Oh cripes. I totally have the anxiety deal too. It stinks. super duper bad. I used to think I had this gene in my body that called for candy every single afternoon or after a stressful mtg. Nope. Nope. Nope. It's enlightening. Sometimes, I still find myself thinking I need candy after something stressful has happened but now, I think I can call a spade a spade and say dude, have it the next time you are hungry - you can still have all the candy you want, the next time you're hungry. It helps a ton. and Pssst... sometimes even though I know I'm not hungry and I still just cannot deal, I still have it - or at least a few pieces and maybe not as much as I normally would and move on. I'll get it next time.

I do hope the 1 minute meditation helps you. In any regard it's nice to just take a break for yourself and tune in.

My husband also does not eat cake - whatevs freaky freakerson! Alas he is naturally thin and eats whatever he wants whenever he wants, hungry or not. Hmmph!

So, at the beginning I kept having all sorts of food thoughts, and I kept a running log of them so I would remember the next time I was hungry. Sometimes I wanted those things and at other times, I didn't. but just knowing I could have it whenever I wanted the next time I was hungry, helped me out so much.

This is a long shot. But do you think that you might be gluten intolerant? A lot of the things you list that make your tummy hurt have gluten in them. I know it is all the rage right now, but my son and I are gluten intolerant therefore we are 100% gluten free in our house. It sucks a little because I can't just go to the store and buy whatever I want at any given moment but I'm working with it and living in NYC, you just have so many options!! I can also help you through the beginning stages if you think you may want to try it.

I do have to say that going gluten free was quite an ordeal for me. When the health practioner first mentioned it to me, a wave of anxiety went over me and I said frankly, "restricting food, does not sit well with me". This was 2 years before IE - I knew it back then that I just cannot restrict food without going bonkers. but when my son also was diagnosed that tipped the scales for me and I jumped completely into it. Now, I basically can make whatever I want whenever I want. It does require some planning but it's not too bad and I feel 100% better than I ever did before, so that's something.

anyway... just a thought.....

Wannabe,

My gut tells me that you should eat cake if you want it, even knowing that you may get sick from it. I find that I don't tolerate sweets well without it being a small portion served with a meal. Perhaps you can try playing around to see if there is any way you can satisfy your sweet tooth without the bellyache.

Jensassy I thought you were in Minnesota lol I'm in NYC too.

I am not gluten intolerant. The cause of my belly ache is te concentrated amount of sugar. I tolerate other wheat products just fine and I am also not addicted to carbs. I eat very moderately. I'm sorry to hear of your gluten intolerance. I have some friends who are GI and they are quite happy with their current food choices although it takes time to adjust psychologically.

So many husbands who are naturally intuitive eaters. It begs the question, why do women suffer so much and not men? Lets ponder that.

I have a similar thing too. I personally think the best way to have cake (or doughnuts for that matter) is with a hot cup or two of English tea. It's a match made in heaven and if you have the tea with no sugar I feel the balance and enjoyment is just right.

Also not all cakes are created equal. Maybe there was something about the kind of cake you are eating that doesn't sit with you. Is it too sweet, too much icing, too creamy, not creamy enough? I love cake but can't stand cupcakes because of the icing to sponge ratio. Maybe you will end up like your hubby and be a person that doesn't like cake, but maybe you just haven't found the right cake for you yet. I have lots of dessert recipes if you want

You can PM me now I've been a member for more than 20 days

Suzie: I think I would probably have started with overcoming overeating and then beyond chocolate. I didn't get a lot out of the official IE book ironically enough. It has too much nutrition stuff in it. there are other IE books out there but if they push any kind of nutritional info I can't even read it.

Jensassy: Yep I need to work on my anxiety. One thing i need to do more is focus on the present. Its always thinking about the past or the future that gets me anxious.

Wannabe, honestly I would eat the cake. I have bad physical reactions sometimes to lots of sugar or whatever Im craving but if I tell myself not to eat it, I just want it more and then when I finally give in I eat WAYY too much and then I really feel bad. I discovered for myself that having the sugary thing worked better and I slowly started adjusting amount and frequency to compensate for the bad feeling but it was pretty unconscious.

I think men just don't have the same self worth placed on their body image that women do.

Today Im trying to be conscious of my anxiety and try breathing and focusing on the present when I feel anxious. i really just want to eat when I am hungry, it feels so much better. I think I might be a natural grazer. The past few days I have been so busy that I just eat a few things here and there until my hunger is sated and I like it much better than fixing a whole meal and sitting down and eating it. I will have to see how I continue to feel.

Ok, so now I think I'm the weirdo - I do not have any of these icky feelings after eating sugar. Maybe I'm not paying enough attention to how I feel?

Wannabeskinny: I say eat the cake! eat it, eat it, eat it or you'll end up eating the whole thing. And I am in MN but after going gluten free and reading until my eyeballs bled about it, I learned that a lot of gluten free resources are in NYC and you have fabulous GF bakeries. We have like one and it sucks.

Pinkhippie: I know you can do it because you are already doing the hardest job on the planet hands down (sahm). seriously, I could never be home with my kids 24x7. nope, never. I love them to pieces but nope. YOU CAN DO THIS!

Suzzie2525: I did not answer you because I am so dang new to this that I'm cramming in a few of the books now too. I'm reading beyond chocolate, and the geenen roth books (I think I have them all and one is even a workbook!). I also just downloaded another one - something like being able to eat your cake and wear your skinny jeans too.

I do not want to work out today. I had it planned in my calendar, I had the time to do it, but I don't feel like it, so I'm not going to. I made a loaf of GF bread instead because I needed one as I'm completely out.......tomorrow is another day.

So...I'm down a few lbs. Which makes me think that I'm unintentionally restricting. Maybe it's not so unintentional. I don't know.

I also don't "work out" anymore. Because I hate it. I loathe it. It was -never- a part of the day I looked forward to and I always hated how I felt after. Which was sweaty and hungry.

So now I walk. Sometimes it's a mile, sometimes its 4. If I feel like it. And sometimes thats a big if.

My icky sugar feeling is just feeling light headed and tired. I never even noticed that it made me feel bad until I stopped eating it for a long long time. I can handle small amounts now though. I just have to have protein with it. The skinny jeans book is a good one too for restricters. Thanks for mentioning it.

I hate working out in the working out sense. But, I love doing physical stuff and I really like the after effect of weights, just not the actual weight lifting. And I love how I feel after exercise, but not enough to get up and do it on a regular basis.

I have continued to just graze during the day and then eat dinner and it seems like my body is really happy. I really like it because I actually just eat when Im hungry, I don't think about food because I have no meal to "plan". AND I eat all the snack food I can't normally eat because Im not hungry. For lunch today, I had a bowl of frozen yogurt sprinkled with trail mix and a spoonful of peanut butter. YUM. It's just what I wanted. Before that I nibbled on a few pieces of beef jerky and some crackers. Also just what I wanted. I have been snacking on fruit a lot more too because I like it. It took me a while to leave the mindset of fruit being bad because of the sugar. Before I would have made a "sensible lunch" and then had the fro yo for dessert. It's easier to let go of preconceived what is ok for meals when I am just snacking on stuff when Im hungry. So, we will see how that continues to go.

I'm having a bad day. I just met with my IE coach and she is a royal B. I'm not sure why I ever agreed to do this with her. I spent all this money and she continually makes me feel like crap yet she always talks about having grace and acceptance. She honestly feels that the only way this will ever work for me is to have an out of body experience where I've died and how will I feel about my body now. Listen to me lady - I'm having a hard time picturing this - it hasn't happened to me so I can't really tell you. UGH. maybe it was just a bad idea to do this with her? I only have 4 sessions left, so I guess I'll finish them out and then try to just go it alone. I don't need someone else making me feel bad because I do that plenty on my own.

has anyone else worked with someone on IE? I think I've seen that people work with nutritionists and therapists. Mine is neither - just someone who's been there and done that - even though she's NEVER been morbidly obese and has never lost a great deal of weight. I have a super hard time relating to her and vice versa. She just keeps shoving it down my throat that she has worked with so many people and who am I to judge her? I'm very unhappy.

The cake has got to go. I'm intuitively eating it lol. I'm not doing well at all lately. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm rebeling against something. When I was sick I lost 5 lbs and I felt like it was cheating. Those lost pounds were undeserved. I've gained back 3. I don't think in ever going to lose weight. My binging is under control thank gosh but the weight will never go. I'm very discouraged. All my mindful eating techniques are not working, I'm overeating regularly now. I've come such a long way and now I'm going to fail. I just can't win. I exercise more because I want to and then I overeat because it made me hungry. I'm trying to be on passionate but I still overeat. I'll never lean tonnage this.

I say if this works for you then go for it. To be honest I've taken the eat what you want when you are hungry very seriously. If I want ice cream for breakfast then so be it. As long as you are hungry when you eat/graze then this system is for you!!! go with it- no judgment.

I've always thought of fruit as "good" food so I never willingly chose it before when I was dieting.. I always wanted the "bad" food. Someday like you I hope I get over my fruit phobia and I eat it because I want and crave it......

also, I think I felt icky last night after eating a cheeseburger with fries two nights in a row for dinner. after I ate it I felt heavy and greasy. It was not a good feeling -- I think actually said out loud in the car with my kids in tow, "now I know what those girls were talking about!!!" now I need to find out what makes me feel good while still honoring what I "want" when I'm hungry.

That's terrible I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with her. I suggest you ride out the rest of the sessions with her and try to make the best of it. I'm working with a nutritional therapist who specializes in eating disorders and IE and I love her, she's been a tremendous help to me. But I get tripped up too, read my last post lol.

Sometimes what we get out of these sessions does not reveal itself until later on. A few years ago I shopped around for a therapist and visited several in the span of a month. I remember one in particular really rubbed me the wrong way. I told her I ate compulsively and binged in secret. She suspected that I was an emotional eater and suggested that I allow myself to go without food for several house and see what kind of emotions pop up in the absence of eating. It was something I was unwilling to do and I never saw her again. I've thought about it though and now I realize that it may have been exactly what I needed and I am now getting that kind of work done in IE. you may not like her now but try to get as much as you can from these sessions now, it may give you something to think about later on.

You've lost a lot of weight already! Please don't be discouraged! I finally finished the book and I think one of the hardest things to accept it to not weigh yourself and just trust that you are doing the right thing for your body. Maybe you could weigh yourself less often e.g. once a month?

Your health is not dictated by your weight but by the kinds of food you eat and how active you are. Even if you stay this weight, you can still be healthy and happy.

Anyway, you have all of us here to help you so you can't fail

Oh gosh, maybe it's the full moon that is making us crazy? but YOU CAN DO THIS!!! go back to basics. Eat when you are hungry, stop when you are feeling good. remember that you are the AFTER picture by having your freedom to eat what you want! without obsession or guilt!

I'm having a hard time with the body part too and associating weight loss to this. We have been so brainwashed that we must lose weight when in reality we must accept that the freedom to live this way is much much better than how we lived before. It's hard and this sucks but we can do this - the alternative is just too damn sucky to go back now!