We found that we added "obligation" invites based on what we thought our parents would request in addition to who we thought would "expect" an invite. I had a friend reassure me that an invitation to a wedding truly is and should be an honor.

I based my revised list on who I really wanted there- the people I simply could not envision getting married without- and then went back to the longer original and cut every person I would not want to have interrupt me while I was talking to the people on the revised list. For example, I would not want one of my fiance's co-workers, whom I have never met, to decide to introduce himself/herself to me while I am talking to our international guests or my 93-year-old grandmother.

Mandalinn- I'm sorry to hear about your dad's side of the family! I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to scream, "Why can't we all just get along?" Reading that was one of them!

You know, I got myself to a point where I basically said "I only want people to be there who are there to celebrate my union" - I didn't want people to come because it was a novelty, or because they felt obligated. We ended up with a mix of people who all wanted to be there because they were happy for us, which was just where we wanted to be. And everyone has a right to their opinion...not inviting them let me keep that negativity away from my day. It doesn't make them bad people, it makes them people who don't understand and/or come from a different perspective, and thats fine...just not what I wanted on that particular day.

Now family functions, thats another matter. I had to practice my responses before last Thanksgiving..."my life is not a topic of debate". Oy.

You all have the right idea about the guest list I think, ultimately it should be about who matters to you and who you want to share that day with.

My sister recently sent me her master list from her wedding to help me make my own. I’ll probably invite fewer relatives than she did. There are just a few that I don’t know too well that I would invite because I know my grandma will enjoy seeing them. Her health is not too good (she suffered a stroke about a year ago and has partial paralyzation) and I know she’d really enjoy getting a chance to see some of her cousins, brother-in-law, etc. so I’ll send invites to them. A lot of them are also older and have issues that would make travel difficult so I don’t know if many would actually be able to come, but I will send them an invite at least.

Thanks for the tip about the destination wedding gowns. I looked at the ones on the sandals website, I do like some of the styles but they are all rather slim-fitting and look like they’re made of clingy fabric, not exactly what I need to flatter my figure. I’m a shorter full hour-glass, even if I lose a substantial amount of weight that will be the case so I’m thinking I need something that accentuates the smallest part of my waist, fuller A-line skirt, and minimizes the boobs, and draws attention away from my upper arms. Mighty lot to ask of a dress I know! I think I just have to try lots on, I believe I will know when I find “the one”.

Mandalinn- great attitude!

A rift has slowly developed on one side of my family that doesn't have any immediately identifiable source. I refer to our relationship as "estranged but the 'e' is silent" because I honestly don't think anyone can explain why we just don't talk to each other. It was hard to decide that the day would be about our wedding, not some attempt at fostering family unity, but I immediately felt better when I just decided to not invite them.

Shan- I found a dress style in a European catalog that is shirred at the waist and was surprised to see it at David's Bridal, of all places. It will be the style of my bridesmaids' dresses and the most likely style of my dress, too. It is incredible flattering on everyone who has tried it on. Even right now, while I have a belly (yuck!), it looks pretty good!

Most dresses in this style are sleeveless but I found one with a very pretty lace top that has a 3/4 length-sleeve that reveals while concealing the arms, if ya know what I mean!

I'll e-mail you some pictures sometime soon.

Enjoy some WI weather this weekend!

Hey gals! Well, the bridesmaid dresses are ordered! It feels good to have that taken care of. They are from David's - not my first choice, but pretty close - I compromised style/details for color - I wanted the cinnamon since it's a fall wedding. Let's see if I can insert a photo.

My dress has the same roushing (I think that's what it's called) at the waist, so they match my dress quite well, although mine have lace sleeves and a beaded/sequined bodice.

We got dyed to match shoes and I think I'll look for chiffon wraps for them in brown.

Now it's time for tuxes!
Cindy

BfL CatI love that brides maids dress it is so cute.

BfL Cat- You have great taste! I have the same bridesmaids' dresses picked out in clover for my March 29, 2008 wedding. My bridesmaids loved it because the additional layer of fabric in the front hides a multitude of sins, not to mention provides additional warmth! I'd love to see a picture of your dress as I am hoping to keep the style of my wedding dress similar to my bridesmaids' dresses, too.

Shan- sorry, I haven't sent the pictures of the dresses I plan to try on. I spent a relaxing, do-nothing weekend in Madsion, of all places! I thought of you as we drove past Monona Terrace- on our way to the Essen Haus, where my diet officially derailed. We also hit the Angelic, which has an awesome Asian salmon salad, and the Admiralty Restaurant in the Edgewater Hotel, where we stayed.

Lafayette – Glad you enjoyed your weekend in Madison! My DF got in trouble last time we were at the Essen House when one of the servers overheard him refer to the wait staff as “beer wenches”. It was after a couple of boots had been passed, and really, in those costumes it’s really not too off the mark. I love brunch there, the French toast is dangerous! Angelic is another one of my haunts, but I prefer the Dane for the beer selection.

I got out for a lovely run at picnic point over the long weekend. Too much going on right now and I need to get back to work. Hope to get back to thinking about wedding stuff after we close on the townhouse, a visit from my FMIL, moving, organizing 2 work events (major changes just thrown my way on the one that is happening on June 9), I’ve got a 5k this Saturday…you know…stuff.

Look forward to seeing those dresses whenever you get a chance to send or post pictures!

I just told my fiance the beer wench story... he said that's like walking into Hooters and getting scolded for saying, "Look! Hooters!"

We went there for lunch so we ate on the Essen House deck but were actually served by Come Back Inn. Sadly, I missed the outfits!

OK, BfL Cat- I have good news to report on our bridesmaids' dresses: I saw a wedding today where the bridesmaids had our dresses. (I work in an office building that hosts weddings ion our courtyard during the summer.) The girls were all different shapes and sizes and they all looked GORGEOUS! Yippee!!!

Lafayette - good to know! I love that you are doing the clover color - I would definitely like that for a Spring wedding.
Cindy

Hey girls have you had any wedding dreams. I had one the other night that was really freeky. I was running up and down the aisle trying to make sure everything was okay, ( in my wedding dress, might I add!!). Everything that could go wrong went wrong. I am scared that this might happen. I dont know why I had this dream. I havent started my wedding planning quite yet.

Anyone had any dreams like that????

From a just-married...Yes!

Wedding dreams are about to become a solid part of your reality. I had at least one a week for the last 6 months of planning.

Mine have ranged from normal to mildly psychotic! I even had a dream that an ex-boyfriend tried talking me out of it.

Mostly, I just fantasize about eloping... we went to the bakery last Saturday only to discover the $119 price I had been quoted for a sheet cake (to supplement a smaller tiered cake for the cutting) was not the $209 "display" cake pricing and, therefore, will not apply for our wedding. Hmm, what do I get for the extra $90 if it doesn't even say "Happy Birthday" or something?

I ask you, as I asked the bakery, how exactly does one display a sheet cake that will be kept back in the kitchen? I may ask them to write, "(The bakery) sucks" on the it.