Pageta, no one is a bigger klutz when it comes to learning "choreographed" exercise routines than me - I learned to avoid aerobics in the 80s, dancercize in the 90s, kickboxing routines in the 2000s, and now am happily avoiding the newest choreographed craze, Zumba. But the beauty of DVDs, and even better, Youtube videos, is the stop and rewind feature. I can now replay anything I don't get over and over again, until I understand it. Plus, many of the videos TEACH you how to do the moves (e.g. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPFgNEKxMds or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7K6yFOjsJI). Anyway, I'm not trying to make you do anything you don't want - and my favorite summer exercise is a 15-mile bike ride so I totally get the psychological aspect of doing things. But, I am a big fan of getting all the information before you make a decision, and because I'm a huge proponent of year-round exercise, I just wanted you to know all your options.

JayEll, have you ever read the posts of Scott Abel (http://scottabel.blogspot.com/). He is that most unusual of people- an exercise and "diet" (actually, anti-diet-mentality) coach who writes about the evils caused by the "forced march" of modern societal expectations, especially toward women's appearance. I sense his ideas would resonate with you - you may want to check him out; he's certainly influenced my thinking.

After a week of super-clean eating and daily exercise, my weight hasn't shifted an ounce. To make myself feel better, I kept right on eating after dinner tonight :>( Must cut myself off. Now.

You know how you just **know** when your weigh-in is going to be disappointing? I knew last night when I looked at my stomach. And so earlier this morning, I was standing in the kitchen making coffee, putting off my regular Friday morning appointment with the scale -- as if by walking around a little first, I could perhaps lose some tiny fraction of a pound. And yes, this week seems to have erased much of last week's loss. I'm at 150.7. But I understand because I have not restricted much, just cut back on snacking on nuts. This loss is going to be a tough one.

Remember when I got a new scale for Christmas? Remember how I was leery of it because it requires batteries? Well, this morning it weighed me 7 pounds less than I expected. Same result for about six weighs (yeah, obsessed one here). I tried my old scale and got a result closer to what I expected. Went back to the new one and got a weight closer in line with what I expected BUT still clearly lower than it should be. I guess replacing the batteries will be necessary.

Oh yes... I hear you here. I knew as well. My weight continues to climb. Not sure what else to do. I guess true reflection needs to come into play and real restriction needs to start. I had really hoped to be back down before dh came home. He comes home Sunday and I'm higher than when he left. He is tired of Chinese food and is dreaming of great food (ie-- restaurants) here. So I know I'm in trouble.

It's amazing how much "cutting back on small things" feels like all-out restricting. I am in the same boat.

I know for you, and for me too, too much restriction and vigilance could topple the house of cards and the holographic "well balanced healthy person" we show the world - to great psychological and emotional, physical too, detriment.

Krampus, yes, a serious portion of my life is devoted to presenting myself as a walking "optical illusion," to quote Jenna Marbles.

Yesterday I got up too late, fretting over a meeting at which I'd have to talk about a plan of attack for collecting data from four spreadsheets and 10 pivot charts. I took two antihistamines because the tree pollen suddenly got to me, walked to the gym, did cardio, found I'd forgotten my weight routine, felt completely at a loss. Went home, uneasy at not having done what I'd planned. Found myself feeling so cold in sweaty clothes that I shook, but I couldn't change, because I had to take a call. Drank a lot of chamomile tea with stevia, and then found myself eating spoonfuls of stevia, standing up in the kitchen. An ugly, ugly binge. Connected somehow to not having done weights and to intense nervousness over the spreadsheet thing. Only after the meeting -- which was not disastrous, though I was clearly the least data-crunching & analytical person on the call -- did I calm down. Then I started falling asleep at my desk due to the antihistamines. When I am like this, in my half-crazy state, if I add extreme food restriction to the mix, I am asking for a return of ugly binge behavior.

I want to be kinder to myself this weekend. I want not to think about work. Unfortunately, I need to teach myself a little Excel in my spare time for a Tuesday meeting. My goal is just to cook healthily for the coming week. This is not time for a return of the severe calorie-aware regimen.

I've been eating well all week, neither restricting nor overeating. Yesterday my calories were slightly higher, but within my range. I had a large brunch after church with a friend but tracked things, and if today were a "normal" Sunday I'd be fine and feel good about weighing in tomorrow.

But it's not a normal Sunday, is it? It's Cinco de Mayo, a made up holiday that is all about over-indulging. And I'm meeting friends for dinner at a Mexican place, and everyone will be drinking margaritas and downing tortilla chips and deep fried things. And I want to join them and eat and drink with reckless abandon. I also want my scale to move downward at tomorrow's weigh in. Those things are mutually exclusive.

Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Saef, sounds rough.
Jen, yes, grrrrr.
Kramp, speaking to the outside world :

Ladies, I think my town biatches are talking about whether or not I'm anorexic. (per some comments and my own interactions with some folks)

Unfortunately, I know what that Really is, and I also know I am not.

I have stayed at this lower weight all year, with relative ease. I know what foods are better for me, how much of them are better, and what lesser food choices feel like. I have been running.

talk about grrrrr and image to the outside world

on the upside, today I did a half marathon! I ran with the 2:45 pacer and came in at 2:41. I am totally at peace with this

my friend, with whom I drove, was upset with 2:02. I reminded her she just ran 13.1 miles and was pretty awesome.

let's forge on. it's not easy, but we must.

Unfortunately I'm one to give in to my inner demons. Anorexia? I love food too much. And it's all about homemade for Cinco de Mayo tonight. I don't relish looking at the scale tomorrow.

Went to see Iron Man 3 today. What fun! Laughed a lot!

saef, I hope your week will be as boring and routine and moderate as humanly possible.

alinnell, what did you make at home for Cinco de Mayo?

kitty, CONGRATS on the half! That's awesome. I don't know where you live but I'm sorry people are accusing you of having an eating disorder. Tell them all to shut up!

Jen, how was your day? I went completely overboard, weighed in, and it wasn't that bad. I'll weigh less eventually.

It started with blackberry margaritas (used 12 ounces of fresh blackberries). Very good, not too sweet. I whipped up a batch of fresh guacamole (my first time at making this and even DS said it was really good and he doesn't like avocados) and finally some chicken enchiladas using a rotisserie chicken. I did partake of everything, but all in moderation. And yet the darn scale said I overate.

Oh, I definitely overdid it at the restaurant - by a lot. Which wouldn't be a big deal but I allowed it to turn into a binge when I got home. I love peanut butter, and in my mood at the time I decided I'd already "ruined" the day and just started eating it by the spoonful. Gross.

I'm not mad about the overeating, I'm mad at the falling back into old habits.

The scale was up this morning, of course. Yes, it'll come down again, and I'm not going to beat myself up too badly. But I also can't be too forgiving to myself, you know? I mean, it's been awhile since I've done this, but I can't allow it to keep happening.

Jen, this is exactly why I do not allow peanut butter in my house.

Ugh the peanut butter binge is the worst. I've been down that road a few times - I never do it unless I'm drunk nowadays probably because I have more fat in my diet.

I don't know about you, but I am like a mustard gas factory over here. This is all the incentive I need to get my act together. We'll move on!

I got engaged over the weekend! It was done in a very typical way for my boyfriend. We went away for the weekend up the coast. Saturday, we were midway through a grueling mountain bike ride, and we had already 1) forded a river with our bikes on our shoulders (and I slipped where it was deep and banged my knee on the rocks); 2) ran away from a bear; and 3) climbed a mountain all day. So of COURSE the time to propose to me is when we are filthy, sweating and exhausted (and I'm also bleeding)! He packed the ring along the entire time because this was his plan - somehow this made sense to him.

We also saw a pod of grey whales just off the coast (literally about 10 feet off of the beach, there was a deep shelf) and two of them were breaching straight up in the air right next to us. So incredible. Of course does either of us have a phone or camera? No. Of course not.

I'm not weighing myself for a little while. It was an active, exercise filled weekend but we also celebrated with way too much booze and food - I vaguely remember stuffing some sort of pastry into my mouth one night but was too drunk to even register what it was. We'll let that debauchery pass through the system first.