Thank you HollyHock! You all are so great!! I'm feeling a lot better already. I no longer feel like I might have a panic attack and I don't want to cry anymore! I'm sitting here smiling even! I have a clarification on the job thing. I will be working until noon on Friday. It will be nice to get off work early on a Friday, but it would have been nice to have a full week's paycheck! Oh well.

Back on track. Before I get too far gone!!! I just dared to add up what I've eaten thus far today. (I got a little wild at lunch - went out instead of eating what I'd brought) So far I've eaten 1,355 calories. I'm not being a model citizen with this, but I think I can still turn it around and still have a calorie deficit for the day!

Thank you all so much. Oh my goodness! I just don't know what kind of frenzy I would have eaten myself into without your support.

I do have a question for you all. How do you get enough fiber into your diet?? I discovered over the weekend that I don't get nearly enough fiber. I eat mostly protein and carbs. I even tried eating some different stuff I have around the house yesterday and still only got about 60% of the daily recommended amount of fiber. Before I paid attention, I think I was only getting about 30% or so. -I ate a whole bag of microwave popcorn yesterday which increased me by 28%!! Maybe a good cereal would work?? I haven't really ever noticed my lack of fiber intake before to try to increase it, so I don't know what works! Thanks so much for your help!!

Stephanie
234/226/125
SW/CW/GW

Stephanie--I hope you get the job thing straightened out soon! I'm so sorry, this must be tremendously stressful. We care, so don't worry about sharing your stress with your fellow Losers. Re fiber, I'm on a conscious carb plan, so I'm rarely eating grains, at least for a while longer. I eat fruit three times a day--usually berries (in a protein smoothie, with a spoon of flaxseeds and sometimes with half a package of instant oatmeal), an apple and an orange or a pear. Most days I have a big salad for lunch (lots of veggies, a bit of protein). Most afternoons I have a protein bar for a snack. Some have a bit of fiber--try the Marathon bar, which is surprisingly yummy, too. I have two cups of veggies with dinner, so that gives me more fiber. Oatmeal, Kashi Good Friends cereal, and other high-fiber, low-sugar b'fast options can get you off to a good start. But you have to slowly build your tolerance, or you'll explode.....

Debbie--How's Curves? I look forward to going there three times a week. The women at the one I go to are friendly, but focused on getting a good workout.

Spores--congrats on getting in four days of exercise last week. Good luck with this week's goals.

Holly--I'm imagining your Tupperware collection....and just what are Turtle Days?

Susie--I'm so glad that you like TOPS. I've considered joining group like that, but in some ways there are too many parallels to my nonprofit worok, I'm afraid I would start bossing people around.

Wendy--Welcome! I'm losing by going to the gym, walking more, cutting out fried foods and simple sugars, and upping my intake of veggies and healthy proteins, fats and lower-carb foods.

Jodi, Girlie, Anne, hope you are all doing well.

I'm in good spirits today. I've been spending a lot of time looking inward, thinking about why I do things that are patently self-destructive. Life keeps getting in the way of my successfully losing weight and keeping it off--this time I'm not going to let that happen!

judy

AH, the 31st Annual Gala Days and Turtle Races!!!
Lol, I thought it was hokey at first and I now I am there thurs to sun. You gotta catch a turlte and train it ot race. there are bed races, baby contest,karoke, dances, roasty beef supper, breakfast, church, gospel sing, kids acts,spelling bee,rides, lawnmower races......................The WHOLE township comes out. I am doing the Turtle Idol this year ,weeheee.

This is DS, best friend and coach!!!!! Darn cute and sooo happy!

hello everyone !!
back to monday again! the weekends get shorter and shorter i think. i kept very busy at work so it went fast. ran home from work ate dinner, and started running kids to practice. i have a whopping 45 minute reprieve before i have to go back out and pick them all up again! sports gotta love them lol. i went to my first weight watchers meeting on saturday. it was good, i didn't really learn very much, but there is something about being in a room of people who all have a common goal. their scale weighed me high and i am still trying to get over that! i think i can do it though! so i have had 2 good days so far.

judy- good for you doing some soul searching, i can totally relate to the self destructive behaviors. i hope you find your answers. keep looking forward!!

stephanie- good luck finding another job hon. ((((stephanie)))) something will come along. you sound like a real survivor so have faith in yourself!! as far as fiber goes, beans are great, i have been eating a cereal in the mornings called fiber one it has 14g's of fiber per 1/2 cup serving. it takes a little getting used to, has a sort of bran taste to it. i use a packet of sweetner and 1/2 cup skim milk and add fruit sometimes. it is very filling, it is the highest fiber cereal that i can find. i also use whole wheat bread you want one with 3g's per slice. hope this helps! good luck and keep your chin up!!

spores- sorry you are still rushed, hope it gets better soon. you are doing a great job with your choices for exercise and trying to eat at home keep it up!!!

holly- i love organizing things too, i am a list maker! isn't it fun to see everything all neat and tidy? lol too bad i am only able to do a little at a time. hope DH gets well quick for your sake lol

susie- i hope you are doing better today! don't stress about no getting everything done get the most important stuff and the rest will wait. i hope DH does well with his surgery, i hope it isn't anything serious. take care sweetie all will be well!

hi wendy nice to meet you hop right in! your choices sound fine, we all follow different plans in here. the support is great! hope you post often!

debbie- how was curves??
well i hope i didn't miss anyone, have a great evening!!!

cute pic holly, the coach isn't too bad either!!

I did it!! I did my 1st workout and I loved it. I was the biggest person I saw, but I wasn't the oldest. They were so helpful and supportive. I'm sure I'll be sore tomorrow. That ok.
Jodi: my scale lied to me also. I have futher to go to my goal. But it is doable.
better go it feeding time at the zoo.
remember my family is 3 grow men. lol
BIG HUGS TO ALL

Yippeeee!!!!! Go Debbie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yikes 3 grown men to feed.
Jodi~ glad you feel postitive about WW. Hope the weekend was good if too speedy.
Steph~ 1/2 c of bran cereal is great. I happen to LOVE it. Eat apples,brocolli,carrots....lots of fibre in fresh fruit and veg, whole grain breads. You could also take a suppliment( natural) if you arent' getting enough from food.Drink lots of water when you boost the fibre.
Judy~ I am an introspective sort too. I think the body, mind and spirit go hand in hand.
Spores, Susie ,HI!!

Hi Ladies,
Thank you for all your support and advice yesterday. Just writing about it really helped. That's why this board is so important to me. Really it's a journal that I share with everyone.

My DH is having surgery for an abdominal hernia. He's had it for 3 years and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Finally he decided he was tired of the way it was showing through his clothes. I've had a lot of surgerys but I've never been on this side of it before. It's a little unsettling. He and I are all we have. We have no children and my parents are gone. I do have a brother I'm close to. We have a lot of friends and such but he's the person who makes the difference in things to me. So I'm admiting I'm a little scared to have to wait for him to come out of surgery. He's usually my rock when I go through things and this time I have to be his and be alone while I'm waiting.

I made a list yesterday off all the things I feel I need to get done so that I have a handle on things. I was able to cross 3 things off of it yesterday. I'm a person who has to have things in order or it drives me crazy! I also started cleaning the house this morning. I got one room done in a half an hour, will work on another one tomorrow morning.

Jodi: It's unsettling when a different scale shows we weigh more than we thought. Just remember it's just a number and all it is a marker of sort, to let you know where you are at so you know where you are going.

Holly: Thanks for sharing the picture. I think you are the most upbeat energetic person I've ever met!

Stephanie: I hope that a permanet job becomes available for you soon. Hopefully by Friday the temp agency will have something else lined up for you. I don't have anything to input on the fiber issue, but aren't these ladies awesome? ! If you have a question or a concern, someone here can help you. It's nice to have you with us.

Debbie: I'm so PROUD of you girl!

Judy: I have to laugh when I read your line about being afraid that you would be too bossy. That's certainly in my personality and I can see it come out sometimes in the meetings because I jump right in with something. Hey, someone has to do it right?

Spores: I have a hard time on the weekends also. Maybe someone here has some advice on that topic. Maybe we could discuss it?

I've got to get to work.

Have a great day ladies. I'm working hard to stay on plan because I know you all are doing the same.

Susie

Susie/Judy~ I speak up too. I look in the first sec to see who rolls their eyes. it bothers me when people hold back and then ***** and chew later.I have had to learn to sit back and listen and wait. I jot down notes and then I weigh the pros and cons of speaking up. It was a HARD , LONG lesson to learn.
Susie~ HUGS for your worries.It must be really tough being the one waiting.
As far as being energetic, I do wonder and worry if it is more obnoxious than anything else. I cant really help it though. LOL!
I am trying to be proactive today!
DH is driving me batty. The kids are driving me batty. My back aches. I am irritable. I am assuming it is a mild case of pms. LOL, or I am just a b***h. ROFL!!
Okay, So after the big kids go to school and the baby goes down for his morning nap, I will take a HOT shower and then do the whole yoga tape. I will breathe.
I will eat lots of fruit and veg. Drink lots of water.This aft at nap time, I will find a quiet corner and meditate.
Hubby just went to work but was incredibly miserable about it. I must say we are ALL relieved.
Time to pack lunches.......
I'm back.
DH will not probably stay the whole day but wanted to put in an appearance. His comments from the peanut gallery ALL day yesterday sure got my dander up. I had 10, yes 10, kids all day. Plus 2 adults.It was BUSY. Get off my back and the kids backs too.
I spent most of the morning letting the kids putter and I sat here and made mixed cd's and listened to music.
It was enjoyable. I made a mixed cd of all women singers I love.Etta James, Janis Joplin through to Annie Lennox, Shania Twain, Pink.......... nice.
DD had dance last night. I came home and watch Idol. More comments from the peanut gallery but he was being funny. he would say hey ,that guy can sing, I would say he's a babe too. And then the next guy came up and DH says, ooooo he is a hotty, I love those shoes, ROFL!!!
We watched 24 together. The only show we both like, our 3rd year. Keifer is a babe too but i haven't mentioned that yet. LOL!
DH IS hoping that the more I listen to Kalan though, the more likely he is to get lucky. Poor old goat!
The troll finally went to bed and I had some quiet time.
I didn't eat enough during the day yesterday. I had a terriaki P chop and veg for dinner but was starving at 10. I had some cheese on Ryvita and fruit.
It has been a couple months of having to be up at least by 7am every single day of the week. I am sooooo tired of it.
The last hockey game is 8 am Saturday. SS is a 9am till June. sigh. 8 kids most days in shifts. Maybe after hockey is done DH and I can shack up in a motel in Bayfield and hang with his friends. Wooohoooo.
School council meeting tonight.

A few kids off on the bus, 6 here. Everyone came in PJ's, giggle. Jammy party!!

I wonder if I actually had anything meanful to say......the head is pleasantly empty.

The sun is shining. It is a frigid -14C. Windy.

Have a groovy day.

Good morning everyone,
My scales went out in the trash. I weighed 20 lbs more at curves. DH told me he weighed 20lb more at dr office. So they are gone! I am not sore yet today but I am going back this am. It looks like with my hours at work and the hours they are open I'll be going on mon, tues and sat am. then fri pm.
The building was very cheery and GIRLIE. Lots better than any gym I've been to.
Yes, having to feeding 3 men is a real diet challenge. DH has high bp, high triglycerites. He will follow a diet to a degree. DS1 is very obese but will have nothing to do with a diet. and no amount of begging will convince him. Hes 30 yrs old. So he just eats somewhere else if he doesnt like what we are having. DS2 could eat anything. He's 26yrs old and still can fit in his clothes he wore in hs. He is just a bottomless pit. I try to keep everyone happy. I can't go to any extremes. I just sneak healthy in on them.

Holly: girl, you must have nerves of steel. 10 kids!... and you without childrens chewable Valium. lol

Susie: sorry, dh has to have surgery
Try to get a friend to go with you. Having someone there will make it so much eaiser on you.

Stephanie: I put 1tbs of flax meal on my old fashioned whole oats every morning and then I sneak in another tbs somewhere else during the day.



I'll change my weigh tracker later... bummer!!!
EVERYONE HAVE A BLESSED DAY AND ALWAYS BE KIND TO YOURSELVES.
BIG HUGS

Hello everyone. Sorry I was missing over the weekend and such.
I had a good interview on Friday and am waiting to hear back...oh, this is the worst part! I've already decided to go car shopping if I get this job...I would be able to afforder something newer and so I wouldn't have to worry about my car falling apart on me. It rattles so much and I have to yell to have a conversation in it if I'm driving over 40mph! Anyway, I'd be able to save more, pay on my debt more and send my mother money. I've been so horribly lazy about exercising. I'm also considering cutting some carbs. I don't eat entirely all that much. We went to a restaurant w/buffet and I realize I eat mostly protein and veggies anyway, so it shouldn't be too hard. I only make things like rice and mashed potatoes at home because DH likes it. A lower carb, lower sugar diet is supposed to be better for people with PCOS, insulin problems like me. That means low carbs, low sweet fruit/sugar and high veggies and proteins and legumes. I'm definitely not going NO carb...I just want to make better decisions and lower the intake.

Need to get back to the gym. DH takes my car 3 nights a week to school...I should be able to go at least 3 of the other nights. I'm feeling extraordinarily lazy. Take a few days off leads to not going at all. And a month ago I was going every day practically.This is the time of year when I start to slack. I need to recognize this pattern and shape up.

I'm glad to see everyone is doing okay...

Stephanie:
I hope you get another temp or FT job soon. I know the paycheck to paycheck thing all too well. *hugs* PS- great source of fiber is split pea soups and lentil soups! I try to drain as much of the broth out of these as possible and leave mostly the peas or beans to reduce the sodium. They are both very low in fat as well.

Sorry this is so short. Will keep you all updated!

Girlie

Hey everyone, Just got back from Curves, and I'm LOVING IT! I had forgotten how much energy exercise gave you. I haven't felt this good in a long time. Going to get some housework done while the energy is up.

TAKE THE TIME TO DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR YOURSELVES, I JUST DID!

Stephanie: Oh, oh, I know just how you feel, and how awful that panickey, overwhelmed feeling can be! Sending you lots of good thoughts. I know this is a very stressful time. But remember: you can make it through this. The world will not end. You have managed to get through tough spots before. Breathe, breathe, breathe. You have people who love and care for you. You have deep and strong inner resources. Things might be difficult for a while, but you will make it through this and be okay. Eating everyting in sight sounds good, but it will probably make you feel worse. Maybe there’s a better way to make yourself feel better: Do you journal? Give yourself an extra ten minutes on your lunch break or this evening when you get home and write write write it out. Hop into a warm bath tonight and give yourself some hiding-from-the-world time. If you start feeling really freaked out, just take a walk. Grab your housekeys and just walk out of your front door and keep going until you feel more calm. Sometimes you just need to get all that tension out of our body. No matter what happens, you will be okay. Oh, fiber: like Judy said, fruits and veggies are a great source. I also like oatmeal, Kashi bars and cereal, and Clif bars. I prefer to get fiber through food rather than supplements. Have you looked at fitday.com? You can find out the nutritional content for just about anything, and if you want you can use their free software to log your food and get your totals for all kinds of nutrients.

Judy: “I've been spending a lot of time looking inward, thinking about why I do things that are patently self-destructive.” Yes, me too! This is such a difficult issue. Because surely our little self-preserving brains aren’t trying to destroy us! Best I have come up with so far is that I have self-preservation instincts that are just no longer effective. Somewhere, my subconscious wants to save me from the impending famine, but it hasn’t gotten the memo that industrialized agriculture is keeping the fridge full (for now, anyway; rant about industrialization of the food supply forthcoming). There’s a lot of rewiring to be done, I think, to change those deep-seated subconscious urges.

Holly: The turtle race sounds fun! Now, thats a race I could manage. Cute pic, thanks! Wow, you sound swamped! Good for you for finding some relaxing time.

Jodi: Glad to hear Weight Watchers went well. I too think that being in a group of others with the same goals would be inspiring. I tried WW a couple times when I was younger, but it didn’t work for me. Being accountable to a higher authority just put me in the mindset of “how can I get away with cheating?” I need to learn to be accountable to myself – to view myself as an authority figure. Hm, there’s a project!

Debbie: Congratulations on the workout!!!! What a great feeling that is, to know that you can do it! Wooooo! Phooey on those scales. It is just a number to give you a benchmark. It means what we allow it to mean. Wow, you have a lot of diverse mouths to feed. Good for you for just making something healthy and letting them sort it out.

MychoiceSusi: Oh, surgery can be so scary. Sending you warm good thoughts. You’ll get through it, and you rDH will come through fine. Just don’t forget to nurture yourself so you can nurture him. Yes, getting a handle on weekends is so hard. Especially because Saturday and Sunday are “supposed” to be the relax-and-have-fun days, and of course for me, that means don’t exercise (“relax”) and eat a ton of junk (“fun”). Maybe the first step is to redefine what I think of as relaxing and fun. Find fun in cooking healthy food. Find relaxation in active things, like playing frisbee in the park. Anyone else have ideas?

Okay, it’s Tuesday. Kind of a hard day for me, because I *finally* am finished with my Tuesday classes! Great, but now here I am with a long to do list and so much unstructured time. I am a structure-addict. I need something telling me what to do each and every minute or I get lost, wander around, mope, snack, watch television, and mildew. I have been clicking around online for an hour now with no purpose. And that to do list keeps seeming longer and longer. So. After I post, I will choose one thing on the list. Just one thing. And I will do that thing until it’s done. Then I will set a timer for 20 minutes and let myself mope until it goes off. Then another thing on the list. Boom boom boom. That’s the plan. And two of the things on the list are: eat lunch, workout. I mustn’t put them off like I often do.

I notice that it seems almost everyone here is the person in charge of cooking and cleanig in their home. Am I the only one who doesn’t think of those things as my responsibility at home? Just curious. I seem to know very few straight married women who don’t feel responsible for doing the cooking and cleaning; even if their DH helps, they still feel like it’s ultimately up to them to make sure it gets done. This is interesting to me, because I grew up in a household where my dad worked and my mom stayed at home and was in charge of house-things. But somehow I never really got the message that it was my job do to that sort of stuff. My BF and I have pretty much a 50-50 partnership attitude on the whole thing (though of course we are always working on figuring it out). And I wonder how this fits in to the whole paradigm of putting-other’s-needs-before-our-own that seems to be such a challenge in weight loss.

Okay, off to do do do! Did my treadmill yesterday, and it was for some reason really hard. I couldn’t go as fast as I did last week. Maybe those three days of no exercise set me back. Will try to push myself today without overdoing it.

Have a great tuesday, all!

Now I am thinking, Spores.
For me ,and I guess us, we both do what we love to do. I am a natural nurturer and I love cooking, cleaning,running the house hold.He does LOTS of other things like car repairs, renos, yard work( we have acre), ots of activities wiht the kids, bedtime routines.
Now, if I was told to do stuff and it was expected I would have my back up. And if I am swamped and ask for help I expect it with out argument. There is balance.
I think it is more about personality traits. I know married couples whose roles are the opposite of ours. What ever floats your boat.
I aim to take care of my husband and kids because it is what feels right to me but also have what I need to be centered. I do okay at it most days.
I see myself as a fairly strong "feminist" but I happen to have CHOSEN the traditional role of a 1960's wife. I would way rather live this way than modern families where both parents work.

The whole post was great.Some fantastic points and thoughts.

Stephanie--I hope you are holding your head up today, and being good to yourself!

Susie--When is your DH's surgery? We'll all send you positive thought waves when the time comes. In the meantime, please assume that it will be okay, that your hubby will be happier and healthier after he's had the hernia taken care of!

Debbie, you little athlete, you! I'm so glad that you like Curves. I go on Monday and Wednesday evenings, and on Saturday morning. I will tell you from sad experience to pay attention to your form on the machines until it becomes second nature. I got sloppy there after the first few weeks, wasn't relaxing my shoulders and keeping my head back, and managed to strain something in my back. It's all fine now, but it helps to get a 'refresher' after your first few visits, to make sure that you're doing it right.

Girlie--I'm on a sort of "conscious carb" plan, closer to South Beach than to anything else. I refuse to give up fruit altogether, and now and again I've had a piece of really good bread, or sushi rice, and not felt as if I've screwed up. But day in and day out, my extra calories were mostly from carbs, and after years of low-fat diets, I could eat bowls of cereal and not ever feel full. So far this is working for me, albeit slowly.

Spores--re the weekends, I've noticed that when I'm busy, I'm not "hungry." Hmmmm But Friday or Saturday nights, I find myself rambling around the kitchen, even when I know I'm not at all hungry. I think I'm comforting myself as an aging single gal who's not cuddling with a BF or out on the town. Playing Home Spa helps, 'cuz it makes me feel special. So does talking to my mom or sibs on the phone. Sometimes I check in here, but when I go online at home, I tend to lose all track of time, so I don't always crank up the computer.

Holly--thanks for sharing the picture. Turtle Days sound pretty fun! Re gender roles: my ex and I were good about sharing chores. We got to be in charge of things that bugged us or that we were good at, which made it easier to divvy up the stuff neither of us wanted to do. In my extensive study of men and their curious habits, I've discovered that a lot of it comes down to good home training. So those of you raising young boys, do the next generation of women a favor and teach your manlings to take care of themselves, and let them see your DH bustin' a sud or two!

Jodi--I'm glad to hear that WW will give you good support! I like their magazine a lot. I've been considering joining some sort of group, but I can't bear the thought of adding one more time commitment to my schedule. So you and the gang here will have to help me watch my weight.

Gotta go buy groceries. The only fresh produce I have at home are two onions

judy