Interestingly enough, the pound is still gone this morning.

I've been trying new recipes this week. Some are of the light, lower calorie type but that one last night sure wasn't! Tonight we'll have leftovers to clean out the fridge and then tomorrow will be an interesting vegetarian lasagna with the "alfredo" sauce made from cauliflower. Sounds interesting.

Shannon I hope July will be more positive for you.

Dagmar

Hang in there Shannon. Why do you need to throw out the trail mix? Too tempting? I had way too many grapes yesterday (again). Sigh.

Allison-- you sound baffled about your loss. Take it and run!

I'm carless today. It will be a challenge not to graze in the kitchen (there are more grapes in the fridge-- they were on sale!). I know what I should do-- go upstairs and tackle my closet. But that doesn't sound fun does it!!?

We are probably going to see Monsters University tonight. Hopefully going to the gym first and sushi but we'll see when everyone (with cars!) gets home.

Tomorrow dh is driving up to Spokane to start helping dd pack. He is bringing a car full of stuff-- table and chairs, etc. so hopefully it fits in my car. The plan is to pack what he brings plus what she is moving into a Pod to ship. They will also craigslist some of the things that she doesn't need. It should be very busy as she is finishing her masters and has barely started packing. They will pack/move for a few days then drive back here with her truck and my car (plus her cat and service dog). The plan is for them to be back July 3. Younger dd and I will have to share one car while they're gone so it should be interesting-- hopefully she "lets" me drive her to work so I have a car those days.

My housecleaners had to reschedule so they are coming July 3. I had spent the day getting ready for them. Now we have more time to prepare but the house looks like it's getting messier, not cleaner!!

I found out my principal is leaving-- she took an important position at the district office. She is the only principal the school has had (and my only principal for the past seven years). I'm worried about who will take her place.

What a weigh-in this morning: 148.9. I don't know whether to be glad that my scale is so exquisitely calibrated or to feel a bit sad that a lot of work on my part and vigilance about what I ate while out at the B&B in Connecticut only resulted in a fraction of a shift downward.

I feel like I've got other things to think about, and this is lower on the list, though still there. As it always is and ever will be.

This is my problem lately. I have been so busy with work that extends past 10-hour days into working at home on nights and weekends, plus squeezing in whatever "life" I can, that weight management has officially gone to the very back burner. I haven't weighed in weeks, and haven't really thought about food other than how to squeeze in a meal when I can. In a way, this feels healthy - like this is how "normal" people might treat eating, and that weight is something that you really shouldn't think about that often.

But I've been in this place before, and it eventually ends in a somewhat shocking weigh-in where I discover that lack of vigilance alone, even without overt excessive eating, has allowed me to creep up beyond my comfort zone and back into the "hard work now required to fix this" zone. I know that maintenance is really yo-yoing on a short string...it's when the string gets longer and longer that trouble starts.

I like your comment about the yo-yo string - mine has become a bungee cord of late .

Dagmar

I'd be a lot better off with my body image if, whenever someone gave me a compliment, I didn't inwardly gape at them, and in my mind, start stuttering: "But ... but ... but ... but ..." as I remember all my shortcomings.

This all happens inside of me, since I've learned not to verbally deflect compliments. That doesn't mean my thinking has caught up with my behaviors.

Yesterday, it was when I was talking back from the gym, passing through our communal gardens. I had on a spandexy sort of gym tank, because of the really high humidity level, which somehow also invades even the well-airconditioned gym. I attribute the shaping power of spandex to my sweet upstairs neighbor, Mary, poking me in the belly and saying, "Look, you're flat there. You have no roll at all." She's in her late 70s & said this with some wonderment & I like her very, very much, so that's why I wasn't offended at being touched.

It took all my will to thank her and not launch into some overly detailed explanation, which would have sounded something like this: "Actually, no, I'm not. I'm a bit dehydrated from my workout, which helps. But I have a B-shaped belly with a flat lower half and a rounded upper half. Some of this is because of loose skin from losing over 100 pounds after being obese for many decades. Tight elastic-enforced clothing like this is actually my friend because it compresses the loose skin and the remaining pebbly fat cells."

That's my interior monologue.

Why can't I just let it go? I stared at her, this very kind woman who's someone's great aunt. I wanted to believe her. I knew better. Then the self-castigation.

What a lot of time & energy I waste thinking about this subject.

Saef--- someday you and I will meet. We will sit down, perhaps having coffee, and chat at length about our frustrations and similarities. Maybe it will never happen, but I definitely feel a kinship to you.

Your Spanx story reminded me of something my hubby said to me about a week ago. He very nicely suggested I get Spanx. He thought I would love them. I was surprised by his suggestion, but then he told me how much he likes his Spanx. He doesn't have Spanx. He meant spandex. I thought it was hilarious and am glad I wasn't offended before I figured it out!

I am having my own deep frustrations lately. I truly cannot figure out why I've gained weight over the last year. My age? My thyroid? I don't know but it is making me so frustrated that I want to give up sometimes. I have all but eliminated processed foods, I continue to exercise virtually daily, and only eat something off plan once a month or less. It could be too much fruit, but really?! It makes me p**sed that I could eat so healthy, exercise, and do everything right, yet my weight keeps creeping up. I'm going to my endocrinologist soon and I've complained about the gain to him before and he doesn't seem all that sympathetic. I know that I'm still "small" and at a healthy weight, so it seems like they don't care. It reminds me of when I was young and trying to get pregnant. I started trying to get pregnant when I was 21 (I got married at 20) and suffered through years of infertility and miscarriages. Because I was young, doctors didn't really feel the need to investigate. If I was 35, they would have been more aggressive.

Just venting here.....
I went to Zumba this morning and will go to Bikram this afternoon. I'll just keep on keeping on as I don't know what else to do.

About how many calories a day do you eat ?

Bargoo--- good question and I'm not exactly sure-- I don't count calories. I lost my weight with Weight Watchers so I count points. I haven't been tracking lately but I'm pretty sure I'm staying within my points. Obviously, one thing to try would be to go back to tracking-- whether points or calories. I was tracking religiously and still gaining though. A few years ago (while on Weight Watchers), I tracked my calories as I was curious as to how my calorie intake compared to my points. At that point, I was eating 1300-1400 a day. I might be eating a little more now but I don't really think so.

Mega exercise today-- so I'm hoping maybe I'll see a whoosh tomorrow. That would certainly help my mindset at this point.

Ah, Michele, I'd like that. We'll go out for an Acai bowl -- do I have the name of the thing right? And we'll talk together & completely understand each other's frustration with the concept of homeostasis, and how our bodies have cleverly adapted to the nearly continual calorie limitation and all the exercise we engage in.

This week I'm trying to find some love inside myself for my legs. After all, they are strong and get me through a lot of cardio. They're highly functional. But their appearance leaves much to be desired. I wish I were less of an aesthete & then I wouldn't be so hard on myself.

I wish I could give you advice that would be 100% guaranteed to work. I am at a good place tight now but that hasn't always been the case. I have had my share of stalls, plateaus and other stumbling blocks. The one thing that I have done right is I did not give up. Oh, I have in the past but somewhere along the line I realized that was a self defeating attitude. I do count calories and even more importantly I plan my menus for the day, everyday. My menus are not carved in stone so I may alter them , staying within my calorie allotment. I sometimes binge and when I do I keep it to one day and it usually does not do any harm , except mentally. I go to restaurants and social events and try to practice portion control but generally a little more lenient with my choices than everyday at home eating. My best piece of advice. Do Not give up !

Thanks Bargoo for the support. You are right. Giving up surely isn't the answer.

Yes, Saef, you got it correct. I'd like that.

I was quite a grouch this morning when I awoke expecting a whoosh and I was actually up on the scale! How could that be? I did zumba (and I move and jump like crazy) and bikram yoga in 100 degree temps (outside). I was so irrationally mad but forced myself to go to bikram as planned. Someone was in "MY SPOT"- how rude. So, I had to practice in a different spot. I had some major soul searching during yoga. I started off MAD at myself, but then I realized I was directing my anger towards the wrong person. I am doing everything I can, so being mad at myself is fruitless. I redirected my anger to my body (also not very productive) and my scale. As class went on, I got less angry and left in a pretty good place. I know I shouldn't weigh myself after class but I do sometimes--- if I'm lucky I'm the same (I drink two big smart waters during class). I was down over 2 pounds! Hmmmm..... I'm making sure to eat lightly and smartly today and I'm about to go to body pump. Sometimes body pump causes my weight to increase but I'm hoping it will be down tomorrow just a little bit! I'm taking a friend out to lunch tomorrow so that is always tricky but I've given her a few healthier options to choose from. Gotta keep on keeping on....

I am on my first day without energy drinks. I feel really nervous. Stupid yes but this is a repeat of what I went through with the diet cola. I got to the point where I felt weird without any in the house. For me that spells trouble.

So no more Rockstar or M or any of the others. I will probably substitute ONE iced coffee (which I make myself) for the several cans of e drinks I've been consuming every day. Healthier and much cheaper. Win/win.

Dagmar

Mudpie: Totally a win/win! Energy drinks are scary when used regularly. I know a very successful person who sleeps 4 hours each night then wakes up, starts in with some diet Red Bulls and keeps them going all day. If the constant flow of Red Bulls stops, so does the person's productivity - in a very serious way. It seems like a bad way to live on a daily basis. Good for you!!

I finally weighed myself - and I'm 137.5, exactly what I was a month ago. I think I will stick to weighing every month and that's it. It helps my sanity to not weigh daily and to avoid seeing the constant weight fluctuations due to water/hormones/large meals.