LOL!! Yes, and it is A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y killing me!!! I must have been obsessed because I still am thinking about it almost a week after I stopped weighing!! It's like I need that little number so I can keep track to see if what I am doing is "good enough." I just have to trust my body and trust what I am eating and go from there!

Oh, and you are doing great by the way...so close to your goal!!

Breakfast: Two slices whole wheat toast with all-natural pb and fruit spread (156)
Lunch: Lean Cuisine Meatloaf & Mashed Potatoes and snap peas (370)
Snacks: Chobani greek yogurt w/kashi (157), Gum (10), Popcorn (100), FiberOne bar (140), 2 teaspoons peanut butter (66), 5 pieces of kashi cereal (island vanilla) (35)
Dinner: Chicken w/broccoli and brussel sprouts, jello sugar free dark chocolate mousse (440)

Calories: 1474
Exercise: 2.44 mile walk

It is gorgeous here today...finally! It has been in the 90s and humid for quite some time now and it is a breezy 75 this morning (and it's only supposed to get as high as 80). I took my dog for a quick walk this morning before work and I'll take him for another tonight...and I'm hoping to get some walks in during the day today.

I went to a birthday party last weekend and people I haven't seen in a few years were asking me how I lost all the weight. When I said that over the last five years I changed the way I ate, started moving more, and started counting calories in January it just sounded too easy...even to me. They were all very supportive and excited for me, but they seemed a little stumped like, "that's it?!" Granted, it may sound easy, but it is not an easy process. It took a lot of emotional work to get where I am now, and five years ago when I started this journey it started with very small steps with eating and drinking. Switching from 6 diet cokes a day plus orange juice for breakfast, to 1 diet coke a day plus oj for breakfast, to just water. Going from Lucky Charms for breakfast with a bagel and cream cheese, to Cheerios with english muffins, and now down to wheat toast with all natural peanut butter. Going from Encore Lasagna oven meals with half a loaf of italian bread with butter for dinner, to baked chicken with brussel sprouts. Some days are not easy and my emotional monster still comes and goes, but I haven't binged in almost 7 months which is a huge accomplishment for me. Anyway, the point of all this rambling is that weight loss is not always easy...it also doesn't mean that you have to switch up everything you are used to all at once (unless that is what works for you). b.a.b.y.s.t.e.p.s. All those little steps will eventually add up and lead you into something grand.

Breakfast: Two slices whole wheat toast with all-natural pb and fruit spread (156)
Lunch: Lean Cuisine Chicken Fried Rice and snap peas (380)
Snacks: Chobani strawberry greek yogurt w/kashi (157), Gum (10), Popcorn (100), 2 Coffee Rio coffee caramels (30), Cheese stick (80), 1tsp peanut butter (33)
Dinner: Baked chicken w/laughing cow cheese, brussel sprouts, jello sugar free pudding (466)

Calories: 1412
Exercise: 45-minute yoga class, 1.5 mile walk

I just took a drink of water and some of it went out of the side of my mouth, down my chin, and onto my shirt...it's gonna be one of those days.

Quotes that keep me moving and committed to this journey:

• The only way I am going to fail is if I give up.
• Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining your weight is hard. Pick your hard.
• Time is going to pass anyway, so you might as well do something with it.
• Make a conscious choice to make today a good, healthy day.
• A year from now you will be glad you started and that you didn't give up today.
• Food is fuel ~ that's it.

I can claim authorship over none of these except #4. They all mean so much to me, though, and they help keep me focused when I'm having a rough day...hopefully they can help someone else out, too!

Oh...and I gave up eating my baked cheetos for lunch...it makes me feel like I am eating more when I have a plate full of a box of veggies!

Breakfast: Two slices whole wheat toast with all-natural pb and fruit spread (156)
Lunch: Lean Cuisine Butternut Squash Ravioli and snap peas (380)
Snacks: Chobani pomegranate greek yogurt w/kashi (157), coffee caramel (15), gum (10), popcorn (100), cheese stick (80), FiberOne snack bar (140), Kashi Pita Crisps (120), Lucky Charms (200), Chocolate (100), Sherbet (60)
Dinner: 3 turkey tacos (545), white russian (212)

Calories: 2275
Exercise: Worked on back deck with husband for 45 minutes...boring, but good work

So, we have one of those industrial-sized, heavy office desks upstairs in our office/library room and the sides don't have drawers in them, so you can lean back while sitting at the desk and look into the sides where drawers should be and just see empty space. I was working on something last night, and I scooted the chair back to get up, stretched back, and what did I see....the scale. I couldn't believe it. I didn't tell my husband that I found it. And, I confess...I weighed myself this morning. I actually felt relief weighing myself because I wanted to make sure the calorie range I am using and the amount of exercise I am using was working with weight loss. It's working. I feel kinda bad that I didn't hold out until the 29th like I originally planned, but I feel relieved and I'm not freaking out anymore. I swear, I freaked out for two weeks about weighing daily, and then I freaked out because I was trying not to weigh. I think it's just because I'm so close to goal and I am so anxious. But, now that I know it's working, I'm feeling better and feeling like less of a maniac. I'm not going to weigh daily. I might check in with the scale next Friday to see how I am doing, but I might not because I'll be ovulating then and my weight is notorious for going up during ovulation.

So, I've confessed. I almost didn't post my scale-finding confession, but I started this thread to be accountable and honest with myself which means being honest with others. I'm human, and I caved, but I feel ok and I'm not beating myself up because I couldn't hold out on not weighing until the 29th. Onward and downward!

Evening update: Holy moly, was I hungry after work today! I went grocery shopping, but grabbed a cheese stick before I left work, but then when I got home I scarfed down a Fiber One bar to hold me over until I started making dinner. Then I noticed that I got a sample box of Kashi's new pita crisps in the mail, so I (of course) had to sample them, which turned into eating a whole serving. Well, it looks like today is going to be a high calorie day...and I didn't exercise except for a quick spin around the block with my dog...it's so humid and hot out today! That's my excuse.

I think that half the battle with loosing weight is being honest and accepting of ourselves and actions. You have really got it. Weighing yourself is no big deal,but accepting your actions and owning them will take you so far in keeping healthy! Way to go!!

Thank you!!! I almost started writing about random things this morning until I stopped myself and said "be honest." I can't write and feel good about something unless it's honest, so I guess that's a good thing.

Breakfast: Two slices whole wheat toast with all-natural pb and fruit spread (156), coffee (15)
Lunch: Grilled chicken restaurant sandwich and pickles (500) Totally guesstimating here, but it looked like 8 oz of chicken which would be around 220-240 depending, plus another 220 for the super yummy bun, and then just rounding up for good measure
Snacks: Gum (5), Kashi Pita Chips (120), Graham crackers w/all natural pb (200)
Dinner: Lean Cuisine Chicken w/Basil Cream Sauce (250), popcorn (100), ice cream from small-town parlor(?)

Calories: 1346 + unknown for ice cream
Exercise: 3 miles rollerblading

Ooh, I had a little too much fun last night...once I get a drink in me I get snacky, and that's gotta stop. No more alcohol until I hit goal! Alcohol makes me crave sugar and the two just don't go well together when I'm trying to lose weight. It sucks being accountable sometimes. Hopefully my rollerblading today will help burn off the extra calories I ate (and drank) yesterday.

We're going out to lunch with some family today for my nephew's birthday, so I'm going to get a grilled chicken sandwich and sub broccoli for the fries. I won't know the calorie count for the grilled chicken sandwich because it's not a chain restaurant, but at least it's grilled chicken and not a burger.

I agree completely. I think one of the reasons I've failed to keep the weight off so many times in the past is that I've had an "all-or-nothing" mentality. I tried to change and do too much, too fast. I have such a different perspective now, and it feels so much easier than it has in the past. As you say, though, the challenges are still there. For instance, I have been so hungry the past few days. While I've been pretty successful in past weeks eating an average of 1400 calories per day (and even several 1200 calorie days), this week, I kept going over that. But I kept tracking my food anyway, and at no time did I binge. My average for the week will probably end up being about 1500 per day---not too shabby.

I love your compilation of quotations, by the way. I have one to add that I heard on Criminal Minds (LOL!) last night: "When we're young, we learn. When we get older, we understand." I'm applying that to weight loss. Years ago, I logically knew what to do to lose weight, but I have so much more understanding about the process now.

Your thread is an inspiration. Keep up the good work!

Hi Lin! I like the quote you got from Criminal Minds!! It's so true. It sounds like you've done great with calories even if you've gone over because even then your average of only 1500 is awesome! Thanks for reading. Keep up the great work!! It's great that your new perspective makes this journey easier for you...I think it definitely makes all the difference in the world when something is a smooth and easy process.

Breakfast: Two slices whole wheat toast with all-natural pb and fruit spread (156), cheerios w/milk (158), coffee (15)
Lunch: Chicken burrito (don't know the calorie amount, but this was in the burrito: chicken, lettuce, tomato, onion...no beans, no sour cream, no guacamole)
Snacks: FiberOne snack bar (140), Gum (5), Baked cheetos (75)
Dinner: Graham crackers w/peanut butter (500)

Calories: Unsure
Exercise: Nada...rest day

Four years ago today I lost my best guy friend to depression and suicide. He was my brother, my soul mate, the best of best friends. He hated the skin he was in, and just couldn't bear the pain any longer.

My hope is that people try to live their lives the best they can and get help when they need it. Being overweight and obese changed the way I felt about myself and there were times when I couldn't stand being me. I'm glad that dark part of my life has passed. I hope people realize that we are all worth it. We are all deserving of help. We are all deserving of hope.

Breakfast: Two slices whole wheat toast with all-natural pb and fruit spread (156)
Lunch: Lean Cuisine Glazed Turkey Tenderloins, snap peas (370)
Snacks: Chobani blueberry greek yogurt w/kashi (157), Gum (10), popcorn (100), cheese stick (80)
Dinner: Baked chicken w/laughing cow cheese wedges and brussel sprouts (425), Jell-o sugar free pudding (60)

Calories: 1358
Exercise: Walked outside 2.02 miles (not as bad out as I thought it would be!), jogged for 1 mile at 4.5 on treadmill

Wow, this weekend was kind of a mess. Did fine until Saturday night when we swung by our favorite ice cream place and I got some ice cream. And yesterday I was still full at 8:30 p.m. after eating that burrito at 2:00, but I felt like I needed to eat something, so I had graham crackers and my all-natural peanut butter...man, that peanut butter adds up quickly and they were calories I didn't need, $&%(#)!)@*!@! I have worked a lot on my emotional eating, but it's the tired eating that tends to get to me at night sometimes!

There are 10 days until July 29th when I'm hoping to hit goal, so I'm going to buckle down for the next 10 days, get my exercise in, and watch what I eat better next weekend. If I don't make it, I don't make it, and there is always the week after to weigh in also (and the week after, etc...however long it takes!), so my life isn't over if I don't hit goal next Friday, but it sure would feel good just to see the number. Weekends are the hardest for me, so it's imperative that I do well this coming weekend! The weather this week is going to be in the 90s with high humidity making the heat index 105-110, so there will be no outdoor anything this week. I feel bad because I can't walk my dog in this weather and he loves his walks, but it's just too nasty outside. This morning I stepped outside to head to work and my skin got wet immediately from the humidity and the air was just so thick...gross. Looks like I'll have to bust out the treadmill and the Jillian Michael's 30DS this week. Blech. I'd rather be outside, but this girl doesn't want heat stroke.

"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy; I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

Breakfast: Two slices whole wheat toast with all-natural pb and fruit spread (156), bowl of Kashi cereal w/milk (180) = (336)
Lunch: Subway 6" turkey sammich on wheat with spinach, pickles, and mustard (280)
Snacks: FiberOne snack bar (140), Gum (5), Popcorn (100), Godiva dark chocolate w/raspberry filling bar (200)
Dinner: Baked chicken w/laughing cow cheese wedges & brussel sprouts (425)

Calories: 1486
Exercise: 6.0 miles walked at the outdoor mall...good thing I brought my pedometer!; 1 mile jogging on treadmill

I signed up with some friends for a Spartan Race in October (www.spartanrace.com) and it is a 5K with 10 obstacle courses along the way. Wheee!! So, I started training last night and jogged 1 mile without stopping. Granted, it was on 4.5 and it took me 13:00, but my goal is to work up slowly but surely to 3 miles without stopping. And I have through October, so that should be plenty of time. I am excited. It's a good challenge to have!

I have the day off and my mom and I are going to an outside mall. It is supposed to be in the 90s and humid again today, so thank goodness for a/c and the awnings of the stores. I'm going to wear my pedometer to see how much I actually walk there. We'll probably eat out there, so that makes me a bit nervous. I don't have a smartphone, so I can't just pull up a browser and search calorie counts, and I don't know if any of the restaurants are going to have calorie counts available, but we'll see.

Hi Emme! Sorry about your loss. I too loss my brother just this past October.

I see your doing GREAT with your diet! I love the fact that you EAT when your hungry and you eat LESS when your not. You are inadvertently "calorie cycling"..hehe!

Anyways...I love your eating and exercising style. You are getting hardcore REAL LIFE work workouts! Believe it or not...those are the kind of workouts that put all that muscle on. Food and heavy lifting (and furniture works just fine!). That's it.

Keep up the good work and you'll find maintenance easier than you ever imagined! Take care.

Emme congrats on the running!! Starting out is hard, I think, because it is so hard to discover that "runner's high" in the speed and distance we are capable of in the beginning. But I remember it from 2 years ago and you will find it too! You'll be slogging along thinking "is this ever gonna end?" and all of a sudden your stride will smooth out and your lungs will feel like whale lungs and voila!

I'll keep stopping by to pat you on the back and hopefully we will both make our running goals!

Joy ~ Yes, I have to eat more when I am a bit hungrier. I don't see the sense of starving myself when I truly am hungry just to avoid another 100 calories. Must feed body! And I'm sorry to hear about your brother.

H82Sweat ~ Thanks! I've done a mile without stopping for two days now, and it's not so bad! I'm going to work up very slowly to 3 miles and once the weather cools off I am going to run it outside because I know running on pavement is much different than running on a treadmill...and the Spartan Race ain't no treadmill! LOL! Thanks for letting me know about the whale lungs! I could tell yesterday even just jogging the mile that the first 6-7 minutes I was trying to get my breathing paced right and after I did that, it was cake and my breathing was easy.

Breakfast: Two slices whole wheat toast with all-natural pb and fruit spread (156)
Lunch: Lean Cuisine Baked Chicken and snap peas (360)
Snacks: Chobani raspberry greek yogurt w/kashi (157), Gum (5), Popcorn (100), 2 Twizzlers (87), 3 kashi crackers (33), cheese stick (80)
Dinner: Baked chicken w/laughing cow wedges and asparagus (304), chocolate cheerios w/milk (187)

Calories: 1469
Exercise: Walked 1 mile in 108 degree temps...not smart. Finished off the night jogging 1 mile at 4.5 and 1 incline on treadmill. Much smarter.

Heavy plates: Man, there is just something fulfilling about eating off of a plate that is so heavy because it is filled with food. In my mind, anyway, it plays a big part! I started swapping snap peas for my baked cheetos during lunch and it's a whole frozen box of snap peas (only 120 calories!), but I put my Lean Cuisine and the snap peas all on one plate, and that thing is heavy when I pick it up. It makes me feel like I am eating a lot of food which my mind needs. Does the trick!