dry roasting them for a bit is supposed to help prevent this. You really only need enough oil to make the seasoning adhere to the beans... There's a million different seasoning combos out there- depends on your taste. I love super spicy so I'm a chili powder, garlic powder, cumin, paprika, cayenne girl all the way! Hope you enjoy yours- let me know how they turn out!

Thanks, i decided that yogourt like all dairy are considered as fats wether they're fat free or not so i told him to have it as his morning snack. He usually has a 100-calorie snack in the afternoon which are 16g carbs and 4g fat so definitely PM snack.

He's doing so well (too well) in phase 4...since moving to phase 2, he is now 7lbs under his goal and his dr. told him no more shakes (even for his phase 1 day) as his latest blood test showed that his kidneys are working too hard. But for lunch he'll have cheese, salad dressing, protein and veggies and for dinner he'll have whole wheat pasta, potatoes, brown rice, bread with veggies and protein and every morning he's either the same or a bit down.

I doubt i would be able to eat as much as he does but he's my guinea pig for phase 4, lol. I like the approach of having real regular food and learn about combination of what works for you.

Thanks. I thought things like fruits and hummus were carbs and should be for afternoon snacks? He usually has cheese for morning snacks but forgot it this morning. He does have greek yogourt or cottage cheese with his breakfast.

I tried making this tonight. it was delicious!!! But the crust wasn't really crust. it fell apart and we had to eat with a fork.... what's the secret?

I don't understand how fat free yogurt could still be considered a fat...

re. the cauliflower crust...I have been experimenting with other vegetables and found that if you just leave them in the oven longer and even flip them over, they will turn into a sort of flatbread and be firmer. Haven't tried to then put pizza toppings on and see if that version will still hold, but it's worth a shot. The time I made the cauliflower pizza crust, I used fat-free mozza in the crust and it was too soft to pick up. The flatbread used no cheese in the crust - maybe that was difference...